Overbearing parent rant

Specialties School

Published

Have a kicker for you guys today! I seriously wanted to tell this woman to stop overbearing because he's going to have issues when he's older. But here we go:

We have this parent who is CONSTANTLY complaining to her child's teachers the whole year (Kinder), I never have issues with her but today her child came because he ran into the brick wall during recess and his head hurts. Did my normal check up, no bleeding or anything, ice pack asked him how he feels. I called mother, told her that her child ran into a wall during recess, he seems fine but the poor little one is saying his head hurts, but he seems fine to me. Mother gets upset and asks how ran into a wall during recess? I told her I'm not sure, I was just told he ran into a wall, but if she wants to come get him she can. She says yes and she wants to talk to someone about this! I say okay and I hang up. I get his backpack and I ask the student what happened, he's super quiet and I can't understand him when he said what happened. I ask his teacher, she said the same thing, he ran into the wall while they were chasing each other.

Okay great, mom comes in and I explain to her and she gets upset on how her child can get hurt?! We aren't taking good care of their children if this happens. I tell her I understand her concern, but to be honest they are children and a bump or bruise will happen, especially at recess, but if she's very concern on his injury she can take him to the doctor. She said she will and she's not sure she'll bring him back next year. She left all huffy.

Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

so my deep sigh / eye roll overbearing parent that we can't please of the week award goes to the mom of a child with a cardiac issue that I have a note on stating "must stay indoors if temp is above 90". Mom called me in a snit when the child came home sick after the child was allowed to play outside when it was around 85. The teacher watched the temp and made sure he was hydrated - he just happened to get strep at the same time. Yesterday the teacher and I discussed that same child needs to stay in as it is going to be 91 at recess. Mom said she was disappointed that he had to stay in. Are you kidding me? So you're going to bust my chops that he went you on an 85 degree day in the autumn because it's too hot but on a hot spring day at it's fine at 91? No ma'am, i'm not falling for it. Today she sent an email saying he can go out to play. Oh, i'll allow it - but i'm documenting everything and I do mean everything.

Specializes in school nurse.
Some kids with sensory issues seek out crash landings. It's a form of deep pressure stimulation.

My son definitely does. I have been thinking about getting him a weighted blanket. He already frequently wears a blanket around the house like a cape so I think he is seeking out that feeling of pressure.

I was actually thinking of the sheer clumsiness and lack of common sense that some of the wee ones display when out playing, but yeah, intentional stimulation is another possibility...

I was actually thinking of the sheer clumsiness and lack of common sense that some of the wee ones display when out playing, but yeah, intentional stimulation is another possibility...

I figured that's what you meant! I was thinking about it because once it pointed out to me, I saw it in my son all the time.

Specializes in School Nursing, Pediatrics.

Seriously, I have some parents this year who have told me how horrible a nurse I am because her child ONLY get lice from us at school, well maybe if you treated her she wouldn't have it! Or the parent that was mad at me for calling her H to pick up her 103 degree fever child, except she was mad because "we are breaking up and he shouldn't have her"...OK then, why doe she pick her up EVERYDAY after school anyway, but now??

Crazy people!! All have said "I am switching school" YES PLEASE DO!!!

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
Two years ago I stopped explaining disciplinary actions to parents - not my job, I'm just cleaning the kid up and making sure nothing terrible happened. Last year I stopped explaining to parents what the teacher said happened. I will of course ask the student, and then get clarification if it seems egregious, but the parent can ask the student and then I can refer the parent to the teacher for the explanation of how sweet baby got hurt. Because I wasn't there, and I'm just cleaning the kid up...

I'm actually thinking of suggesting this next year at my admin meeting because I'm tired of getting yelled at when I wasn't there during the incident and I only know what I was told. I know they want me to call when there's an incident, but some of these parents are aggressive as hell when this happens and I try to explain as nicely as possible what happened, but they seem to think yelling at me will solve things and honestly it doesn't.

Specializes in School Nursing.
so my deep sigh / eye roll overbearing parent that we can't please of the week award goes to the mom of a child with a cardiac issue that I have a note on stating "must stay indoors if temp is above 90". Mom called me in a snit when the child came home sick after the child was allowed to play outside when it was around 85. The teacher watched the temp and made sure he was hydrated - he just happened to get strep at the same time. Yesterday the teacher and I discussed that same child needs to stay in as it is going to be 91 at recess. Mom said she was disappointed that he had to stay in. Are you kidding me? So you're going to bust my chops that he went you on an 85 degree day in the autumn because it's too hot but on a hot spring day at it's fine at 91? No ma'am, i'm not falling for it. Today she sent an email saying he can go out to play. Oh, i'll allow it - but i'm documenting everything and I do mean everything.

Ugh. I had one of these this year too. Recently diagnosed with cold induced urticaria and can't be outside if the temperature is under 40 degrees. We live in Minnesota. So she stayed inside every day this winter. Except when there was field trip to the nature center across the street. According to doctor's orders she shouldn't have gone but mom got into a snit and insisted she go on the field trip. So LD can be outside for 3 hours in 30 degree weather but not for 15 minute recess? SMH

Specializes in NICU.

Overbearing parent? Have you experienced overbearing grandma?? It's a whole other level of species.

Specializes in Case Manager/Administrator.

My friend is a school teacher so she tells me to read some of your remarks (yes she follows this website, her husband is a nurse and I worked with him for a long time we became friends have known each other for decades since our children were little and she reminded me of something I said to my kids and hers (I am their God mother): Here is what I told my kids and God children when they were younger:

If you come running to me crying it better be something good like your bleeding to death, your foot is on backwards, or cannot breath...other wise suck it up and put your big panties on. Wow if I did that now I would more than likely be charged with child endangerment.

Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

Why are you people putting up walls where my child is running!?

Why didn't you take down the wall before he ran into it?

LOL. I think you handled it quite well.

Exactly... makes me hope that he doesn't come back because with a parent like that? I rather not deal with that the whole year.

I understand they get worried about their children, I have two of them myself! Mine is the same age of the student, but I taught my children not to be a cry baby to the nurse. Unless it's an emergency, don't visit the nurse, that's what I tell them. An emergency would be cuts that are really bad, vomiting, fever and bad headaches or injuries they get that the playground that they need an ice pack. If it can be fixed in the classroom, then there's no reason to visit her. So far I had only 2 calls from her! One because my boy got a injury in the playground but was fixed with an ice pack and a bandaid and the other one was my girl got sick with stomach flu and was vomiting and had to go home. That's it.

Why is it so simple for my kids, but for other parents, it's like death for them?

For starters, you are a nurse and the other Mom is probably not. So she lacks your specialized knowledge when it comes to the body.

Next, she might have an innately more "hyper" personality.

Perhaps she is just more vigilant or feels guilty about her possibly mixed feelings about her child. She probably loves him with all of her heart, but when she is tired, pulled in different directions at once, or is going a little nuts with all of the demands of modern living, she might regret having a child for whom she is responsible, might regret marrying, might regret a lot of choices.

Perhaps she is in mourning or in poor health herself.

Maybe she's enduring the rigors of peri-menopause - a very, very difficult time for so many women.

There could be personal problems, marital problems, financial problems, issues with neighbors, trouble on her job or in other areas of life. Maybe all of these factors, and probably others that don't come immediately to mind, cause her to be nervous and fearful.

Maybe she has been witness to or affected by incompetence or just the vagaries and whims of living and has become aware of just how easy it is for loved ones to be hurt or even die because of carelessness or because of just normal, everyday living.

I'm sorry that you caught the brunt of it.

Specializes in NCSN.
Overbearing parent? Have you experienced overbearing grandma?? It's a whole other level of species.

YES!! I had a student who fractured her arm in recess last week and the next day I got called by grandma who wanted to know how the little one was doing. When I said I hadn't seen her, but I could follow up with her teacher grandma got SO MAD! How could I not have followed up with her precious little flower yet?!

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
For starters, you are a nurse and the other Mom is probably not. So she lacks your specialized knowledge when it comes to the body.

Next, she might have an innately more "hyper" personality.

Perhaps she is just more vigilant or feels guilty about her possibly mixed feelings about her child. She probably loves him with all of her heart, but when she is tired, pulled in different directions at once, or is going a little nuts with all of the demands of modern living, she might regret having a child for whom she is responsible, might regret marrying, might regret a lot of choices.

Perhaps she is in mourning or in poor health herself.

Maybe she's enduring the rigors of peri-menopause - a very, very difficult time for so many women.

There could be personal problems, marital problems, financial problems, issues with neighbors, trouble on her job or in other areas of life. Maybe all of these factors, and probably others that don't come immediately to mind, cause her to be nervous and fearful.

Maybe she has been witness to or affected by incompetence or just the vagaries and whims of living and has become aware of just how easy it is for loved ones to be hurt or even die because of carelessness or because of just normal, everyday living.

I'm sorry that you caught the brunt of it.

I understand there's always something behind other people's action, but this mom has given our Kinder teachers a hell of a year this year, always complaining about something. So I'm hoping it's a legit reason why she's so mean to staff when honestly, we're just doing our job.

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