I just had surgery and now I don't think I have what it takes

Erythropoiesis · Jul 18, 2016

You are all kinds of heavy duty pain killers, am I right? You just had surgery. Don't think about all this stuff right now--come back to it later. Happy healing! It's worth mentioning that nobody knows how to act like a nurse before they become a nurse.

BeenThere2012, ASN, RN · Jul 19, 2016

You are all kinds of heavy duty pain killers, am I right? You just had surgery. Don't think about all this stuff right now--come back to it later. Happy healing! It's worth mentioning that nobody knows how to act like a nurse before they become a nurse.

Yes...No one knows how act like a nurse before they become one. Take the advice and reassurance.others have said as well. With experience comes knowledge and insight. In time, we all get better at comforting patients and having the right things to say, a lot of the time.

FurBabyMom, MSN, RN · Jul 19, 2016

Some of what I'll post will echo what others have posted.

First and foremost, do *not* forget this, no matter what you decide to do (nursing or not), nobody is *born* knowing how to do anything. Really though - at birth, we're limited to things like breathing, eating (sucking really), soiling ourselves and usually making a lot of noise for attention. No matter what type of career you have - you will be learning it and anyone doing it had to learn it at one time themselves.

I was in college, as a pre-nursing major, when my father was hospitalized (in an ICU, in another state) for an anaphylactic reaction. That summer, between my pre-requisites year and the first year in my nursing program, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and had surgery. I remember sitting there, during both situations, while my dad and grandmother were in ICU - and thinking I could never do it. There was too much to learn, too many things, more than what I was able to do.

I remember sitting there, in my first nursing class, staring at the syllabus for our class (it was 50+ pages as our syllabi included the psychomotor skills guidelines that we'd be assessed on during each term). I thought that I would *never* make it out of that class let alone the other courses to follow. I remember that my first med/surg clinical was a truly overwhelming experience. Each clinical was overwhelming a bit - though my practicum/preceptorship really scared me. Working in pre-op and some exposure to PACU? I was utterly scared at the concept of being watched for each skills check off. After the first two or so, you knew what to expect.

Starting work as a PCA - that was overwhelming, we were taught, checked off on and allowed to do 12 lead EKG/ECGs and venipuncture for lab draws (in addition to things I was more familiar with like vitals, baths, etc). Graduating, taking that big scary test, the NCLEX and starting a job - all scary. What if I do something wrong? I can remember thinking I'd never handle 4-6 patients with acuity ranging from almost ICU to walkie talkies. I remember, when I started working for my current employer, in a new-to-the OR program, it seemed utterly overwhelming (it is so very different than what most are exposed to during nursing school). I thought that I'd never be able to circulate or scrub a case independently. I thought I would *never* get it. And then one day I did.

If you look at the "big" picture instead of steps to get there you will set yourself up for failure. You have to get through what's immediately in front of you and continue to build. You'll learn a million things in nursing school - some will stick and some won't. Some skills you'll be great at, others you will just not be so good at. Being able to competently do them is something you will have to achieve. You'll learn to ask for help, and when you need it (hint: if you think you need help, you need help). You'll start with basics and keep building.

There will be days you cannot look at the big picture to decide what to do (like you can't look at ALL the things that should be done in the next 12 hours). You will have to (and learn to) prioritize and pick what you should be starting with then move on. With any luck, you will end up working somewhere with a great team that supports and helps you learn and grow. I used to need a lot of help, now I'm helping people. Ask questions, none are dumb. As long as you are learning and growing, it will come with time. Nobody realistically expects a student or new grad to handle things or perform as well as someone with experience.

As far as reassuring and comforting patients? That will come with time too! I have found that my experiences as a patient and as a family member have given me insight into my patient and their family members' situation(s). Many days I see patients and their families on the scariest and worst day (or days) of their lives. I have taken care of preemies, elderly patients and every age in between. Providing education, explanations and reassurance, helps tremendously.

I guess my point is - you'll learn how to manage it - everything you'll have to do skills wise and inter personally. It takes time though. Don't talk yourself out of something because it seems like too much. Anything worth doing should require some effort. Best wishes for you with whatever you decide to do! :)

littlemissbookworm · Jul 20, 2016

It's always different when you're in the hospital yourself or your family member is. I love doing wound care on patients, but one time I had this deep cut that I got camping. It freaked me out, which I found so strange. Or I had a family friend have an anaphylactic reaction and it was very unexpected and overwhelming because it was not at the hospital. Don't feel like you don't have what it takes. There are so many different fields of nursing and each very different. And I agree with the previous comments. Focus one step at a time. It was crazy how much I grew and learned throughout one school year and continue to learn to this day.

BeenThere2012, ASN, RN · Jul 20, 2016

Some of what I'll post will echo what others have posted.
First and foremost, do *not* forget this, no matter what you decide to do (nursing or not), nobody is *born* knowing how to do anything. Really though - at birth, we're limited to things like breathing, eating (sucking really), soiling ourselves and usually making a lot of noise for attention. No matter what type of career you have - you will be learning it and anyone doing it had to learn it at one time themselves.
I was in college, as a pre-nursing major, when my father was hospitalized (in an ICU, in another state) for an anaphylactic reaction. That summer, between my pre-requisites year and the first year in my nursing program, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and had surgery. I remember sitting there, during both situations, while my dad and grandmother were in ICU - and thinking I could never do it. There was too much to learn, too many things, more than what I was able to do.
I remember sitting there, in my first nursing class, staring at the syllabus for our class (it was 50+ pages as our syllabi included the psychomotor skills guidelines that we'd be assessed on during each term). I thought that I would *never* make it out of that class let alone the other courses to follow. I remember that my first med/surg clinical was a truly overwhelming experience. Each clinical was overwhelming a bit - though my practicum/preceptorship really scared me. Working in pre-op and some exposure to PACU? I was utterly scared at the concept of being watched for each skills check off. After the first two or so, you knew what to expect.
Starting work as a PCA - that was overwhelming, we were taught, checked off on and allowed to do 12 lead EKG/ECGs and venipuncture for lab draws (in addition to things I was more familiar with like vitals, baths, etc). Graduating, taking that big scary test, the NCLEX and starting a job - all scary. What if I do something wrong? I can remember thinking I'd never handle 4-6 patients with acuity ranging from almost ICU to walkie talkies. I remember, when I started working for my current employer, in a new-to-the OR program, it seemed utterly overwhelming (it is so very different than what most are exposed to during nursing school). I thought that I'd never be able to circulate or scrub a case independently. I thought I would *never* get it. And then one day I did.
If you look at the "big" picture instead of steps to get there you will set yourself up for failure. You have to get through what's immediately in front of you and continue to build. You'll learn a million things in nursing school - some will stick and some won't. Some skills you'll be great at, others you will just not be so good at. Being able to competently do them is something you will have to achieve. You'll learn to ask for help, and when you need it (hint: if you think you need help, you need help). You'll start with basics and keep building.
There will be days you cannot look at the big picture to decide what to do (like you can't look at ALL the things that should be done in the next 12 hours). You will have to (and learn to) prioritize and pick what you should be starting with then move on. With any luck, you will end up working somewhere with a great team that supports and helps you learn and grow. I used to need a lot of help, now I'm helping people. Ask questions, none are dumb. As long as you are learning and growing, it will come with time. Nobody realistically expects a student or new grad to handle things or perform as well as someone with experience.
As far as reassuring and comforting patients? That will come with time too! I have found that my experiences as a patient and as a family member have given me insight into my patient and their family members' situation(s). Many days I see patients and their families on the scariest and worst day (or days) of their lives. I have taken care of preemies, elderly patients and every age in between. Providing education, explanations and reassurance, helps tremendously.
I guess my point is - you'll learn how to manage it - everything you'll have to do skills wise and inter personally. It takes time though. Don't talk yourself out of something because it seems like too much. Anything worth doing should require some effort. Best wishes for you with whatever you decide to do! :)

This is one of the best posts I have ever read regarding support for a new nurse or nursing student. Very well thought out and presented.

2soon2beOTC · Jul 20, 2016

What a beautifully written, thoughtful reply. And incredibly helpful. Thank you.

2soon2beOTC · Jul 20, 2016

Totally. That makes so much sense. Different roles, different contexts--there are always places or times when whatever our profession, it's different and difficult when it broaches our personal versus our professional lives, right? That's life, basically. Just had never had the experience of major surgery. Who knew? Thank you.

2soon2beOTC · Jul 20, 2016

Right? You people need to be writing an anthology, "Maxims to Live By In Nursing School and As a Nurse." I'm feeling totally blessed right now.

FurBabyMom, MSN, RN · Jul 20, 2016

This is one of the best posts I have ever read regarding support for a new nurse or nursing student. Very well thought out and presented.

Thank you! I got a little wordy - but sometimes wordy works. :)

bluebirdflyx · Jul 21, 2016

One of the things that will factor into being calm and confident as a nurse is experience and repetition. Your situation was unique, stressful, and challenging for you, but it's likely the nurses see patients like you day after day and night after night. I know I do. Once you have seen the same patient situation over and over you'll know what to say and how to help. You say you were freaking out but to the nurse it's just par for the course. As I type that it sounds insensitive but I hope I'm making my point.

Unfortunately on my floor most patients never seem adequately prepared (lack of education provided by the surgeon BEFORE surgery) for the amount of pain and discomfort they will face. I try to provide as much education as I can immediately into my shift about what they should be expecting. A little education goes a long way.

SuePeck · Jul 21, 2016

This is precisely why you have the right stuff. You went through a difficult surgery, and learned something...which is what we do for our entire careers. Your Nurses sounded as though they performed wonderfully, they were caring and supportive, and quite frankly, it's not what we are used to receiving in our day to day work. This time, you were on the other side of the fence, which is always a difficult place for us to be, because we are required at all times to have as you put it, "unshakeability". As Nurses, we are required to hold it together, be tough and kind all at the same time,,,,,to sacrifice what we need to give to others...meals, pee breaks, leave our personal worries and concerns at home etc. The fact that you have asked this question tells that you absolutely have what it takes. If your experience has caused you to reflect, then do so, and be honest with yourself. One does not need to have been a patient to be great at what we do, but it adds a certain something to our professional abilities to have been the patient and on the receiving end of great care. It helps us grow and understand a bit better, especially if we feel we were a bit "difficult", or exhibit what we consider un-Nurse like behaviour...being the patient makes us vulnerable and we feel out of control in a world where we need to be in control at all times. One can take that and learn and grow, or they can walk away. I know exactly how you feel, I was the patient not so long ago, and couldn't say enough good things about my experience. As all things do, this came exactly at the right time, after 32 years, I was burnt out, and fed up with the way things are today. It didn't cure me of my frustration, but it made me realize once again, how much of a difference we make, even if it isn't recognized openly. Learn and grow from it, we all have our unique strengths, not any one of us is perfect, but as a team, we get it done, and hopefully make a difference, no matter how small,,,,it all makes a difference.

2soon2beOTC · Jul 24, 2016

Thank you so much for your comment. And:

"Unfortunately on my floor most patients never seem adequately prepared (lack of education provided by the surgeon BEFORE surgery) for the amount of pain and discomfort they will face. I try to provide as much education as I can immediately into my shift about what they should be expecting. A little education goes a long way."

Yes, indeed. I am now fascinated by what regulates information provided prior to surgery. My surgeon's prep for the surgery experience was: "You will hate us." Ha! Yep, for a few days I did.