I just had surgery and now I don't think I have what it takes

LeChien, BSN, RN · Jul 17, 2016

I learned mine in school. Nobody goes to nursing school with the perfect attitude.

Plus you won't have just had surgery by that time, you'll be at a better point then.

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN · Jul 17, 2016

Most of 'what it takes' is having the answers and understanding for your patients. That is what nursing school is for. And take what you learned from your patient experience, and put it to work for YOUR patients.

I think it's really valuable that you recognized- beneath your surgery - what it is that nurses really DO. It will serve you well.

Best wishes!

2soon2beOTC · Jul 17, 2016

Very good point. Making life decisions less than a week after surgery? Yeah, not so good. You're right and thanks so much.

missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN · Jul 17, 2016

You have experience of being a patient. Don't discount that. Sometimes being in the role of the patient affects you, and you can pull from that and understand where your patients are coming from.

I don't think it's a bad thing. You now have a self-molded expectation of nurses. Nurses are not saints and we are human. Being able to appropriately empathize with your patients because you have been in their shoes will help you practice nursing.

Don't make big decisions now. Just be grateful that you had a great experience, and work towards being that type of nurse in school.

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Jul 17, 2016

First off, I'm glad to hear you are recovering well!

I'll tell you, I didn't have *it* while a student either. I hadn't the slightest clue what to say to someone in a difficult situation. I worked as a CNA in LTC, and residents frequently mourned their loss of independence, and I would draw a blank. I wanted to help them feel better, but didn't know how.

Now nearly 20 yrs after those first awkward years (I got my CNA as a senior in high school), I talk to families and support them through horribly difficult situations. I even support them in transitioning from ICU care to comfort care and death -- with no MD in the room, often with no chaplain in the room.

I'll let you in on a secret -- I'm not as unshakable as I come across. I can put on a strong face, but on occasion I have gone into the BR for a 30 second cry.

You'll get it! It just takes time and experience.

Cricket183, BSN, RN · Jul 17, 2016

First of all, I'm glad your surgery went well and you are recovering well.

Second, there is a whole lot of difference between being the patient and how you deal with that situation and being the nurse. Just because you "couldn't keep your own self together" during your illness does not mean you don't have "core unshakability" as you put it. I'm a very calm person by nature, especially in a crisis. The more stressful a situation gets, the calmer I appear. If a patient was going bad, I was one of the nurses you wanted around. I handle chaos well. I'm not easily rattled. If you needed to tell a patient or family bad news I was a good nurse to take along. (Please understand, I'm not saying this to brag or boast. It's just my natural immediate reaction to situations. Now on the way home when it's all over, I will absolutely fall apart.). Close to ten years ago, I was diagnosed with a serious medical condition. I completely fell apart. Lost it. Ugly cry and all. And I hate to get emotional in front others. My point is, it is different when it comes to your (or your family's) health and you cannot judge your reaction to your own health situation as to how you will react to other people's situations when you are their nurse. If anything (as others have mentioned) this will give you a tremendous insight into what it is like to be on the other side of the bed.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jul 18, 2016

I just had major surgery and recovery at a local hospital. Went okay and am home. My issue is this: It was intense. These brilliant -- and I mean, really gifted -- nurses just basically saved my soul and sanity in countless ways. No exaggeration. And it wasn't pretty up in there: very sick folks, major decisions to make on your own contantly, a backbreaking workload ... And always had the time to calm me, reassure me, say the right things. So, honestly; I don't think I have that kind of gift. I was freaking out after a long but routine surgery and significant but not the most intense pain (to me it felt ridiculous - I was somehow totally unprepared). I couldn't keep my own self together, and these miracle nurses were there to do it. How can I be a decent nurse if I don't have core unshakability? It depressing, but it was a very profound experience and one I should take the time to learn as much from as possible.

" How can I be a decent nurse if I don't have core unshakability?' Nobody has core unshakability.

You have had the opportunity to observe from the other side of the bed.

It's not depressing, it's a goal you you now want to achieve.. and you can. :up:

Get well soon.

RainMom · Jul 18, 2016

Sounds like you had a fantastic group of experienced nurses. The experience is the key. Nobody is unshakeable. When you start seeing the same clinical situations over & over, it gets easier & a bit more second nature. Then something critical happens to your patient that makes you question your nursing abilities...but you file that new bit of info away to be recognized if it comes up again.

You'll get there. It just takes time. Happy healing!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 18, 2016

"Core unshakability" isn't innate; it's learned. You learn what you need to do for your patients, and as you learn you become more comfortable and more confident. After forty years, I'm not going to claim "core unshakability" but I am fairly unflappable.

Maerzie · Jul 18, 2016

Reassess yourself after you are fully recuperated and back to normal. Life happenings, like Major surgery, can knock the wind out of anyone!

sevensonnets · Jul 18, 2016

I'm not sure what core unshakeability is, but after nearly 36 years of nursing, there's not much that rattles me! You learn as you go along and become more confident in what you do.