Gay male nurse concern about male patient care - page 2

by Devon Rex 15,131 Views | 45 Comments

Hello everyone! I will be joining the nursing workforce in a couple of months specializing in urological needs (I am not going into med/surg). As a gay male, I am concerned that some male patients will react adversely when... Read More


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    Thanks for your responses thus far! I'm not flamboyant, but some people are able to tell without asking. I am respectful, very discreet, and have been very professional my whole life. I have a few straight male friends who used to be homophobes and I've earned their respect.

    I feel more confident now after reading your comments. Thanks !!
    Jordan100 likes this.
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    Honestly who cares? If you are a professional and are a caring person-why do I care what your sexuality is? Plus if a patient asks you...you tell them you do not discuss your personal life.

    As long as you act professional and do a good job..that's all people usually want.



    Someone's sexuality is PART of a person not the focus of a person.
    andrewschultz and bebbercorn like this.
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    I'm not a guy but I still want to welcome you to the ranks. I'm not sure how your patients may know or suspect you are gay, but from experience I would say to relax and be yourself. If anyone asks you point-blank you can deflect the reply or be honest if the person is just curious, but it really isn't any of their business. Best wishes to you.
    Devon Rex likes this.
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    Quote from Devon Rex
    Hello everyone!

    I will be joining the nursing workforce in a couple of months specializing in urological needs (I am not going into med/surg). As a gay male, I am concerned that some male patients will react adversely when they suspect or realize that I am gay. I understand many patients will not care and will understand that I am there to help them and it is not some sick joke. This is particularly personal for the patient given the specialty (Urology).

    I would like to know how other male nurses have handled situations where a straight male patient has refused or made it very uncomfortable for you to do your job. I do not expect the approval of every patient… just looking for pointers on how to manage this type of situation in a professional manner.

    Everyone, please tell me what you think or would do. Thank you!
    All patients are different. Some male patients don't want a female patient, others don't want a male. Some don't want a gay nurse, some may want a gay nurse.

    It is impossible to tell and not under your control. I've had patients assume I was gay and start asking probing questions, "What does your wife do?...How many kids do you have?.." I'm straight with no wife or kids so sometimes the patients have a difficult time sussing me out. That's really on them.

    It doesn't bother me at all, I just do my job the best I can and move on. I can't fix patients' hangups about male nurses, so I don't even try.
    superchungus, elkpark, and Devon Rex like this.
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    Quote from Devon Rex
    Thanks for your responses thus far! I'm not flamboyant, but some people are able to tell without asking. I am respectful, very discreet, and have been very professional my whole life. I have a few straight male friends who used to be homophobes and I've earned their respect.!!
    I've been a nurse >25 years. I'm sure some have wondered about my sexual preference, and while occasionally a few have asked if I was married, or had kids, no one ever out right asked; nor have I ever experienced any refusals or hostility.

    Don't lose any sleep over it
    andrewschultz and Devon Rex like this.
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    Quote from tomc5555
    Be professional and do a great job. Thats all anyone can expect or want from a nurse.
    The rest is none of the patients business.
    ^This!
    Devon Rex likes this.
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    I'll bet your fears will be unconfirmed. You are a professional and i suspect you will act that way, even if you happen to be effeminate. I have never had any concerns because although you can usually tell that I am gay, when I'm with a patient I ensure the focus stays on the patient. Don't be fake, it will show. Just be natural but professional. Again, I seriously doubt you will have trouble.
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    Quote from MrChicagoRN
    I've been a nurse >25 years. I'm sure some have wondered about my sexual preference, and while occasionally a few have asked if I was married, or had kids, no one ever out right asked; nor have I ever experienced any refusals or hostility.

    Don't lose any sleep over it
    Just curious, if your patient asks if you're married, and you have a long-term partner, do you just tell the patient that you have a partner?
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    I say just be professional. Gay men don't have a problem with me caring for them ( and I've given showers, cath care, wiped bums etc). So in my opinion why should a straight man care if they're being cared for by a gay man. Besides its none of their beezwax if you're gay. Just be professional and if someone has an issue switch patients. I am willing to bet it won't be that often. Also you'll only have these patients for a short time not likely they'll say much, different if you had them for a week in a hospital setting. Good luck!

    "No day but today"
    Devon Rex likes this.
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    Quote from umbdude
    Just curious, if your patient asks if you're married, and you have a long-term partner, do you just tell the patient that you have a partner?
    Many people, gay or straight, consider themselves married, whether they have a piece of paper or not.
    Caribbean Character and KelRN215 like this.


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