Administration okays family's mental abuse of staff

[FoolsErrand]

Had a pt on our unit this week with a very mean family, especially daughter and wife. They were constantly throwing insults at the staff while they were caring for the pt and literally yelling at staff, calling them dirty, telling them anything they did was wrong, following them around nurses station yelling, etc. It was horribly stressful. The nursing staff were requesting not to have the pt back and by the end of the week pretty much everybody had to endure this abuse by the family. The staff bent over backward, went above and beyond to try to attain the impossible goal of making this family happy and to try and ensure they did not escalate their already out of hand behavior. At the end of the week, the nicest, most patient and understanding RN I have ever encountered had this pt/family. They even had her in tears and frustrated, which I never thought I would see. The charge Rn finally spoke with the wife, telling her the staff and her were on the same team, that we all wanted the best possible care for her husband and tried to explain there needed to be a better way to communicate with the staff.

Well, this caused all hell to break loose! The CEO was called, all sorts of family members showed up to yell some more. Two different "suits" showed up on the unit to make the family happy. None of the "suits" talked to the nurses. None of them asked what we had been going through. They just walked in the pt room, talked with the family and then walked off the unit and talked to the nursing supervisor who was given the task of telling the charge Rn that she and the staff had to basically "suck it up," do whatever they say, deal with them yelling at us and too bad for you guys.

I am so upset with the way administration handled this situation. I feel like the family had treated the nursing staff like 3rd-class citizens all week and the "higher-ups" agreed we are just that and gave them permission to continue their horrible behavior.

Thankfully, it is rare to have families or patients that are THIS bad. But, when it does happen, why is it ok to have your staff abused? Is the money this one pt brings in really worth your nursing staff being constantly mentally abused? There really needs to be something set in to place for the rare event of a pt/family so out of control. It is sad that they know they can treat the nursing staff as horribly as they want and they will be backed up by administration.

I really had to vent and don't think I have even gotten it all out

I am so disappointed in the administration. This whole scenario that played out has me seriously considering looking for a new job, but I am doubtful there is any place that would actually stand up for their staff and not allow this abuse.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

EVERYONE IS ENTITLED (Yes, I said entitled) TO BE RESPECTED AND TREATED DECENTLY WHEN THEY ARE DOING A JOB. Period.

There should be no discussion of IF it should be done. And people who hold your particular view of those they manage wonder why on earth turnover is so high and no one wants to work in their facility.....'customers' do NOT have the right to do whatever they want to do to whomever they feel like doing it to, no matter how much 'money' they bring in. Yes, the reality is that those in power don't care anything at all about those who work for them, but that doesn't make it ok or right. They will also find that the care in their facility will become substandard as they continue to belittle the importance of their staff and lose more of them.

I don't think it says 'be abused daily and smile while it's happening' in anyone's contract, so NO I don't have to bend over and take it. I can refuse a patient or make a stink about it. Yes, I can also lose my job, but I'd rather walk. There are other places I can work that are better. At least we both agree that leaving is an option.

I agree with you.

Administration/higher ups want to keep customers (patients) coming back and bringing in the money, so of course it's easier to slap a nurse/staff hands, even when they aren't wrong. Crap rolls downhill, after all.

That is why I believe there's a conflict of interest to have nurse's rights/workplace happiness/staffing issues/safety to be managed by hospital administration who are only concerned about BUSINESS, not patients. It's all a big ruse. Patients=profits, bottom line, so however they need to keep that flowing in....

[bjaeram]

I work in the ER and maybe that makes things different but we don't tolerate abuse. We try hard to fix the situation first but if that isn't working the family is asked to leave. We have done this on multiple occasions and it works. Secuity escorts them if necissary. They don't have to be there and we don't have to put up with the crap.

[StNeotser, ASN, RN]

I think we have somewhere in our Employee Handbook that we have a right to a safe workplace. Clearly a family like this violates that policy.

If enough nurses were to say something like "I was trying to obtain meds for another patient when this family did X" or "I was walking down the hall with urgent medications for patient X and this family did Y" you would get further. Sure they don't care about your feelings, but they will care when they find out that other patients care have been compromised due to this family.

Yes, and if they did this in Macys, the Bagel Shop, the place where you get your brakes checked, a court house, harassed a mail man they'd get arrested.

It's the one reason I hate nursing. These people. I can do poop, crazy patients, people dying, irrational doctors but I can't rationalize why limits are not put upon this sort of family. Surely if society had no limits, you'd have a whole lot more issues at Macys, the Bagel Shop and Just Brakes.

Limits and rules and the law of the land that exists outside the health care setting is what keeps our society manageable. Pretending the customer pays extra money to abuse the staff and we'd have mayhem every day in every social setting.

[steelydanfan]

I think we have somewhere in our Employee Handbook that we have a right to a safe workplace. Clearly a family like this violates that policy.

If enough nurses were to say something like "I was trying to obtain meds for another patient when this family did X" or "I was walking down the hall with urgent medications for patient X and this family did Y" you would get further. Sure they don't care about your feelings, but they will care when they find out that other patients care have been compromised due to this family.

Yes, and if they did this in Macys, the Bagel Shop, the place where you get your brakes checked, a court house, harassed a mail man they'd get arrested.

It's the one reason I hate nursing. These people. I can do poop, crazy patients, people dying, irrational doctors but I can't rationalize why limits are not put upon this sort of family. Surely if society had no limits, you'd have a whole lot more issues at Macys, the Bagel Shop and Just Brakes.

Limits and rules and the law of the land that exists outside the health care setting is what keeps our society manageable. Pretending the customer pays extra money to abuse the staff and we'd have mayhem every day in every social setting.

Look, I know that admin. may or may not back me up, but this is my take on the situation:

You can come on to me rude, crude and crazy the first time; but after I have sussed you out for your rationality factor, explained the rules and the flow of the unit, answered your questions and facilitated your contacts with Social Services, Case Management AND the doctor, I need to get on with my other 4 pt.s. Your behaviour will be documented IN DETAIL in my nursing notes, including the profanities in DIRECT QUOTES.

Subsequent cursing, agressiveness and stalking will send me ASAP into my Managers office with a report and a statement that this is now THIER problem, the situation is above my pay grade.

ANY solution that does not include a behaviour modification on families part is NOT acceptable, and if MY administrators treated me the way YOURS did, my resignation would have hit the desk immediately.

People DO NOT get to check thier manners at the door because they or a loved one have been admtted to a hospital. End of story. And you did not spend years of schooling to get treated like a punching bag.

[nursel56]

. . .One family stands in mind. Unions were involved, they calmed down slightly. But the staff had it on record it wasn't them, it was the family.

I tend to be more conservative politically most of the time, and there are some industries where unions have overreached, but my sense of frustration with the ridiculously lopsided power dynamics in nursing today make me almost want to grab a sash and banner and go be a public pain in the *** instead of a private one.

The post was pure sarcasm. I guess being so close to the truth, it was missed. Sorry!

Exactly! I noticed, because it tends to be rare for people of our vintage to think that way. That little bit of dry humor crept through with the -"remember it's not about you, it never will be about you, etc". Not long after I started posting someone accused me of raising my daughter wrong because she interpreted something in a weird way. Unavoidable sometimes. To the OP, it's really sad to hear what you went through. However, what I do know to be true is that the suits probably thought "problem solved" - that reflects their lack of understanding of both nurses and patients. Nothing is worse than feeling that you bust your butt in your job, and you are effectively not seen when a problem comes up. It used to be our managers would advocate for us because lack of morale is so deadly to a work environment. So "problem" solved in the very short term, maybe. Long term, no.

I do want to point out what (may be the only example of) a CEO of a healthcare corporation some years back when two companies merged, was fantastic. Yes, he happened to be an MD but he would always come around to each facility and go in the break room, and basically shoot the **** with nurses, lab techs, or anyone who wanted to talk to him. I mean even if he promptly forgot everything we said, the gesture itself was very heartening, and shows that bridges can be built between corporate and nursing if they care to do it. Too bad they don't.

[RNforLongTime]

And with administration such as described in the OP is a reason why bedside hospital nursing is such a pain it the butt!! ONLY in nursing is it acceptable to be pooped on peed on, hit, kicked, punched, spat on, had dinner trays thrown at you and called every name in the book. We are expected to just stand there and take it!

Whenever I have an irrational family member that I KNOW will cause trouble ,a he said/she said type situation, I take a witness in with me so that family member cannot lie to administration. I also document ALL words exchanged between me and said family member. If a patient or family member uses foul lanquage towards me, I document it in QUOTATIONS! If necessary I get the nursing supervisor involved.

We actually got in trouble from admin for calling security to escort unruly family members off the unit!!!