A Morbid Poll I know.

[Iam46yearsold]

Now I know this may seem rather morbid to some. It really isnt meant to be. But as nurses some of the issues we have to face are the decisions that patients and families have made for the end of their life. This is a poll of what you think best applies to your thoughts and beliefs about how you would like to see the end of your life ceremony proceed. There are many different ceremonies and I cant begin to list them all.

Would you prefer.......

1 The standard traditional funeral in this country with either a closed or open casket followed by cemetery

internment with the usual body preparation at a funeral home.

2. Cremation

3. Cremation with your ashes being made into "Reef Ball" to help rebuild coral reefs.

4. Natural or green Burial, where after a viewing if wished you are buried in green or enviromentally safe fashion.

I know this is a morbid question , but I have been researching for a while. Just out of curiosity and some decisions I have had to help patients and their families with of late.

Did you know in a study, easily found on the net. That is an average 10 acre cemetery contains enough coffin wood to construct more than 40 homes, nearly 1000 tons of casket metal and another 20,000 tons of vault concrete. Add to that enough toxic embalming fluid to fill a backyard swimming pool, a human carcinogen. I can see why they are being considered as de facto landfills of nonbiodegradable materials. Classified by the EPA as hazardous waste. All this has amazed me to no end.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

I don't think it's a morbid question at all. My kids know that I *will* come back and haunt them from the grave if they give me a religious funeral. Other than that, I don't care. I'd either like to be cremated or buried in the earth without being embalmed, in a simple biodegradable box.

What's more important to me than how my body is disposed of and the manner in which my loved ones choose to remember me, is the deathing process. I want to be on a morphine drip in a room with windows, while the Grateful Dead play. I want my favorite pillow and my favorite blanket, and for my children to hold my hand and tell me I was a good mother to them.

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

Awe...I think my pick will be "Ripple". From one Tie-Dyed soul to another. MWA!

I'm thinking Black Muddy River.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Sounds like my kind of deathbed fantasy...........only instead of the Dead, I'd have one of my self-mixed CDs playing in the background and my cats lying on the bed with me, along with my family, friends, and favorite sleepytime accessories.

Not that I want to leave the world anytime soon..........but I can't help thinking that Heaven must be a groovy place if it's better than what I've got right here!

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

I'm sure I'll be in the minority on this one, but I can't really accept that diamond jewelry that is made out of ashes. Considering that I'm open to organ donation, cremation, and donating to research, being made into jewelry should be a far more pleasant thought. It's a great metaphor for reincarnation - coming back in another form. But I just can't get over the idea that a person would "wear" something that was once another person. That thought just creeps me out.

I didn't envision anyone wearing a diamond made out of me. I just thought my diamond-self would be kept in a nice cozy little jewelry box and toted out on special occasions. I thought it'd be cool for my son to show off the diamond and say, "Meet my mom. Isn't she beautiful?" :)

I also like the locket idea. Not creepy at all to me, just another way of being close to a loved one who is gone but not forgotten. I'd have to be cremated; at this weight, carrying my casket would easily cause hernias for the pallbearers. I don't really want to be remembered that way.

Now I have to tell you about my cousin. A few years ago, she had her beloved cat cremated and flew 1500 miles to bury the cat in the family plot because it was cheaper to do that than to buy a pet cemetary plot. Never having met the feline, I thought that was a bit weird.

Not too long after that, her (8th? 5th? I lost count) husband died and so he was cremated and again she made the trip back to our hometown for services. The intent to scatter the ashes over the family plot was a good one, I'm sure, but it was quite windy that day and as she tried to gently scatter the ashes over the earth, a gust of wind whipped up and -- need I say more? -- all the mourners were covered in Ed's ashes.

With family recollections like that it's easy to see why I don't think cremation, lockets or diamonds are bad ideas. :)

[Tait, MSN, RN]

Oh I like that reef ball option. I need to look into that.

[DDRN4me]

I am also an organ donor . no uterus to worry about. ovaries never worked right so they can have em. same with the eyes. Hopefully the rest will still be up to snuff.:wink2:

My family strongly opposes cremation though that is my preference. will most likely be buried right down the street from where i am . Told kids and dh i will haunt them for eternity if they have an open casket and allow people to stare at my dead body.

I want the prayer of St. Francis sung (Make me a channel of your peace )and/or printed out ...as that is how i have tried to live my life.

[Shenanigans, RN]

I'd like to have my traditional Catholic funeral, but as for my remains, after they've scooped me out clean for organ transplant - if applicable, then drop me in a cardboard box in the ground for all I care.

My want of a cardboard box and no embalming chemicals is actually based on my cheapness and the fact I find it creepy to pump someone's blood out and fill them up with formaldahyde. Plus, I absolutely can't stand the smell of it, and as dead as I will be, don't get to thrilled about being marinated in the stuff. I"m happy to rot away in a box in the cold earth, its actually kind of a comforting thought.

[twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN]

Cremation

I have it down on paper and my husband knows about it. I want the following:

-I want to be cremated

-No one is allowed to wear black at the memorial

-scatter me over someplace beautiful

-If they need a place to memorialize me, then plant a tree and put my name on it or something nice

-with what money is left, have a party in my name

-at the party and memorial, at least one Monty Python song must be played (they can pick which one they want)

Basically don't spend a whole lot of money at my expense.

[DeadHeadRN, BSN, RN]

I saw that, but goodness sakes, I feel quite sure the hospital, the doctor and the funeral home would be quite sure you were sufficently dead prior to cremation. It is quite obvious when one is dead.

Besides if you donate your organs you be assured you'd be dead by the time you got to the crematory.

I'm just not willing to take ANY chances. I am not an organ donor, so everything will still be intact. Imagine if someone gave me hemlock or something and everyone REALLY thought I was dead because my VS were not detectable and then all of a sudden I wake up only to find I'm about to go into the fire!!! Or someone put some sort a crazy voodoo curse on me or any number of things that will never really happen, but COULD. Oh no. The chances of any of these things happening are really nonexistent, I know, but just for my own piece of mind I want embalming done first.

As for not being an organ donor, I know, I know. I have been hearing about this for years, since my aunt with polycystic kidney disease was a transplant recipient (kidney obviously)with my mom being the donor. I just cannot do it. You have no idea how many times I've tried to check that box at the DMV and on my license. My mind REALLY wants to, I just can't.

[dream'n, BSN, RN]

Recently discussed this with my DH. I know I'm strange and maybe I have some 'death issues' I need to work out. And I also know that none of it matters because I won't really be there, but the thought of any of this just freaks me out a little. I don't want to be buried in the ground, just icky with the bugs and all, yuck. Don't want to be cremated, no thanks. I decided I wanted buried at sea, just toss my whole body overboard (the fish eating me doesn't bother me for some reason)...until DH told me this was certainly illegal and we don't live anywhere near the ocean :nuke:. So we compromised...I'll be 'buried' in the wall of a mausoleum. Don't care what music is played, but my mom always has said that see wants "The Rose" played at hers. Needless to say I can't hear that song without tearing up, knowing some day I'll hear it at her funeral .

BTW, what do they do with donated ovaries? Is it for research of some type, or do these use them in infertility?

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

I also forgot, There is a company that after cremation turns your ashes into a Diamond that can be worn as jewelry. I love jewels.

That's what i tell everyone to do with me... take my ashes and make them into a nice necklace or ring. I can picture one of my grandkids having me as the rock in the center of their engagement ring. My dad always says he wants to be stuffed and kept in the broom closet then rolled out for parties.