I just had major surgery and recovery at a local hospital. Went okay and am home. My issue is this: It was intense. These brilliant -- and I mean, really gifted -- nurses just basically saved my soul and sanity in countless ways. No exaggeration. And it wasn't pretty up in there: very sick folks, major decisions to make on your own contantly, a backbreaking workload ... And always had the time to calm me, reassure me, say the right things. So, honestly; I don't think I have that kind of gift. I was freaking out after a long but routine surgery and significant but not the most intense pain (to me it felt ridiculous - I was somehow totally unprepared). I couldn't keep my own self together, and these miracle nurses were there to do it. How can I be a decent nurse if I don't have core unshakability? It depressing, but it was a very profound experience and one I should take the time to learn as much from as possible.