Good evening. I've been a member of Allnurses since last year. It has helped guide me through my prenursing journey to acceptance into the competitive ADN program I applied to. I worked hard, through last summer all of the way through this previous spring semester to achieve the 3.6 gpa I have. I scored in the 99th percentile on the Pax-Rn. I was very proud to get accepted into the AND program I applied to.
Well, it just so happens that, this previous January during thr spring semester, I lost my job that I had been on for 7 years. I was devastated. I had given that job much of myself, and they just threw me away like a piece of trash. I applied for unemployment, which I was approved for. I've obviously encountered some financial hardship since, being that my unemployment is less than half of what I was making.
After no luck finding a job, I went ahead and enrolled full-time this summer. This made me a trainee as far as the Dept of Labor said, which means that I was to cease my work search and concntrate on my studies. I began to look at what happened with my job as possibly a blessing in disguise, as I would have had to probably leave anyway once the nursing program started.
The problem I'm encountering is my family. Both of my sisters are not supportive at all. They call me lazy....say I'm too sorry to work. I've worked since I was 16 (I'm now 29), oftentimes two jobs. The job that I lost...I was salaried, working close to 60 hrs/wk. I thought the circumstances lined up perfectly for me to pursue my dream of being in nursing.
They constantly make me feel like crap. They talk about me to other members of my family. They say "they went to work and went to school....you can too". They don't realize that I did as well when I was younger, maintaining almost 4.0gpa while doing so for two years.
Nursing school is very unique: they don't understand that, for most, they can't work while in RN school at all. At best, some manage to hold down a part time job. Most don't work at all. They faculty even advises us not to work. Working a part time job wouldn't even pay me more than I receive with my benefits.
The only people that have supported me are my parents. My mother is a nurse, and she understands the rigors of nursing school. She told me she thought I made an excellent choice, making a short-term sacrifice for long-term security and happiness. My father also supported me, telling me that it was time I went for it, doing something for a living that was a rewarding and that I could actually enjoy somewhat. Sadly, he passed away last month.
Now, I'm still excited. I can't wait for school to start this fall. My mother continues to support me, as well as my friends. However, I can't help but feel discouraged at times when some of my family feels like they do about me. Well, sorry for the long post. Just needed to vent. I'm gonna stay the course and do the best I can.Anyone else encountered anything similar?
Wow , your story is somewhat similar to mine. I worked for my job 7 years and they shut down so i was unemployed as well..Applied for unemployment but it was 1/3 of what i was making. I had some finacial struggles as well plus i have 2 children and am a single mother. I felt so bad at first but then realized the blessing behind it all. I never would have gone back to school otherwise because i was content where i was. The only thing i cant relate to is your family issue. My parents are very supportive. I have 5 older sisters and 2 older brothers and they are all proud of me and very supportive. Sometimes i feel like a failure because all of my siblings are successful and i never finished college. I have a bank VP, a Hospital Administrator, a Physical Therapist, a Sheriff/Cosmetologist, a Chemical Engineer, an EMT, and a whse manager, My father is a retired NYPD Police Officer and my mom a retired Banker. I feel like i have so much to make up for and big shoes to fill. With all that being said they are so encouraging and proud of me . It makes me feel like i can go on. I am 29 years old as well and feel like time is passing me by. We are still young and WE CAN DO THIS. Im waiting for my acceptance letter . Hoping to start my program in the spring. I dont know you or where your from but from what i can tell you are determined and i say go for it. Let the negative talk from your sisters be your motivation. If they dont have your back ...I DO ! Good luck to you in all that you set out to do . God Bless (and please keep me posted on your progress)
My first instinct was the same as some people suggested when I read your post - your sisters are jealous of this positive move in your life. The only reason people talk about anyone negatively is because they have some deep-seated negativity about themselves that they are attempting to deflect.
Personally, I have had no problem distancing myself from family members that don't support anything about my life. Life is too short to put up with that. Fortunately for me, my parents were not like that and they had always supported me in whatever I did. I have other family members that just don't understand and as a result I just keep away. For instance, I have a half-sister who is a Jehovah's Witness and for some odd reason was finding fault with most everything I was doing to lead my life the way I thought was positive and happy. Needless to say, I have long distanced myself from her, and I assume she got the message from my silence and quiet exit from her life.
Anyway, don't feel guilty about distancing yourself from your sisters if you have to do that to bring more positive energy into your life. You're on a great path as far as I am concerned, don't let anything ruin that for you. So what if your sisters are blood, I say. It's YOUR life and that is what matters.
BTW, I am in my early 40's ... never too late to make big changes in your life!
For me, the part of the story that I'm missing is why your sisters think you should be working. You aren't living with them, are you? 4 kids you aren't going to be paying child support for? Selling controlled substances in back alleys to make ends meet? Why do they care? Did they have to work their way through school? Some people see that as a rite of passage for everyone once they've done it Or are they just making negative conversation for no good reason?
If they're just jealous, I don't know what advice I can give other than: brush them haters off. Go forth and prosper. Jealously may seem totally irrational, but it's based on genuine feelings, and figuring out where they stem from could be beneficial to y'alls relationship in the long run. No, it won't change what you're doing, but maybe some empathetic gestures/words can smooth things over. Maybe not. Sometimes people just want to be miserable.
I have a 9 yr old who I have joint custody of. I take care of all of my obligations. All they say is that they were able to go to school and work...so should I...notwithstanding that one graduated from an online school with a business degree. They don't understand the rigors of nursing school.
Have you considered not going into nursing because if you can't take a little bit of heat from your family, I wonder how cut out you will be taking heat from your nursing manager, nursing peer group, and the patients. You may want to reconsider another career path in my opinion.
I have a 9 yr old who I have joint custody of. I take care of all of my obligations. All they say is that they were able to go to school and work...so should I...notwithstanding that one graduated from an online school with a business degree. They don't understand the rigors of nursing school.
Those who have never experienced nursing school or who have never had a loved one in nursing school, have no idea how rigorous nursing school is; they assume all college courses are the same intensity. Prior to nursing school, I was shamefully ignorant, too, because I went to Engineering school and worked two full-time jobs while "raising" my first born as a single mother, so I assumed nursing school would be cake because I didn't have to work and I was/am married with two additional children who were in school/day care full-time. Seriously, nursing school is an entirely different beast--keep that in mind when your sisters are casting judgments and use the experience you're having with your sisters as a great learning and potential teaching opportunity.
Have you considered not going into nursing because if you can't take a little bit of heat from your family, I wonder how cut out you will be taking heat from your nursing manager, nursing peer group, and the patients. You may want to reconsider another career path in my opinion.
Dealing with family is a bit different than dealing with a manager or peers.
Well, I am glad you have had the pleasure of working with non-judgemental nursing peers and/or family during the course of your nursing practice. You are very, very lucky as this is very rare set of circumstances similar to unicorn and leprechaun sightings.
I'd put an end to those comments with a firm MYOB, and add that if my full-time education bothers them so much, then we can mutually agree to limit contact for the duration of nursing school.
And as the mother of two young adults, I am well aware that they are long past the age where I need to mediate every dispute. But your kids are your kids forever, and in your situation I would be telling two of my three children to shut their traps.
nursenthemakin
140 Posts
Wow , your story is somewhat similar to mine. I worked for my job 7 years and they shut down so i was unemployed as well..Applied for unemployment but it was 1/3 of what i was making. I had some finacial struggles as well plus i have 2 children and am a single mother. I felt so bad at first but then realized the blessing behind it all. I never would have gone back to school otherwise because i was content where i was. The only thing i cant relate to is your family issue. My parents are very supportive. I have 5 older sisters and 2 older brothers and they are all proud of me and very supportive. Sometimes i feel like a failure because all of my siblings are successful and i never finished college. I have a bank VP, a Hospital Administrator, a Physical Therapist, a Sheriff/Cosmetologist, a Chemical Engineer, an EMT, and a whse manager, My father is a retired NYPD Police Officer and my mom a retired Banker. I feel like i have so much to make up for and big shoes to fill. With all that being said they are so encouraging and proud of me . It makes me feel like i can go on. I am 29 years old as well and feel like time is passing me by. We are still young and WE CAN DO THIS. Im waiting for my acceptance letter . Hoping to start my program in the spring. I dont know you or where your from but from what i can tell you are determined and i say go for it. Let the negative talk from your sisters be your motivation. If they dont have your back ...I DO ! Good luck to you in all that you set out to do . God Bless (and please keep me posted on your progress)
Tiffany