Published
I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.
Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.
Patient: "This taste horrible"
Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks";)
Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"
Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)
Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.
I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!
:thankya:
Oh, I wouldn't say that was the most stupid thing ever......lots of nurses let things slip past their filters that are downright offensive.Of course, I would never say anything like this to a patient's granddaughter:
DGD to nurse: "Grandpa's not doing very well tonight. His doctors told me he's at death's door."
Nurse: "I'm sure sorry. Hope they can pull him through."
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: now THAT sounds like something I would say!!!
I can't think of too many terrible things I have said. I think that means there were too many to note.
I have been out to much with my son and had the waitress talk to us as if we were married. We were all embarrassed.
I have found myself babysitting and talking to the child as if it were my dog.
"Leave it" my dog understands. Great command. My dog will drop anything when I say that. The child not so much. I think I even once asked him to "sit". Good think I caught it before I got to down, stay, and roll over.
As a 18 year old patient care tech on a rehab floor-Me, bending down to look under hospital bed "Where's your other shoe?"
Patient: "I only have one leg!"
:uhoh21:
I was a brand spanking new 19 year old CNA still training on my floor. A resident went out and had her leg amputated. She came back and the nurses and CNAs were doing the admission stuff. The CNA I was training with was getting her weight. No one could understand why she had lost all this weight at the hospital. I didn't want to be a smart @$$ so I was standing in the corner keeping my mouth shut while they reweighed her. Finally I spoke up and said, "Um, how much does a leg weigh?"
I had worried they'd be mad, but they laughed and laughed (as did the resident ). I worked there for 10 years and left after I got my RN, but the CNA I trained with was still there and would tell the story to new CNAs every once in a while lol.
Thanks guys for posting. I know I'm not the only one. I have another funny for you all.
Last week I offered a nurse and a doctor a mint. The nurse accepted the mint, the doctor stated " no thanks" .
Me: " It is always the people who really need a mint that refuses"
I honestly made a general statement, but since the doc refused a mint, I hope she didn't think it was directed towards her.
I'm sure her breath smells fine.
Not nursing but...
Lady: OH IT HURTS SO BAD I CAN'T EVEN LOOK! MY ANKLE!
I expose her ankle which is the most gloriously dislocated ankle fracture I've ever seen. (angulated 30deg and heavily translated ~3" anterior... it was unreal) I hear myself let out a whistle like a cat-call.
Lady: DON'T WHISTLE AT IT! OH GOD HOW BAD IS IT THAT YOU WHISTLED AT IT!
Me: Uh... we will take great care of you and get you down off of here.
Lady: OH NO IT MUST BE AWFUL!
Me: Uh... would you like some pain meds?
Lady: *Glares* YES!!!!!!!!!!!! $#*&@$!!!!
Short version of my story is I accidentally told a pt I did not want her "to go down on me" when I really meant fall down on the floor. Oh I was dying trying to get out of that room I was so embarassed.
Too funny!!!!
I have another one: When I was in my mother/baby rotation I had to assess a women postpartum. This was my first assessment so ofcourse my CI was watching me like a hawk.
I start with the head and so on so fourth.
My CI then prompts me to assess her breast.
I look unhook the gown to assess the womens' breast and they are HUGE then I loudly say: " Oh, wow... they are engorged!!!!!"
DizzyLizzyNurse
1,024 Posts
That made me laugh so hard my dog is looking at me like I'm crazy. :rotfl: I can't stop giggling.
I was taught in school and by my jobs that qs = every shift. That would mean to me that the pt voided at least once a shift at some point during the shift. Q8h is every 8 hours. And I work 12 hour shifts so qs is at least once during the 12 hours.
The stupidest thing I can think of that I've done recently was when I was taking care of a grouchy male pt. He had a feeding tube and was on a vent. Well, I'd be cranky too. But I was trying to cheer him up. So I said to this poor guy, "Oh come on cheer up! It's almost supper time and we're having burgers!" Yes, to this poor man with a feeding tube!!!! It hit me as soon as the words were out of my mouth....and I didn't know what to say so I just kinda mumbled, "Sorry." And then, "I'll go get your meds!" And ran outta the room. But if looks could kill, I'd be one dead nurse lol.