I. Just. Can't....

Thimbalina · Sep 1, 2014

In that big river in Eygpt. De Nile!

I really don't think people can get a clue until they actually see it in real life. Since our society as a whole is in denial and sterilized the death and dying process as something abnormal and wrong… you can expect to see this played out over and over again.

friggasdistaff · Sep 1, 2014

They won't get anywhere with that.

It may not go any where, but it is still a waste of hospital resources to defend themselves against baseless claims.

TriciaJ, RN · Sep 1, 2014

What's the point of having an advanced directive if your nitwit family members can override it? Shame on hospital administration for caving in to such stupidity. Their duty was to their patient, not the family and not their fear of lawsuits. Advanced directives need to be as iron-clad as possible, so there is no suing for honouring them. Just my 2 cents.

That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Sep 1, 2014

People are so afraid of death and letting people go. Such a sad state we live in.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 2, 2014

Can practically guarantee they won't learn a thing. Will simply proclaim to whoever will listen that the staff at Memorial Whatever Hospital "killed" their loved one because of incompetent code procedures. You'll see it, no doubt.

That's because it isn't about the patient anymore -- it's about the family and their "rights." They have the right to watch you break Grandma's ribs and electrocute her in an effort to "save" her, so that, by gum, is going to happen. If it doesn't happen they'll sue over that, too.

PMFB-RN, RN · Sep 2, 2014

I have refused to code people in the past. The first time I fully expected to lose my job but I just couldn't do it. However nobody ever said a thing about it to me. If I had a family who refused to leave the room when I needed them to I would call security and have them removed. I have done it before.

Sonce nobody ever said anything to me I have since refused to code others when I knew it would violate the patien't wishes. So far so good.

guest2210 · Sep 2, 2014

That is so sad.

I had a patient with end-stage liver disease and ACTIVE AIDS. Family wanted everything done. He coded, went to ICU and coded at least half a dozen times and finally couldn't be revived 3 days later.

Twinmom06, ASN, APN · Sep 2, 2014

While giving report on a lovely 80+ year old woman (who was a retired RN) she asked me why I was reporting off she was a full code when she stated she had a signed DNR. Said form was not on the chart but I promised her I'd speak to the doc about changing her status. Doc walks into the station next morning, I informed him of her wishes - he stated he'd talk to her about it. 5 minutes later walks back into the nurses station and says "we're not changing her code status". I walk down to the room to talk to her about it (since not an hour before she was adamant she was NOT to be coded) and she said the doc walked into the room and stated "well do you FEEL 84 years old?" and that was the discussion about code status.

Death is the ultimate failure and insult for doctors, so yeah, lets just code everyone!

THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN · Sep 2, 2014

I've had patients straight up tell me that they want to die and the family keeps saying "they want to fight for their life!" Yeah okayyy

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Sep 2, 2014

Too bad we can't have a PSA on Advance Directives. :no:

As far as individuals and families throwing around "lawsuit"; sticks and stones, sticks and stones...and good malpractice insurance.

SeattleJess · Sep 2, 2014

Sadly this travesty is repeated time and again.
Once had a DNR patient (signed, sealed, unsealed or whatever, and placed in chart) who had a couple of family members who would NOT leave the room (even overnight, regardless of the rules). And when Grandma coded said family began jumping up and down to "DO SOMETHING!!!" She even declared that since she was the HCP in case Grandma became "incompetent", it was now HER call to SAVE HER LIFE!!
Grandma was never incompetent, she was old, but now that she was failing to breathe and have her heart beat, well, guess that's "unable to make her own medical decisions" to this witch. Dead now equals incompetent?
Supervisory staff caved, unhappily, and allowed the code because they figured Dead Grandma couldn't very well sue but Live Related Princess certainly could. Old story. ICU was SO ticked to get Grandma as a transfer in the wee hours (oh yes, we "saved" her) so she could die a day or two later on their time.
Travesty.

Cowards cause a thousand deaths; a brave nurse only one? Or maybe a brave nurse without cowardly supervisory staff?

I can't help but think that the choice to inflict additional pain and suffering on a dying person to avoid paperwork or because of fear of a lawsuit is cowardly. At best.

Purple_roses · Sep 2, 2014

It sounds like they are trying to redirect their emotions toward something more tangible, since anger probably feels better than grief. I hope they find peace.

This is beyond true. One of the patients I care for has late stage Alzheimer's, and it was very hard for his family to accept the decline. They wanted to try everything under the sun to fight it and wanted to push his regular eating and drinking habits even after serious aspiration scares had occurred. They would get mad at the pettiest things, but the whole time I wondered if it was just easier for them to be mad at nothing than to grieve over something so heartbreaking. Once the fam let go of denial and began accepting the disease, they all became so much nicer. It's a definite process. Unfortunately, the patient is the one who suffers as the family tries to sort things out in their heads.