To have a baby or not to have a baby - page 2
I'm in my first semester of pre-reqs and I'm trying to figure out what I should do before I apply for nursing school. I have about a year left of pre-reqs and I haven't determined whether or not I will apply for a 2 or 4 year... Read More
- 0Nov 30, '12 by sjtrkI have 5 kids now and started on my pre req's over the past summer. I purposely waited until I was done having kids and they were all in school full time because there was no way I could attend school while they were little. Even before there were 5 lol.
If I had already been involved in college, I would have waited on more kids (I got pregnant with my oldest 4 months before I turned 18). You've already invested time and money into your education and dream and personally, adding a new baby will make it easier for you to fail out or drop out. Mine are younger, but all well old enough to know when mom needs to buckle down and study for an upcoming test. A new born (or toddler for that matter) doesn't understand that and you will be in high demand for attention for at least 2-3 years on top of tending to your first child.
It's a very personally decision however if it were me, I'd wait, my oldest and second are 4 1/2 years apart and they are bonded just the same as my 2nd and 3rd who are only 22 months apart. HTH some! GL in whatever you choose to do!
- 0Nov 30, '12 by Esme12, BSN, RN Senior ModeratorI think ask your family......you will need their help if you have small ones and go to school. I think if you don't want to have to wait with a big gap between your children have one now during your pre-reqs. You never know of you will be wait listed for school and have to wait even longer. Nursing school won't let you mkae up missed time for pregnancy.
I say have the baby now. I wish you the best!
- 0Nov 30, '12 by rubatoI guess I will be the lone voice of descent (sp?) here. I would want my kids kind of close together and I think you'd do better being in prereqs pregnant than in nursing school pregnant. I also believe that, while having 2 children is harder than having 1, it's not unbearable to be in nursing school with 2 kids. Lots of my fellow nursing students are raising multiple small children while being in school. One of my classmates even gave birth 2 weeks ago and showed up for lecture 2 days later.
- 0Nov 30, '12 by SopranoKrisIf your school offers a part-time program, you might be able to do it. Our school has a part-time RN program, but it takes 3 years to complete instead of 2. However, it allows people to continue to work or raise a family while pursuing a nursing career.
If you can't find a part-time program in your area, I would wait. It is so unbelievably hard to devote the time you need to your studies. There's immense guilt you'll feel if you can't give them your all. It puts a strain on an already stressful situation (nursing school).
- 0Nov 30, '12 by CloveryI would do it now. I have a two year old and want another and originally thought I'd become pregnant as school was wrapping up. Well I'm about to graduate, and I'm still putting the second baby off because now I'll have to take the NCLEX, then I want to celebrate after that, then I'll have to find a job, and then I will be a stressed-out first year nurse, and then and then and then. Now my goal is to have another baby before I'm 35
Of course, as others said, it depends on how much help and support you have from your family. But before even starting the nursing classes is a good time, especially if you can wait until the baby is at least 3 months old before going back to school. My son was about 9 months when I started back, and the hardest was when he started walking and climbing out of his playpen.
- 0Nov 30, '12 by StephalumpEh, I'd do it. If you're just starting prereqs then you have a long haul in front of you and it sounds like you aren't really interested in the idea of waiting until you're already an RN.
And as someone else already pointed out, much better to be pregnant in prereqs than nursing school. If you end up needing/wanting to take a semester off because of pregnancy complications or the like it would be a lot less of a big deal.
I had all three of my kids while I was in school. I wanted to be done with having kids and THEN start a career since our first was a surprise when we were really young. Might as well finish having a family and then focus on other things. I can't say it didn't pose any problems. But in the end I did make it to nursing school and I'm doing fine with 3 kids at home.
- 0Nov 30, '12 by CountryMomma, ADNI have three boys all 19 mos apart, from 7 to 3 (almost 4). My family support is pretty thin, we don't have a lot of friends who can watch my kids, and childcare is very scarce and expensive here. This makes balancing school and children quite hard for my husband and I. What are your specifics? Can you say you have a strong support network? Don't just assume grandma will watch the babies, or that your BFF won't mind watching them while you study for your exam. A lot of people find out childcare tends to thin out and disappear as the wee one gets older. They have lives too, lol.
I know that a lot of people say that children need to be close together to be good siblings, but honestly, if the children are raised in a loving, stable environment, they will love each other, and love their parents, regardless of the space between them. It also gives the parents time to reconnect as a couple before the next newborn wreaks havoc!
Being pregnant in school can be challenging. There are certain clinicals you can't attend in my program, you don't get any time off for pregnancy, and there isn't really a maternity leave. If the baby is very young, breastfeeding can be a huge challenge.
Ultimately, you will have to decided if your support network, your sanity, your checkbook and your grades can support the challenge of adding to the household.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
- 0Nov 30, '12 by mswtruthI am in a similar dilemma right now. My husband and I have a 3 year old and we want to have another child before I'm 40 (I'm 36 now) and before I start nursing school. I have 1 year of prerequisites to do before I can apply in the Spring of 2014. If accepted I won't even begin my nursing program till Fall 2014. So, we're thinking have baby #2 sometime soon and hopefully, with the right timing, by the time I start my nursing program the baby will be close to 10 months old. I can't imagine focusing on school with a newborn.
So, my advice is unless you have a lot of support from family and friends I would not get pregnant and have a small newborn while in school. You never know what your situation will be like as every newborn is different. I was confident I could manage a 50+ hour work week and parenthood. But, I found it very stressful.
I remember working full time and having a difficult time balancing work, pumping milk, nursing, waking up at odd hours of the night (My boy had chronic ear infections for several months before he got tubes put in. He had a difficult time sleeping for the first year.), battling sleep training and just managing all the stress that comes with having a newborn. I remember my supervisor had to meet with me and address the slip in my performance. he wasn't unsympathetic but made it known I had to get it together. I was a top performer but had the worst review in my career due to the responsibilities of motherhood.
You have two choices in my mind. Have the baby now, apply to schools and decide if you want to accept or not. Or go to school and get pregnant after graduation. I agree with a few others. I don't think an age gap would be that severe to the children's relationship. On the otherhand failing out of school due to the responsibilities of caring for a newborn is very severe and could affect your elligability to get into another nursing program.
But, my situation is different I'm gettong a bit older and I'm not sure if I can wait till 40+ to try and get pregnant.