Family...my OWN family...discourages me from nursing...

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Good evening. I've been a member of Allnurses since last year. It has helped guide me through my prenursing journey to acceptance into the competitive ADN program I applied to. I worked hard, through last summer all of the way through this previous spring semester to achieve the 3.6 gpa I have. I scored in the 99th percentile on the Pax-Rn. I was very proud to get accepted into the AND program I applied to.

Well, it just so happens that, this previous January during thr spring semester, I lost my job that I had been on for 7 years. I was devastated. I had given that job much of myself, and they just threw me away like a piece of trash. I applied for unemployment, which I was approved for. I've obviously encountered some financial hardship since, being that my unemployment is less than half of what I was making.

After no luck finding a job, I went ahead and enrolled full-time this summer. This made me a trainee as far as the Dept of Labor said, which means that I was to cease my work search and concntrate on my studies. I began to look at what happened with my job as possibly a blessing in disguise, as I would have had to probably leave anyway once the nursing program started.

The problem I'm encountering is my family. Both of my sisters are not supportive at all. They call me lazy....say I'm too sorry to work. I've worked since I was 16 (I'm now 29), oftentimes two jobs. The job that I lost...I was salaried, working close to 60 hrs/wk. I thought the circumstances lined up perfectly for me to pursue my dream of being in nursing.

They constantly make me feel like crap. They talk about me to other members of my family. They say "they went to work and went to school....you can too". They don't realize that I did as well when I was younger, maintaining almost 4.0gpa while doing so for two years.

Nursing school is very unique: they don't understand that, for most, they can't work while in RN school at all. At best, some manage to hold down a part time job. Most don't work at all. They faculty even advises us not to work. Working a part time job wouldn't even pay me more than I receive with my benefits.

The only people that have supported me are my parents. My mother is a nurse, and she understands the rigors of nursing school. She told me she thought I made an excellent choice, making a short-term sacrifice for long-term security and happiness. My father also supported me, telling me that it was time I went for it, doing something for a living that was a rewarding and that I could actually enjoy somewhat. Sadly, he passed away last month.

Now, I'm still excited. I can't wait for school to start this fall. My mother continues to support me, as well as my friends. However, I can't help but feel discouraged at times when some of my family feels like they do about me. Well, sorry for the long post. Just needed to vent. I'm gonna stay the course and do the best I can.Anyone else encountered anything similar?

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You're sisters are probably secretly jealous/angry that you are getting to fulfill your dreams! I'm 29 and have 2 sisters as well... I know how brutal they can be! I also know how it feels when your entire family doesn't understand what an accomplishment it is JUST to be accepted into the program! It's very unique! Do jot get discouraged! Let their negative attitudes fuel your fire!!! This is what I repeat to myself constantly... " I CAN and I WILL, just watch me!!!!" it keeps me going! Good luck! Stay focused and do beyond your best and you will have NO regrets! : )

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I have two younger sisters that are you and miss priss' ages...I can't imagine not supporting them. Unless they wanted to become cannibalistic basket weavers in Borneo, then maybe I might not be supportive... But a nurse, especially when it is the career your mom chose?!?!

I'd say there is a lot more going on that has more to do with their lack of self-esteem rather than your career choice.

Just move forward, push on, continue to be a success and you may silence the naysayers or at least drowned them out with your awesomeness...

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I just got accepted into my BSN program and I know that I will not be able to maintain full time employment. I currently work for a bank and I intend to leave when school starts. Now I am a little worried about that. I have two young kids and bills to pay. But i also have support and I have confidence and faith in God that I'm going to make it through. I will be working as much as possible, but I know I'm not going to be able to do much. I'm going to be in school five days out of the week. So whatever I can do I will. If I need assistance I know where to get it. Nursing school is demanding, not to mention expensive, so you have to be committed. You understand what you need to do. Go for it and recognize haterism for what it is! You go girl!

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Well, I don't have any personal experience with this but I certainly empathize with your situation. Keep your chin up, sweety. My parents used to tell me and they still do, "That you can't pick your relatives, but you sure can pick your friends". Which means to me, that we don't have a choice in who are family is, and what they say and do. But, we do have the choice in the friends we make and who we want to associate with. Now, I'm not saying you'll never have support from your sisters, because you know they probably will. But, what I'm getting at is that family can be a great support system, but sometimes they are not. And, that is when you need to look outside of the box to those who do support and love you. You have the support of your parents, and that is wonderful. Plus, your mom is a nurse so I'm sure she would understand or relate. Have you discussed this with her? How about your sisters, have you talked to them about how you're feeling?

From what I've read, it appears you have been through alot. And, you are keeping on track and I give you kudos to that! Keep trucking along and do what you need to do to survive and succeed. You know you can do it, you got the gusto. Your mom believes it, and believes in you. Maybe, trying to prove to your sisters that you are more than they think you are, could be the best medicine. :hug:

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I just got accepted into my BSN program and I know that I will not be able to maintain full time employment. I currently work for a bank and I intend to leave when school starts. Now I am a little worried about that. I have two young kids and bills to pay. But i also have support and I have confidence and faith in God that I'm going to make it through. I will be working as much as possible, but I know I'm not going to be able to do much. I'm going to be in school five days out of the week. So whatever I can do I will. If I need assistance I know where to get it. Nursing school is demanding, not to mention expensive, so you have to be committed. You understand what you need to do. Go for it and recognize haterism for what it is! You go girl!
I'm actually a guy lol...but, thanks!
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Specializes in L&D.

Im so sorry you are getting that from your family! I had to quit my salaried job as well to go back to school. For one, I didn't make my own hours, my job was 8-430 M-F..That interfered with school/clinical time and to be honest would have been a nightmare trying to work with school(and 4 kids).

Don't listen to them. I think your family is probably jealous and any friends you have that are thinking that, they arent truly your friends.

Nursing school is hard, it's very difficult to work a FT job and do it. You are doing what is best for you! Remember that! You answer to yourself(and God if you are religious)...you do not have to explain yourself to anyone else.

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It sounds like your mom will be your rock. It'll be hard but try and ignore the comments from your other family members. I agree with what others have said as far as them being jealous. School will be over with before you know it. In the mean time surround yourself with people who support you and your goals. Good luck this will all be worth it in the end!

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I agree, it sounds as if your sisters are just jealous. They must not realize that nursing is so much harder than the average college course... BTW, I'm so so sorry about your dad. I am sure that he is proud of your accomplishments so far. Keep your head held high & never give up...

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to give up this oppurtunity would be plain stupid, and you don't like you are. Tell them to take a long walk off a short pier.

Actually engaging them in conversation about what they want out of live may be a better option, lol.

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Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.

Now you see why I live on the other side of the country from my family, and the other side of the planet from my in-laws. Why do you let them own all that space in your head? Why do you let them bother you? Why do you give a crap what they say?

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I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. This is an exciting opportunity for you, and the feeling of being accepted into a program that you worked your butt off to get into is like no other. I don't know what it's like to not have the full support of all your family, but my advice is to shrug it off as much as you can. Distance yourself from them if you have to. Because once school starts, you really won't have the extra energy to spend on negative people in your life.

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