My moment in the sun

ixchel

Four years ago, after an inspiring trip to a Lamaze conference, I filled out my fafsa. I decided I was going to be a midwife. I enrolled at my local community college, thinking I'd get my ADN, work while I get my BSN, then move on to CNM.

Three years ago I finished my first year back in school as a nearly 4.0 student. I had joined AN and evolved my ideas. I knew there was more I needed to learn than the pre-reqs. I had realized that ADN-BSN would actually take me a year longer, so it made no sense to go that way. I changed my focus to getting into the university.

Two years ago I got my first college degree: an AA in general studies. But more exciting than that.... I had earned my slot in the BSN program. The only one close to me. The best one in my state. The only one I wanted. And I made it.

A year and a half ago I found out my spine was broken. I was a classroom parent for both my kids' classes, an officer in SNA, and spread so thin I couldn't handle it. I probably would have been okay before I found out about my back, but that knocked me down. Hard. I kept going. And frankly, I rocked it. It kicked my butt and some days I was brought to tears. But I wanted it. And I did it well.

A year ago, I had a near death experience after a medication went horribly wrong. I spent the summer recovering. I went back to school with tears in my eyes. The summer wasn't at all restful and I was terrified the year would be as hard as the previous was. I had, however, spent an incredible amount of time rebuilding and repairing my body. I grew strong. I grew resilient. I grew comfortable in my body again with my bones where they are and I learned life will be okay.

I had to let go of the classroom parent hat and the SNA hat. I decided my attention would only go to my school, the kids, and my health. The first semester back was actually pretty easy, and I got my motivation back. My heart rejoined nursing.

The current semester kicked my butt a little bit, but again, not so bad. The first half, I spent on a unit that I absolutely fell in love with. It actually has nothing to do with women's health, which is completely okay. My love and interests in nursing have expanded exponentially. Anyway, I learned the hospital has a residency program and the unit manager insisted I apply for it. So I did.

Today I celebrate the last day of school. I celebrate the people who have gone through the trenches with me. I celebrate those who carried me through when I couldn't carry myself. I celebrate my children, who had patience and love for me when I had none for myself. I celebrate a spouse who has accepted the fact that we would have no money for so long just because I am a dreamer.

I walk the stage in 9 days. I have two finals that I can fail pretty terribly and still graduate. And that job? I start in a month and 3 days.

All you students dreading the constant writing, the constant quizzing, the constant work, hang in there. I read these posts over the years thinking, god, it's a lifetime before I'll get to write one myself. And here I am! Thank you to the AN crusty bats for keeping me in line. I have stalked far more posts than I have responded to, and I love that your wisdom sits here for future generations to learn from. I appreciate that more than words can say!

Congratulations to all of my fellow 2014 grads, and to those of you beginning your journey, it is a long and brutal journey, but a beautiful one, all the same! Good luck to all of you!

My moment in the sun

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