Your Favorite one liner used with patients - page 4
by scaredofshots | 141,329 Views | 296 Comments
I am a student and I use humor to get me through clinicals. Once I told a patient "This is my first time giving an injection on a real live person." At the time it was very funny! The look on his face and my instructors was... Read More
- 4Oct 28, '06 by glea1022Too many to just choose a favorite (of course, all used judiciously)...
"I practiced on my cat last night." (prior to any procedure)
"We drive like drunks on payday" (when transporting a patient by stretcher with another cath lab crew member)
"Don't worry, all bleeding eventually stops."
"I promise I won't drop you. Too much paperwork." (best when turning a patient. If said on Monday, can add "heck of a way to start the week". If said on Friday, "heck of a way to end the week")
"It's cold in here, but at least it keeps the beer cold." (hey, the cath lab is a COLD room!)
"This procedure is totally painless, especially if the crew gets some chocolate chip cookies afterwards."
(ooohhh, we are soooooooo bad)
- 3Oct 30, '06 by HoosiER RNwas getting ready to start an iv on pt with n/v/d x 3 days, told him I would draw his blood at the same time. the pt chimed in with "all with one little prick" I automatically said "what did you call me " after uncomfortable second pt and his wife started laughing and wife said it was first time pt laughed in the 3 days whew!
- 1Oct 30, '06 by EraQuote from scaredofshotsI am a student and I use humor to get me through clinicals. Once I told a patient "This is my first time giving an injection on a real live person." At the time it was very funny! The look on his face and my instructors was priceless!! I was curious what other things people have said or say to patients to break the ice. :spin:
enguin: Good for you! Nurses without a good sense of humour are usually quite scary to me. When I was on my final placement as a student nurse ( donkey's years ago! ), I worked with this fantastic and very comical Nurse and it made such a difference to the whole working environment. Nice for other nurses and more importantly, to the patients. Laughter is such a good therapy that requires no prescription.
I usually say to patients;
* This won't hurt..... ME much! I say this when I have to do anything uncomfortable.
* Don't worry, I'll leave you some left.... when I'm extracting blood.
* Don't worry.... it's music to our ears... when patient's get embarrassed after passing wind.
- 2Oct 30, '06 by Starfirei love this thread... :lol:
i never say one-liners to people... i'm kinda scared about how the patients would react to it...
but i do know some other people who drop funny one-liners... the one i like the most is when they say to little children:
"awww... don't worry, it'll grow back... eventually... probably..."
- 0Oct 30, '06 by VictoriakemI like to tell my patients that what we are doing to them, IV, pacer pads, etc won't hurt us a bit & if they complain we are taking too much blood for lab draws, I ask them, "Don't be so stingy!" And doing the OR consent questionaire I like to ask men patients if they could be pregnant. And when asked how long they will be in the ED with test results, etc. I tell them 3 days, at least.:spin:
- 0Oct 31, '06 by psalm...when I am getting a blood sugar I will ask "which finger should I use, as long as it isn't mine?" and that usually gets a smile.
...in a semi-private room after the PM assessment, I will tell the pts. as I leave, "now no pillow fights".
..."don't go away, I'll be right back" to the pt. who is immobilized but in a good frame of mind and good mood.