To have a baby or not to have a baby

nelle0706 · Nov 29, 2012

I would wait.

AlaBro2010 · Nov 29, 2012

I would wait definitely! I couldn't imagine balancing two kids. I know some do it, but I think my grades would have definitely suffered as my one daughter (she is two now) was SO needy and attached! I had to stay up studying most days until 7am to get anything done and she wakes up at 9am. Zombie for the whole program.

stephanne · Nov 30, 2012

I'm actually debating this also. I am getting married in march and start my pre reqs in January. Originally we were going to start in April to try for a baby as I won't start nursing school until the next year. I just don't want to put my life on hold ya know? It's a hard decision!

xxkmpxx · Nov 30, 2012

I think since you are a year away it would be best to wait. I think a second child would make it twice as hard. I dont know your financial situation but I know without children myself, it's going to be financially hard anyways when our income gets cut in half once I start nursing school in jan. we would be screwed if we had kids financially while I was in school. And i know i would have way less study time. nursing school is going to be hard and i will have to make it priority 1. It sucks because my hubby is a lot older than me and pushing forty (i will be 25 when i graduate so ill be at a good age to start our family) but we decided its for the best; it will be nice to have kids while we BOTH have a steady income and can financially provide for our kids much better and give them a better life! Good luck whichever decision you choose though. Only you can decide what's best for you!

zoe92 · Nov 30, 2012

I would wait. I was considering getting married before starting nursing school (boyfriend is in the military) but I decided to wait. I just need to focus for the next couple years, get through, still be financially dependent on my parents (which I wouldn't be if I got marrid) and then get married right after I graduate. And I mean right after lol. I think waiting would be a good choice for you too so you can focus on your husband and one child and getting done with school.

calinursestudent818 · Nov 30, 2012

I worked two jobs while raising my toddler son as a single mom when I was in college and even though he was a very easy baby, it was really really really hard to get through school, I almost dropped out a few times--But not because of school issues, I liked school, it was trying to juggle it all that really made it tough to get through. I got married and I've had 2 more kids since then and know it will be even more of a challenge this time around when I go to nursing school next year but I'm ready.

If finances aren't an issue for your family living only off your hubbys income for a few years, I'd definitely say wait on the 2nd lil one. The age gap between kids may be a concern now but it'll be worth it in the end to wait. I have a boy and girl aged 8 and 5. I originally was bothered by the age gap between them because I always wanted to have my kids like 1 year apart max but now I'm actually glad I have the 3 year gap between them. My eldest is really good and patient with his little sister, they are best friends, they watch out for each other and get along very well. Of course that's now...the teen years may turn into a different story lol

So my vote is push through nursing school first, just really concentrate on that and then work on 2nd baby when you're done or when you are a few months from finishing nursing school start trying :)

Mewsin · Nov 30, 2012

Ugh it is so hard when you're talking about the second one. I already have 4 from a previous relationship(they are all 2 years apart of less) but I'm getting married this year and if we decide to have children, we are waiting until I'm done school. My issue would be, if I have one I will want two, closely spaced. So, if we decide to have kids, it will be after school and after 600hrs of work (so I can get maternity leave for the year, lol)

Good luck with your decision.

meeep, BSN, RN · Nov 30, 2012

I'm actually debating this also. I am getting married in march and start my pre reqs in January. Originally we were going to start in April to try for a baby as I won't start nursing school until the next year. I just don't want to put my life on hold ya know? It's a hard decision!

Wow, that's fast! Enjoy some time as husband and wife, you won't get that precious time back for 18 years once you have kids!

stephanne · Nov 30, 2012

We've been together 7 years and he's 5 years older than me, so that's why.

sjtrk · Nov 30, 2012

I have 5 kids now and started on my pre req's over the past summer. I purposely waited until I was done having kids and they were all in school full time because there was no way I could attend school while they were little. Even before there were 5 lol.

If I had already been involved in college, I would have waited on more kids (I got pregnant with my oldest 4 months before I turned 18). You've already invested time and money into your education and dream and personally, adding a new baby will make it easier for you to fail out or drop out. Mine are younger, but all well old enough to know when mom needs to buckle down and study for an upcoming test. A new born (or toddler for that matter) doesn't understand that and you will be in high demand for attention for at least 2-3 years on top of tending to your first child.

It's a very personally decision however if it were me, I'd wait, my oldest and second are 4 1/2 years apart and they are bonded just the same as my 2nd and 3rd who are only 22 months apart. HTH some! GL in whatever you choose to do!

meeep, BSN, RN · Nov 30, 2012

My fiancé and I were together 5+ before getting married. It's just not the same IMO. Men aren't really limited by age, no reason to rush especially since you have school. You should do what works best for you, of course. I wish you luck, it's a tough call to make.