Your Favorite one liner used with patients

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I am a student and I use humor to get me through clinicals. Once I told a patient "This is my first time giving an injection on a real live person." At the time it was very funny! The look on his face and my instructors was priceless!! I was curious what other things people have said or say to patients to break the ice.

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And last week I had a mom give birth for the first time. We got along right away. She simply held her breath for a second and smiled. Out popped baby.

I told her that some men show more facial expression while going to the bathroom.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, ER.

HAHAHAHAHA That was so funny I just woke up the kids!! These are great! I am glad that I am not the only one with a funny bone!:lol_hitti

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At my former job when I took blood from our adolescent patients, they would sometimes give me a hard time or try to talk me out of it. I just told them that their behaviour was making my hand very shaky and they would have to be quiet to stop the shakes.

The boys would often wear their pants in the style where they are hanging half off their butts. Whatever minor complaint they came in for (usually a headache or cold symptoms--this was in a school) I would just say that its caused by wearing their pants too low. They would pull up their pants with a look of disbelief and then we'd all chuckle (including the patient!)

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Specializes in OB, ortho/neuro, home care, office.

I've said to a patient once while starting an IV on an easy as cake vein - if I miss you get to practice on me ;) Course I didn't miss - in fact he was so scared and so focused on me talking to him about letting him stick me that he never even felt the poke I was taping it up when he realized it was done.

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Specializes in Case Management, Home Health, UM.

"What can I do to you, today?" That always gets a smile.

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

I get a lot of people who say "I hate being in hospitals!" I tell them "well they have to PAY ME to be here".

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When I discharge postpartum moms and babies...As Dad is opening car door for mom, I say "So, I'll see you guys back in about a year?" Some of the dads get a little bug-eyed thinking about that...

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Specializes in ED tech on a resp. therapist adventure.

I like to ask the LOL's as I take their urine for testing, "Do I need to test to see if you are pregnant??" Makes them laugh every time.

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Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Hospice,IV Therapy.

There was a patient that was going to be discharged and I was at the nurse's station so he came over and said "excuse me, could you call me an escort?". So I looked at him and said"okay, you're an escort". We both burst out laughing!!:chuckle :chuckle

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Specializes in LDRP.

once was checking blood with another nurse, in the patients room. got to the part where i was supposed to read off the expiration date-i said "well it expired yesterday, but i bet its still good. just like day old milk!"

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Specializes in Peds Cardiology,Peds Neuro,Pedi ER,PICU, IV Jedi.

"hi, my name is john and i'm not your nurse, but i play one on tv."

that gets a chuckle out of the parents...

vamedic4

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I'm a Missouri girl studying in Texas. Many of my patients will tell me I don't sound like I'm from around here. I smile and say, "Am I using too many syllables?"

:yeah:

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