A Morbid Poll I know.

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Now I know this may seem rather morbid to some. It really isnt meant to be. But as nurses some of the issues we have to face are the decisions that patients and families have made for the end of their life. This is a poll of what you think best applies to your thoughts and beliefs about how you would like to see the end of your life ceremony proceed. There are many different ceremonies and I cant begin to list them all.

Would you prefer.......

1 The standard traditional funeral in this country with either a closed or open casket followed by cemetery

internment with the usual body preparation at a funeral home.

2. Cremation

3. Cremation with your ashes being made into "Reef Ball" to help rebuild coral reefs.

4. Natural or green Burial, where after a viewing if wished you are buried in green or enviromentally safe fashion.

I know this is a morbid question , but I have been researching for a while. Just out of curiosity and some decisions I have had to help patients and their families with of late.

Did you know in a study, easily found on the net. That is an average 10 acre cemetery contains enough coffin wood to construct more than 40 homes, nearly 1000 tons of casket metal and another 20,000 tons of vault concrete. Add to that enough toxic embalming fluid to fill a backyard swimming pool, a human carcinogen. I can see why they are being considered as de facto landfills of nonbiodegradable materials. Classified by the EPA as hazardous waste. All this has amazed me to no end.

Specializes in LTC.
I have somewhat of a death hierarchy -

First, I want my organs donated (but not my ovaries or uterus :nono:). Then I would like to have a hole dug near a nice tree and be planted. No chemicals, no nothing. If thats not doable, I want to be donated to the body farm in TN. If they don't want me, then I guess cremation (although I'm still a bit freaked by the idea of fire :uhoh21: but I guess its better than taking up space) and dumped off somewhere I can make a difference....the compost pile, a coral reef, etc. I just ran across a website that says you can be turned into a fireworks display. Coolness. :up:

My elderly neighbor already has her obit done and wants her ashes split into two urns. Then when her husband dies she wants him to be split into those same two and then shooken up to be intermingled forever...awww!

I'm just curious why you don't want your ovaries or uterus taken....I didn't realize they could use them.

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A friend of mine recently lost her sister - the prices of burial ($2500 for a plot!) and casket (way more than that) and all the other mortuary costs . . .:nono:

I've come around to the idea of cremation - can't abide the idea of rotting in the ground. That childhood ditty "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in and our your snout. The little black bug with the beady eye, crawls in your nose and out your eye . . .":bugeyes: has always bothered me. :D

I want a funeral where they show a slideshow and people get up and say nice things about me, especially my kids:coollook: - and please play "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum. :yeah:

steph

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Specializes in NICU.
Cremation

I have it down on paper and my husband knows about it. I want the following:

-I want to be cremated

-No one is allowed to wear black at the memorial

-scatter me over someplace beautiful

-If they need a place to memorialize me, then plant a tree and put my name on it or something nice

-with what money is left, have a party in my name

-at the party and memorial, at least one Monty Python song must be played (they can pick which one they want)

Basically don't spend a whole lot of money at my expense.

Twinmommy, you've pretty much got my wishes down verbatim! I'd much rather be remembered by a tree or something beautiful and living than by a slab of granite in a place I've probably never seen before. And Monty Python is imperative (preferably Always Look on the Bright Side of Life). In fact, I'd prefer they just set my Itunes to shuffle and let it go -- there's plenty of sad stuff and religious stuff on there, but if it's only happy songs that play, well, who's to say I don't have a hand in it? :wink2:

Has anyone here read Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach? It's the book that she wrote about her extensive, if not exhaustive, research into all things death-related, and it manages somehow to be utterly respectful and thoroughly entertaining at the same time.

And a side note -- I'm happy, although not surprised, about how many folks here want to donate organs. Just make sure that you know the laws of your state, and more importantly, that your family knows that you've chosen organ donation. In some states, the family can still refuse to allow your organs to be harvested, even if you've got the note on your driver's license and everything else.

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Twinmommy, you've pretty much got my wishes down verbatim! I'd much rather be remembered by a tree or something beautiful and living than by a slab of granite in a place I've probably never seen before. And Monty Python is imperative (preferably Always Look on the Bright Side of Life). In fact, I'd prefer they just set my Itunes to shuffle and let it go -- there's plenty of sad stuff and religious stuff on there, but if it's only happy songs that play, well, who's to say I don't have a hand in it? :wink2:

Has anyone here read Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach? It's the book that she wrote about her extensive, if not exhaustive, research into all things death-related, and it manages somehow to be utterly respectful and thoroughly entertaining at the same time.

And a side note -- I'm happy, although not surprised, about how many folks here want to donate organs. Just make sure that you know the laws of your state, and more importantly, that your family knows that you've chosen organ donation. In some states, the family can still refuse to allow your organs to be harvested, even if you've got the note on your driver's license and everything else.

YES! I did read Mary Roach's book! It was great but cemented my thoughts of not being allowed to rot. :coollook:

steph

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a friend of mine recently lost her sister - the prices of burial ($2500 for a plot!) and casket (way more than that) and all the other mortuary costs . . .:nono:

i've come around to the idea of cremation - can't abide the idea of rotting in the ground. that childhood ditty "the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in and our your snout. the little black bug with the beady eye, crawls in your nose and out your eye . . .":bugeyes: has always bothered me. :D

steph

i have to agree with how expensive it is. we had a basic ceremony and cremation for my mother when she died and it was almost 2,000 dollars!!!

that childhood ditty reminds me of years ago when my brother dies and the funeral planner asked us what type of sleeve we wanted to put in the ground. there are different types??? yes, low to high dollar depending on how sealed you want them to be in the ground. we went with the cheapest of course, because i beleive once you die your spirity leaves and what is left is just your house where that spirit lived. my experience with funeral planners though has been that they really play on your guilt when trying to get you to buy items, totally ridiculous.

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I have to agree with how expensive it is. We had a basic ceremony and cremation for my mother when she died and it was almost 2,000 dollars!!!

That childhood ditty reminds me of years ago when my brother dies and the funeral planner asked us what type of sleeve we wanted to put in the ground. There are different types??? Yes, low to high dollar depending on how sealed you want them to be in the ground. We went with the cheapest of course, because I beleive once you die your spirity leaves and what is left is just your house where that spirit lived. My experience with funeral planners though has been that they really play on your guilt when trying to get you to buy items, totally ridiculous.

I forgot about the sleeve! (nice to see you posting by the way:D)

The childhood ditty . . . I looked it up and the lyrics are a bit different than I remember . . . it was your LIVER that turns a mushy green and comes out looking like whipped cream . . . . and a few other differences. I never heard the pinochle part.

Do you ever think as a heorifice goes by,

that you may be the next to die?

They wrap you up in a big white sheet

From your head down to your feet.

They put you in a big black box,

And cover you up with dirt and rocks.

All goes well for about a week,

Then your coffin begins to leak.

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,

The worms play pinochle on your snout.

They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,

They eat the jelly between your toes.

A big green worm with rolling eyes,

Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.

Your stomach turns a slimy green,

And pus pours out like whipping cream.

You spread it on a slice of bread,

And that's what you eat when you are dead.

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Specializes in SICU, Peds CVICU.

I'd like for my body to be disposed of in the greenest way possible.

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Specializes in NICU.

Do you ever think as a heorifice goes by,

that you may be the next to die?

They wrap you up in a big white sheet

From your head down to your feet.

They put you in a big black box,

And cover you up with dirt and rocks.

All goes well for about a week,

Then your coffin begins to leak.

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,

The worms play pinochle on your snout.

They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,

They eat the jelly between your toes.

A big green worm with rolling eyes,

Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.

Your stomach turns a slimy green,

And pus pours out like whipping cream.

You spread it on a slice of bread,

And that's what you eat when you are dead.

Ugh. UGH. I don't think I'd ever heard the full version...there are some things that appeal to kids that I'll never understand! :doh:

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Gross!! My seven year old would love that lyric though :-)

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I almost forgot. You can also be mummified... :D

Summum

They will even do your pets.

Imagine that. In 6000 years some academic type could dig me up and I would be put in a museum. :D

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i'd have no problem being fertilizer in anyone's garden.

i'm easy.

leslie

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

And a side note -- I'm happy, although not surprised, about how many folks here want to donate organs. Just make sure that you know the laws of your state, and more importantly, that your family knows that you've chosen organ donation. In some states, the family can still refuse to allow your organs to be harvested, even if you've got the note on your driver's license and everything else.

I second that. Not only is it on my DL, but I am also registered with the State Registry and have it on my advance directive, and I've told my kids.

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