Stupid things that nurses say

  1. 28
    I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.

    Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.

    Patient: "This taste horrible"
    Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks"
    Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"
    Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)

    Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.
    I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!
    Last edit by Joe V on Jun 11, '12 : Reason: spacing
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  3. 141 Comments so far...

  4. 36
    Me: Your daughter can wait here in the lobby while we do a quick health history, then we'll bring her back to your room.Patient: that's not my daughter, that's my wife.
    SuzieeQ, julianne.00, Yownyown, and 33 others like this.
  5. 29
    Oh, I wouldn't say that was the most stupid thing ever......lots of nurses let things slip past their filters that are downright offensive.

    Of course, I would never say anything like this to a patient's granddaughter:

    DGD to nurse: "Grandpa's not doing very well tonight. His doctors told me he's at death's door."
    Nurse: "I'm sure sorry. Hope they can pull him through."

  6. 31
    Ahhh, well I don't think that's too bad. Once I was pushing a non-ambulatory pt in her wheelchair, down a slight ramp - I don't know where it came from, but I heard my own voice saying, "wheeeeeeeee!" The lady was in her mid-50s. I got a real good "withering look" out of that one.
    SuzieeQ, Fox_RuN, Yownyown, and 28 others like this.
  7. 20
    I would.....about every two years be stupid enough to ask,

    When are you due? They weren't pregnant.
  8. 11
    When I was at the bedside, about every 4 months I would forget and refer to a persons visitor as who they appeared to be...ie

    Me: lets let your Dad step out while we..."
    Pt, "Thats not my Dad, thats my BF!!!!"

    or

    Me: "Your Wife can sign for you"
    Pt, "My wife is here, uhoh, this is my GF"
  9. 19
    I confess...I mistook a female partner for a boyfriend. They took it much better than I. Her name was Gene but it was, In fact, Jean.

    Sent from my iPad using allnurses.com
  10. 23
    Quote from VivaLasViejas
    DGD to nurse: "Grandpa's not doing very well tonight. His doctors told me he's at death's door."
    Nurse: "I'm sure sorry. Hope they can pull him through."
    Booooooooo!



    (Yes, it took me a moment for it to click.)

    ********************************************
    Okay, here is a bad one I did.

    It was a spoonerism.

    (I think I posted it here on AN a couple years ago, but I'll toss it out there again.)

    Anyway...

    We were passing out the dinners to the residents in the dining room.
    The kitchen was serving pork chops.
    Well, the pork chops tended to be rather tough and dry, but lo-and-behold!
    It just so happened that on this particular night, the pork chops were actually juicy and tender.

    For some reason, I was really really excited by this and I exclaim... rather loudly... for my hard-of-hearing resident,

    "Ooooh! Look, Loretta!
    They porked the cook good!"




    Now, you tell me how that goes over when your co-workers are all a bunch silly young girls and two saucy young fellas...
    Oh, and of course, there's family in there too.

    I didn't live that one down for a long time!
    RN Buzz, JKindRN, Yownyown, and 20 others like this.
  11. 2
    The dumbest thing I hear nurses say is "(the patient is) voiding q shift." Really? The patient voids every 8 hours? Many nurses don't understand the difference between "q shift" and "qs" (quantity sufficient).
    SE_BSN_RN and OnlybyHisgraceRN like this.
  12. 0
    ha ha hahaha


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