baby sleeping in same bed as parents - page 6

Someone who is related to me has a new baby. They mentioned by the way the baby has slept in their bed with them every night for his 8 week old life. I am worried they will accidently crush the baby,... Read More

  1. by   DutchgirlRN
    Quote from crissrn27
    People should have a right to know how to put their babies to sleep safely, in a crib or bed.
    Words of wisdom. Thanks.
  2. by   luvmy3kids
    Quote from DutchgirlRN
    What is harsh about saying we have to drive? I have to drive. I am a HH nurse. If I don't drive, I don't get a paycheck or medical insurance.

    Everyone knows babies don't just die co-sleeping just as they can and do die alone in their cribs. I repeat that everyone should make their own decision and I have my own opinion. I'm not an authority on the subject but I do have an opinion. Just a thought.
    Nothing is harsh about having to drive. I meant your whole post was harsh. Everyone may know that babies don't just die co-sleeping, however.... your exact words were

    "Babie's die co-sleeping, Adults don't die co-sleeping" That to me sounds a bit harsh.
  3. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from crissrn27
    . People should have a right to know how to put their babies to sleep safely, in a crib or bed.
    Which is all we are saying.

    Dutch - those examples you posted are examples of unsafe co-sleeping:

    "suffocation, getting trapped between the bed and wall or falling off of the bed."

    And you are actually making a blanket judgment when you say co-sleeing is dangerous and babies die. You are leaving out a huge part of the story and that is the we CAN sleep with our babies safely if we follow the rules.

    NurseyBaby = there comes a time in a crib where babies figure out how to climb out and the risk of falling is worrisome. All my kids figured out how to get out of a crib fairly early on.

    We lowered our bed to the floor. Kept the bedroom door closed. Seems like our kids like to stay cuddled next to mommy and milk.

    steph
  4. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from luvmy3kids
    Nothing is harsh about having to drive. I meant your whole post was harsh. Everyone may know that babies don't just die co-sleeping, however.... your exact words were

    "Babie's die co-sleeping, Adults don't die co-sleeping" That to me sounds a bit harsh.
    I agree . . . . babies can die if placed unsafely in a bed with parents. If the parents are intoxicated. If they sleep in a waterbed. I'm not going to re-hash ALL the things you should not do as we've all hopefully read the safe co-sleeping rules.

    "Co-sleeping" doesn't kill babies . . . . . being unsafe might.

    steph
  5. by   queenjean
    I occasionally teach childbirth classes, and we address the co-sleeping.

    I always state that the AAP recommends against it; but I also go on to discuss safe sleeping habits in all environments: cosleeping, infant in bassinet, infant in crib.

    It comes down to the fact that all of us have some type of critical thinking skills, and we can all weigh the pros and cons, risks and benefits of a situation, and then decide what works best for our family. We still very much allow parents to make parenting decisions, even if they aren't in line with what we as medical practitioners feel is healthy.

    I personally did not initially cosleep with my first daughter, until I found her very sick in her bed one morning. She was coated in dried vomit, had an extremely high fever, and was very very ill, too ill to cry. That decided it for me. We safely coslept for many years, even with a newborn. Best sleep I got as a parent.

    I was well aware of the risks, and weighed the pros and cons. And I was (and am) prepared to accept responsibility for my decisions. Just like every other dang parenting decision.

    I mean, we could have this discussion about everything: circumcision, breastfeeding vs bottle feeding, SAH vs WOH mothers, homeschool vs public school vs private school, TV vs no TV households, organic vs standard American diet for our children, on and on and on.

    I think it is very important to be respectful of parents. Providing educational opportunities is of course a nursing role. We do carry some responsibility in ensuring that a parent has access to information to help them make their decisions. But let's assume that most parents are capable of weighing pros and cons and of making intelligent decisions on their own, shall we? I expect that respect when I make decisions regarding my children, I am sure that we all would like to be afforded that same respect.
  6. by   AmericanChai
    I had two reflux babies. One night when my first baby was a tiny newborn I woke up by some mommy instinct to find her in the bassinet next to our bed, mouth open full of vomit. She was too little to turn her head or roll over. I scooped her up, turned her over and pounded her back. She coughed and then cried. That really scared me. I took her to bed with me and she had a few more of those episodes but her kicking and movement woke me up. I also kept her on her side from then on. She stayed in our bed until she was 3. My husband is from India and everyone does co-sleeping with their babies there traditionally. We actually put our mattress on the floor for awhile to protect her from falling off.

    My second baby had reflux so bad she ended up on a feeding tube and slow feeding pump. Because she needed to be elevated I had to put her in a crib but she was right next to our bed. I could reach out and touch her. The Ped GI actually said to have her sleep on her tummy, it was safer for her until she was old enough to roll over and help herself if she choked. ON my support board there was actually a baby who choked on his own vomit and died in his crib in the other room because of reflux.

    When my second was 3 mos old and again at 8 mos old she was hospitalized for reflux related problems. I was allowed to cosleep with her both times in the hospital. I was asked to sign a waiver but they were supportive of me doing it.

    Babies are most at risk for smothering if their parents have sleeping pills or are intoxicated. Otherwise sleeping with your infant is a very natural thing-- I doubt the first nomads put their babies in cribs or hammocks to sleep!
    Last edit by AmericanChai on Mar 23, '07
  7. by   TDub
    You know what? In 21 years as a nurse, opinion has swayed back and forth many times from one extreme to another. When I started we never gave women anything to eat in labour and never gave then D5 IV, always put infants on their stomachs to sleep and got them on a feeding schedule ASAP becuase, everyone knew, it COULD KILL THEM if you didn't (joke emphasis mine) Nowadays, it's the exact opposite.
    Practices will change along with the studies supporting them. Look back at the cigarette ads in the 30's and 40's. MDs promoted cigarettes as a way to soothe your throat and lungs. Now they cause cancer. Some people still use them to keep their weight down, something society harps on day and night.

    Do what feels right to you. I personally think cosleeping is a good idea. It seems to help ward off SIDS, http://www.babyreference.com/Cosleep....htm#SIDSgraph (International Childcare Practices study) gives mom more sleep and makes it a little easier to breastfeed. The same reflex that keeps you from rolling out of a strange bed keeps you from rolling over on an infant. So, if you're dead drunk, stoned or otherwise impaired, don't sleep with a baby.

    I don't think we have all the answers. We are something like 35th, 45th in the world in infant mortality. That's a damn shame. Nothing against Cuba, but they are ahead of us on some rankings. Yeesh!
  8. by   ElvishDNP
    Quote from TDub
    I don't think we have all the answers. We are something like 35th, 45th in the world in infant mortality. That's a damn shame. Nothing against Cuba, but they are ahead of us on some rankings. Yeesh!
    I was wondering when someone would bring up our high infant mortality rate...
  9. by   TDub
    My personal theory is that there's such a difference between the haves and the have-nots in our society. Those of us who have a little money and healthcare and have some control over our lives can muddle along. The ones who don't muddle along like the Joads, lurching from disaster to disaster, dropping like flies from disease, violence, neglect and ignorance.

    Reminds me of Dickens' Want and Ignorance in A Christmas Carol and brings me to tears.
  10. by   palesarah
    Quote from TDub
    The same reflex that keeps you from rolling out of a strange bed keeps you from rolling over on an infant.
    I love that- never looked at it that way!

    I am a big supporter of safe cosleeping as an option for parents though I know it wouldn't be a good option for me, if I ever had kids. We have 2 chihuahuas (5#12oz & 13#) who sleep in our bed with us. I've woken up a couple times with the bigger one almost completely underneath me. But, he's odd like that, he's wedged himself in behind the couch cushions a couple times- the smaller the space, the better.
  11. by   purl
    We had a family bed, which to us meant infants usually sleeping with us, toddlers usually falling asleep in their own beds and coming to join us anytime during the night. And it stopped when they were ready for it to stop. Actually my husband and I recently were talking about how much we missed it. There is a great book called "Family Bed" that you should read. I think drug or alcohol use is definately a risk, and you shouldn't have infants with you then.
  12. by   crissrn27
    Quote from stevielynn
    I agree . . . .

    "Co-sleeping" doesn't kill babies . . . . . being unsafe might.

    steph
    Perfectly said:spin:
  13. by   harperlee
    I raised four kids and the last three all slept in my bed when they were infants. I normally wouldn't put the baby in the middle between my husband and I during the middle of the night, but had the baby on the edge of the bed on my side. I had a netted railing which protected her from falling off the bed. sometimes I had a bassinet by my bed and would do a transfer. Almost every night the baby slept with me. I breastfed and got plenty of sleep. When baby woke up and was hungry she found the nipple and had her meal as I drifted off to sleep. I never came close to rolling over on her or crushing her. There is a good book called "Nightime Parenting" that discusses this. I'va always done what comes natural to me, including breastfeeding in 1981, when it wasn't popular yet. It just seemed like the logical thing to do, as did sharing sleep time with my little one.

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