Gay male nurse concern about male patient care

Nursing Students Male Students

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Hello everyone!

I will be joining the nursing workforce in a couple of months specializing in urological needs (I am not going into med/surg). As a gay male, I am concerned that some male patients will react adversely when they suspect or realize that I am gay. I understand many patients will not care and will understand that I am there to help them and it is not some sick joke. This is particularly personal for the patient given the specialty (Urology).

I would like to know how other male nurses have handled situations where a straight male patient has refused or made it very uncomfortable for you to do your job. I do not expect the approval of every patient... just looking for pointers on how to manage this type of situation in a professional manner.

Everyone, please tell me what you think or would do. Thank you!

Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
Hello everyone!

I will be joining the nursing workforce in a couple of months specializing in urological needs (I am not going into med/surg). As a gay male, I am concerned that some male patients will react adversely when they suspect or realize that I am gay. I understand many patients will not care and will understand that I am there to help them and it is not some sick joke. This is particularly personal for the patient given the specialty (Urology).

I would like to know how other male nurses have handled situations where a straight male patient has refused or made it very uncomfortable for you to do your job. I do not expect the approval of every patient... just looking for pointers on how to manage this type of situation in a professional manner.

Everyone, please tell me what you think or would do. Thank you!

*** What are you going to do, wear an I'M GAY t shirt? How would a patient become aware you are a homosexual?

Be professional and do a great job. Thats all anyone can expect or want from a nurse.

The rest is none of the patients business.

Right. What about straight male nurses being uncomfortable around gay male patients,

or gay male patients being uncomfortable around straight male nurses.

Never hear about doctors worried about their patients sexuality.

Specializes in Medical Surgical/Addiction/Mental Health.
I'm straight, but if you have that gay voice and are all flamboyant about your gayness it would make me uncomfortable. I really have no issues with women, but I don't act weird either.

This is funny! Words escape my mind to even respond.

Specializes in Medical Surgical/Addiction/Mental Health.

I work in addictions and have to conduct physical assessments that require the guys to take off their pants and underwear. We are looking for contraband and open, draining wounds. I have never had a problem with straight guys. However, gay guys tend to give me a hard time as they picked up that I am gay. Regardless, I maintain being professional throughout the process.

So i am a woman, but one of my best friends is a gay male nurse. When I asked him about how he handles it (he does have to do physical assessments with de-robed patients) he said most people do not even notice. He has had one person request a different nurse. The man was not rude in the request. So just be professional and I doubt you will ever have a problem.

Specializes in being a Credible Source.

I really wonder... how does anybody know whether a nurse is straight or gay?

Some of my coworkers know I'm straight because I've mentioned my wife in casual conversation but for the most part, unless someone is acting out their sexuality, how would anybody else ever know their personal proclivities?

I really wonder... how does anybody know whether a nurse is straight or gay?

Some of my coworkers know I'm straight because I've mentioned my wife in casual conversation but for the most part, unless someone is acting out their sexuality, how would anybody else ever know their personal proclivities?

The sad truth is that most people automatically assume males who work as nurses are gay because of the social construct of it being a "womans" job.

Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
The sad truth is that most people automatically assume males who work as nurses are gay because of the social construct of it being a "womans" job.

*** "most" people assume we are gay? My experience during two decades in nursing in no way supports that. It's happend a very few times that a person assumed I was gay since I was a nurse bt those where very old men, some of whome were blind. Far, far more common is to be flirted with my female patient family memebers of patients and comments about my wife or other comments indicating they assume I am strait.

Specializes in being a Credible Source.
just my personal opinion here that any man that does not want a "gay" man taking care of him probably would also refuse a "straight" man also...given that they have homophobia and lord knows if a man touches their member they would somehow be violated
That's been my personal experience... it wasn't about orientation, only gender.

He didn't even want a male doctor.

He was given the choice... me and the male doc now or back to the waiting room to wait for what he wanted... after some time debating about going AMA, he decided to settle for us.

His excuse: "I don't want some guy touching me."

*** "most" people assume we are gay? My experience during two decades in nursing in no way supports that. It's happend a very few times that a person assumed I was gay since I was a nurse bt those where very old men, some of whome were blind. Far, far more common is to be flirted with my female patient family memebers of patients and comments about my wife or other comments indicating they assume I am strait.

Well congrats. Yoy must live in the most understanding town in America.

I go to a nursing school and there's about 3 gay students in class. Being gay has nothing to do with nursing and your profession. It feels like you're saying "I'm gay therefore I can only work in urology" trust me if you do your job professionally then that wouldn't even matter. All nurses are held to a high standard, if you maintain that high standard then others will respect you for it.

Specializes in ICU / PCU / Telemetry / Oncology.

Your sexuality is a non-issue in what you do. It's none of the patient's business.

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