Stamp out Gossip today

by madwife2002 6,137 Views | 31 Comments Senior Moderator

I believe that gossiping is the route to all evil! I believe we all have a part to play within the work place to stop gossip in its tracks. We can all be the gossiper and we can be the person gossiped about. We need to take action now and STOP it, before somebody somewhere is hurt very badly

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    Stamp out Gossip today

    Discrimination, sexism and bullying in the work place appear to be on the increase which concerns me a great deal. It comes under many guises and is not always easy to see. It is like a virus and it multiplies and gets out of control before you notice what it is.

    I feel very passionate about a person being discriminated against for one reason or another. Some discrimination is subtle and some is in your face.

    It all starts off with Gossip!

    What starts off with one person complaining about another person soon turns into a witch hunt if it is not stopped in its tracks.

    So how does it begin, simple enough one staff member for one reason or another doesn't like their co-worker. They talk to one person discussing the problems they have with the other person. That co-worker goes on break with somebody else, tells that person what the other person said, now we have three people discussing it before long it multiplies and the whole unit is involved one way or another.

    So the hot topic of conversation is about one person, who is not part of this ‘conversation’, the initial conversation has progressed, often exaggerated, and now has a life of its own.

    The staff becomes more aware of their co-worker, if this person then does something or says something, no matter how small this is the proof they needed to confirm what the first person had said all along!

    This is then relayed back to the person who started the gossip in the first place and a vicious circle begins

    Gossip is the route of all evil, I firmly believe if you are in a break room and you hear co-workers talk in any way about another co-worker then you are as guilty as the person who is doing the gossiping.

    Why? Because you have a choice, you can ask them to stop or you can leave the room.

    If the gossiper has nobody to listen to their evil, then it dies on the spot. By listening you are giving the gossip a life. By not asking the other person to stop discussing somebody else, you are giving them permission to carry on.

    Gossip really hurts!

    By the time the person you are discussing finds out about what is being said, the damage to that person is done.

    As a manager I have seen both sides and neither side is pretty.

    I experienced a valuable experienced member of staff been reduced to tears, self-doubt and distress almost beyond repair because of malicious gossip.

    Alienated because of your sexuality is just unacceptable, jokes about a person’s sex life, choice of partner and discussion of somebodies home life is just abhorrent.

    What might seem like a funny joke to you, when repeated back to that person burns into their soul!

    I have supported staff that has been discriminated against for one reason or another; all suffer the same end outcome

    Distress
    Loss of self-worth
    Loss of respect
    Feel devalued
    Hurt
    Alienation
    Trust issues

    The list is endless of the damage we can do to somebody, not one of us is exempt from being bullied, discriminated or alienated from our co-workers.

    So STOP before you listen to a conversation about somebody else.

    Refuse to have anybody else discussed in a room where you are

    Kill the conversation dead, and hopefully the person who is gossiping will think twice about their behavior.

    It is within YOUR control, stop it early, stamp it dead, do your part to stop bullying and discrimination now
    Last edit by Joe V on Dec 1, '12
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  3. About madwife2002

    madwife2002 joined Jan '05 - from 'Ohio'. madwife2002 has '24' year(s) of experience and specializes in 'RN, RM, BSN'. Posts: 9,479 Likes: 5,212; Learn more about madwife2002 by visiting their allnursesPage


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    31 Comments so far...

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    Thank you for this wonderful and timely reminder to stop the gossip and backbiting, Madwife. Gossip is like a poison that can slowly make every individual in the organization sick. It causes some people's spirits to wither away.

    Change starts with us. We cannot expect respect until we respect ourselves first.
    BabyRN2Be, samadams8, audacia, and 6 others like this.
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    Some people thrive on gossip. They love making others feel as bad about themselves as they do. I especially dislike the way I see some nurses demean other nurses.

    Whether it's talk about their work performace, their personal life, or any of the other countless things you can be targeted for. It really just creates a toxic work enironment. I worked with a charge nurse who made it her mission in life to demean certain nurses. If you didn't participate/agree, you were on her list. Sometimes I felt like I was back in highschool. As you can imagine, I didn't last very long with that organization.
    BabyRN2Be, cp1024, and nguyency77 like this.
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    Quote from madwife2002
    It is within YOUR control, stop it early, stamp it dead, do your part to stop bullying and discrimination now
    This.

    madwife2002 likes this.
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    Gossip destroys relationships, and is why I stay in my apt and away from the gossips.
    madwife2002 likes this.
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    Always be aware of whos around you, and how they might interpret what you say. I've posted this little poem a few times already on other threads, but I like it so much I'll post it again here:

    If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:
    TO whom you speak
    OF whom you speak
    And HOW and WHEN and WHERE.
    BabyRN2Be, anotherone, nightnurse28, and 5 others like this.
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    well said!
    BabyRN2Be, madwife2002, and TheCommuter like this.
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    I was thinking about this recently and wondered how nurses are supposed to go about this especially when it seems like many nurses do this in the workplace. I feel like others will join just to go along with it to feel accepted or because there a BIG personalities out there and people that tend to follow their voices like shadows. What is the right approach? This is also considered lateral violence. If you stop a conversation, won't others target you as well?
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    Yeah, I have to admit I'm not going to really put myself on the line by actually confronting the gossipers around me. I'll stay out of it and ignore it. At most, I might grunt with indifference or try to change the subject. I feel like if I were to try to tell the gossipers to stop, I would just run the risk of getting tangled in some drama.
    cp1024 and anotherone like this.
  12. 2
    As a new grad I really rely on the nuturing environment that we as nurses are supposed to create. I had that in school and with all the stress we have in nursing I hope I can expect good things from my co-workers. I was recently told that when a nurse 'stops asking questions' that's when she becomes a bad nurse.

    I can't ask questions of people who emanate tension. Please for the patients sake and for mine can we show a little nuturance for each other. I bruise easy, be nice. Sometimes people bruise just listening to others bashed. Makes me feel unsafe. Thanks to all the nurses who make me feel safe. Anxiety sucks. It kills braincells--I need mine.
    samadams8 and madwife2002 like this.


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