Stupid things that nurses say

  1. 28 I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.

    Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.

    Patient: "This taste horrible"
    Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks"
    Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"
    Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)

    Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.
    I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!
    Last edit by Joe V on Jun 11, '12 : Reason: spacing
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  3. Visit  OnlybyHisgraceRN profile page

    About OnlybyHisgraceRN

    OnlybyHisgraceRN has '3 years CNA, 2.5 Years LPN, New grad RN' year(s) of experience and specializes in 'LTC and School Health'. From 'US'; Joined Mar '12; Posts: 754; Likes: 1,372.

    141 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  roser13 profile page
    36
    Me: Your daughter can wait here in the lobby while we do a quick health history, then we'll bring her back to your room.Patient: that's not my daughter, that's my wife.
    SuzieeQ, julianne.00, Yownyown, and 33 others like this.
  5. Visit  VivaLasViejas profile page
    29
    Oh, I wouldn't say that was the most stupid thing ever......lots of nurses let things slip past their filters that are downright offensive.

    Of course, I would never say anything like this to a patient's granddaughter:

    DGD to nurse: "Grandpa's not doing very well tonight. His doctors told me he's at death's door."
    Nurse: "I'm sure sorry. Hope they can pull him through."

  6. Visit  nursel56 profile page
    32
    Ahhh, well I don't think that's too bad. Once I was pushing a non-ambulatory pt in her wheelchair, down a slight ramp - I don't know where it came from, but I heard my own voice saying, "wheeeeeeeee!" The lady was in her mid-50s. I got a real good "withering look" out of that one.
    cocoa_puff, SuzieeQ, Fox_RuN, and 29 others like this.
  7. Visit  Esme12 profile page
    21
    I would.....about every two years be stupid enough to ask,

    When are you due? They weren't pregnant.
  8. Visit  sauconyrunner profile page
    11
    When I was at the bedside, about every 4 months I would forget and refer to a persons visitor as who they appeared to be...ie

    Me: lets let your Dad step out while we..."
    Pt, "Thats not my Dad, thats my BF!!!!"

    or

    Me: "Your Wife can sign for you"
    Pt, "My wife is here, uhoh, this is my GF"
  9. Visit  DolceVita profile page
    19
    I confess...I mistook a female partner for a boyfriend. They took it much better than I. Her name was Gene but it was, In fact, Jean.

    Sent from my iPad using allnurses.com
  10. Visit  Hygiene Queen profile page
    23
    Quote from VivaLasViejas
    DGD to nurse: "Grandpa's not doing very well tonight. His doctors told me he's at death's door."
    Nurse: "I'm sure sorry. Hope they can pull him through."
    Booooooooo!



    (Yes, it took me a moment for it to click.)

    ********************************************
    Okay, here is a bad one I did.

    It was a spoonerism.

    (I think I posted it here on AN a couple years ago, but I'll toss it out there again.)

    Anyway...

    We were passing out the dinners to the residents in the dining room.
    The kitchen was serving pork chops.
    Well, the pork chops tended to be rather tough and dry, but lo-and-behold!
    It just so happened that on this particular night, the pork chops were actually juicy and tender.

    For some reason, I was really really excited by this and I exclaim... rather loudly... for my hard-of-hearing resident,

    "Ooooh! Look, Loretta!
    They porked the cook good!"




    Now, you tell me how that goes over when your co-workers are all a bunch silly young girls and two saucy young fellas...
    Oh, and of course, there's family in there too.

    I didn't live that one down for a long time!
    RN Buzz, JKindRN, Yownyown, and 20 others like this.
  11. Visit  AssociateDegree profile page
    2
    The dumbest thing I hear nurses say is "(the patient is) voiding q shift." Really? The patient voids every 8 hours? Many nurses don't understand the difference between "q shift" and "qs" (quantity sufficient).
    SE_BSN_RN and OnlybyHisgraceRN like this.
  12. Visit  BostonTerrierLoverRN profile page
    0
    ha ha hahaha
  13. Visit  kmarie724 profile page
    14
    I work with dementia pts and I have young children at home and in a lot of ways taking care of children and dementia pts is similar (as in they both need lots of cues/assistance with ADLs). So I often find myself saying things to my pts that I would say to my children like "No, no, don't put that in your mouth, it's icky!" and "Do you need to go potty?"
  14. Visit  canesdukegirl profile page
    12
    Scenario: Introduced myself to a pt in the pre-op holding area. Proceeded to do all the checks-consents, labs, ID band checks, interview, etc. I was very professional and to the point. There was an older man with my 26 yo pt (you MUST know where this is going), and instead of asking what his relationship was with the pt (ok, it WAS on a Monday...synapses had yet to fire), I stupidly asked the pt if it was ok if I updated her Dad while she was in surgery. Both of them broke up into laughter as I stood there completely embarrassed, feeling my face get hot with the realization that the man was her HUSBAND...not her father. Thank goodness they were both good natured and forgave me for my faux pas.

    I couldn't help but share a story with them. My MIL was visiting for a week, and we went out to a restaurant one Friday night. The waiter asked if my husband and his mother were celebrating anything. They looked at each other with confusion, so the waiter asked if they were celebrating an anniversary, or if they were celebrating some milestone with their daughter. I haven't let my husband live that one down FOR ONE MINUTE! My MIL looks amazingly young at 68, and my DH looks amazingly old at 48 because he simply refuses to wear sunblock when we are out on the boat, and it has aged him far beyond his years.

    You can't always know where your pt's are in their lives. What may be casually calming (like what you stated with the margaritas) may strike a pt as odd, although your intentions were good-you were trying to make a bad experience for her more acceptable by saying what you did. You were trying to break the ice (forgive the pun). I do that ALL the time. When my pts have had 2mg of Versed prior to arriving in the OR, I ask them jokingly if the bartender in pre-op served up good martinis. 9 out of 10 times, the pts laugh and say that they are in love with the bartender. That ONE person is either too sedated to respond, or not sedated enough while cursing us out for doing surgery without sedation (yeah, these are typically trauma pts who are on something, and after 4 mg of Versed, they are still ranting).

    I love to hear about nursing bloopers. It makes me feel like I am not the only social klutz in the world!
  15. Visit  DizzyLizzyNurse profile page
    13
    Quote from Hygiene Queen

    We were passing out the dinners to the residents in the dining room.
    The kitchen was serving pork chops.
    Well, the pork chops tended to be rather tough and dry, but lo-and-behold!
    It just so happened that on this particular night, the pork chops were actually juicy and tender.

    For some reason, I was really really excited by this and I exclaim... rather loudly... for my hard-of-hearing resident,

    "Ooooh! Look, Loretta!
    They porked the cook good!"




    Now, you tell me how that goes over when your co-workers are all a bunch silly young girls and two saucy young fellas...
    Oh, and of course, there's family in there too.

    I didn't live that one down for a long time!
    That made me laugh so hard my dog is looking at me like I'm crazy. I can't stop giggling.

    Quote from AssociateDegree
    The dumbest thing I hear nurses say is "(the patient is) voiding q shift." Really? The patient voids every 8 hours? Many nurses don't understand the difference between "q shift" and "qs" (quantity sufficient).
    I was taught in school and by my jobs that qs = every shift. That would mean to me that the pt voided at least once a shift at some point during the shift. Q8h is every 8 hours. And I work 12 hour shifts so qs is at least once during the 12 hours.

    The stupidest thing I can think of that I've done recently was when I was taking care of a grouchy male pt. He had a feeding tube and was on a vent. Well, I'd be cranky too. But I was trying to cheer him up. So I said to this poor guy, "Oh come on cheer up! It's almost supper time and we're having burgers!" Yes, to this poor man with a feeding tube!!!! It hit me as soon as the words were out of my mouth....and I didn't know what to say so I just kinda mumbled, "Sorry." And then, "I'll go get your meds!" And ran outta the room. But if looks could kill, I'd be one dead nurse lol.
    R!XTER, Artistyc1, Whispera, and 10 others like this.

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