baby sleeping in same bed as parents

[SaderNurse05]

Someone who is related to me has a new baby. They mentioned by the way the baby has slept in their bed with them every night for his 8 week old life. I am worried they will accidently crush the baby, not mention a host of other issues. They basically told me this is what they want to do. I need help- what do my friends at All Nurses say?? Does this fall in the category of parental decisions and butt out?

Thanks in advance

Margaret

[studentmidwifekitty]

I find it interesting that mothers who have their babies sleep in bed with them are criticised, but no-one criticises mothers who put their babies to sleep in a room on their own. Babies under 6 months should sleep in the same room as their parents, preferably in a cot by the parents' bed. Young babies don't need their own space, or need to learn to sleep in a room on their own, as sleeping in a room on their own increases the risk of SIDS.

http://www.fsid.org.uk/share-a-room.html

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

In my area they have had FOUR newborns within the last 60 days to die of rollover death....this is in one county.

I'm not a nurse, but I read alot on this subject...when you put a newborn in bed with the mother, you increase the risk of that child dying from rollover by 30%.

But were these FOUR newborns' parents following the safe co-sleeping rules?

And where is the 30% figure from?

steph

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

I am an OB nurse and have been for 10 years. I work in a small community hospital with about 450 deliveries/year, and in that time, we have had 2 moms fall asleep with their babies in their beds post-partum, and the babies have fallen to the floor. These were not medicated mothers. We have a "rooming in" policy but the mothers are always welcomed to send their babies to the nursery. Moms don't think this could happen to them! Of course they didn't intend for it to happen, but they underestimate just how tired they are. The fatigue only worsens once home! Thankfully both babies had no injuries but I don't know if the moms will ever get over the guilt and shame they felt.

An even worse incident was a mom who was brought her baby in the night to breastfeed. When the nurse checked 20 min or so later, mom had dozed off, sitting up in bed and baby had slipped off the breast and was lying with it's head under her (large) breast and had suffocated and died.

Scary things can happen.

As a mother of 3, and a nurse, I would NEVER sleep with an infant in my bed! I even got up to nurse my babies. It's just not worth it to me. If I want to cuddle them in my bed, I do it during the day when I am fully awake.

Just one more opinion!

Putting babies in a hospital bed is not safe - it is a twin bed size with open rails. This is not part of using the safe co-sleeping rules.

As to the mom with the large breasts falling asleep and suffocating her sweet babe, the same thing could happen in a chair in the living room and had nothing to do with being in a bed.

steph

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

I absolutely agree that it is a matter of choice, but as you can see by the examples I gave in my earlier post, there are potential dangers!

I sort of look at it like using a car seat. My parents didn't use them, I'm fine. I've never been in a car accident with any of my kids in the car with me, but they are all in car seats appropriate for their ages/sizes. Chances are they'd be fine without the car seats...I'm just not willing to take the risk.

I've always been of the mindset that if I ever did ANYTHING that resulted in harm to one of my children, and I knew ahead of time that there was even a tiny potential of harm, I'd NEVER be able to forgive myself. That's just me. Obviously kids get hurt accidently all the time and we can't protect them 100% of the time, but if it's in my control, I'm going to err on the side of caution all the time.

I think you are comparing apples and oranges with your car seat example.

Of course going without a car seat is dangerous and was dangerous when I was young and I'm probably lucky to be alive. And of course using a car seat now is safer.

But if you use good judgment and follow the rules about safe co-sleeping, that doesn't equal NOT using a car seat.

Take a look at the fairly strict co-sleeping rules that Dr. Sears recommends.

steph

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

i think the idea of sleeping with your infant is lovely but in reality is it

d-a-n-g-e-r-o-u-s.

if you follow the safe co-sleeping rules, it is not dangerous.

just because someone does it and nothing happened doesn't mean it's okay or safe.

if someone uses the rules, it is okay and safe.

secondly, children need their own space. they need to learn to fall asleep on their own.

i disagree that children need their own space as newborns - it is safer to have them in the room with you, at least in a bassinet or crib or extension on the side of the bed. and they do fall asleep on their own in the family bed.

i think it's fine to mention to the family member that what they're doing is dangerous or perhaps print off some info from the net to give them. beyond that they will do what they want to and better to say a prayer and let it go.

dr. sears is a well-respected physician and his advice has been extensively studied and i think to be completely educated, parents need to make an informed choice about this. i've never ever said all parents must do this to be good parents, but those of us who do co-sleep in a safe way following the rules are also good parents.

steph:icon_hug:

[deann52]

I never had a problem with my babies sleeping with me. Except for the snoring :) Most other countries in the world actually think it is really weird to have babies sleep in a crib let alone in thier own room...

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

young babies don't need their own space, or need to learn to sleep in a room on their own, as sleeping in a room on their own increases the risk of sids.

where did i say they needed to be in their own room? mine were in a bassinette right next to the bed so i could hear them breathing!

despite the possible pros, the u.s. consumer product safety commission (cpsc) warns parents not to place their infants to sleep in adult beds, stating that the practice puts babies at risk of suffocation and strangulation. and the american academy of pediatrics (aap) is in agreement with the cpsc.

cosleeping is a widespread practice in many non-western cultures. however, differences in mattresses, bedding, and other cultural practices may account for the lower risk in these countries as compared with the united states.

according to the cpsc, at least 515 deaths were linked to infants and toddlers sleeping in adult beds from more than 75% of those deaths involved infants who were under 3 months old. between january 1999 and december 2001, the cpsc reported that more than 100 children under the age of 2 years (98% were less than 1 year old) died after being placed to sleep on an adult bed.

four primary hazards of infants sleeping in an adult bed:

• suffocation caused by an adult rolling on top of or next to a baby
  
• suffocation when an infant gets trapped or wedged between a mattress and headboard, nightstand, wall, or other rigid object
  
• suffocation resulting from a baby being face-down on a waterbed, a regular mattress, or on soft bedding such as pillows, blankets, or quilts
  
• strangulation in a headboard or footboard that allows part of an infant's body to pass through an area while trapping the baby's head

despite these potential risks, some people dispute the cpsc's findings. cosleeping advocates say it isn't inherently dangerous and that the cpsc went too far in recommending that parents never sleep with children under 2 years of age. according to supporters of cosleeping, parents won't roll over onto a baby because they're conscious of the baby's presence — even during sleep.

those who should not cosleep with an infant, however, include:

• other children — particularly toddlers — because they might not be aware of the baby's presence
  
• parents who are under the influence of alcohol or any drug because that could diminish their awareness of the baby
  
• parents who smoke because the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (sids) is greater

but can cosleeping cause sids? the connection between cosleeping and sids is unclear and research is ongoing. some cosleeping researchers have suggested that it can reduce the risk of sids because cosleeping parents and babies tend to wake up more often throughout the night. however, the aap reports that some studies suggest that, under certain conditions, cosleeping may increase the risk of sids, especially cosleeping environments involving mothers who smoke.

in addition to the potential safety risks, sharing a bed with a baby can sometimes prevent parents from getting a good night's sleep. and infants who cosleep can learn to associate sleep with being close to a parent in the parent's bed, which may become a problem at naptime or when the infant needs to go to sleep before the parent is ready.

http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/cosleeping.html

[clee1]

Not at my house.... not ever.

Not only is it potentially dangerous, it sets a precedent I'd rather not have to break later on.

[momtoseven]

I have seven children all who have slept with us. Easier with breastfeeding as well as peace of mind. It is all a matter of personal opinion.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

where did i say they needed to be in their own room? mine were in a bassinette right next to the bed so i could hear them breathing!

***secondly, children need their own space.***sorry, i interpreted this to mean their own bedroom. i apologize. :-)

despite the possible pros, the u.s. consumer product safety commission (cpsc) warns parents not to place their infants to sleep in adult beds, stating that the practice puts babies at risk of suffocation and strangulation. and the american academy of pediatrics (aap) is in agreement with the cpsc.

cosleeping is a widespread practice in many non-western cultures. however, differences in mattresses, bedding, and other cultural practices may account for the lower risk in these countries as compared with the united states.

according to the cpsc, at least 515 deaths were linked to infants and toddlers sleeping in adult beds from more than 75% of those deaths involved infants who were under 3 months old. between january 1999 and december 2001, the cpsc reported that more than 100 children under the age of 2 years (98% were less than 1 year old) died after being placed to sleep on an adult bed.

four primary hazards of infants sleeping in an adult bed:

• suffocation caused by an adult rolling on top of or next to a baby
  
• suffocation when an infant gets trapped or wedged between a mattress and headboard, nightstand, wall, or other rigid object
  
• suffocation resulting from a baby being face-down on a waterbed, a regular mattress, or on soft bedding such as pillows, blankets, or quilts
  
• strangulation in a headboard or footboard that allows part of an infant's body to pass through an area while trapping the baby's head

despite these potential risks, some people dispute the cpsc's findings. cosleeping advocates say it isn't inherently dangerous and that the cpsc went too far in recommending that parents never sleep with children under 2 years of age. according to supporters of cosleeping, parents won't roll over onto a baby because they're conscious of the baby's presence — even during sleep.

those who should not cosleep with an infant, however, include:

• other children — particularly toddlers — because they might not be aware of the baby's presence
  
• parents who are under the influence of alcohol or any drug because that could diminish their awareness of the baby
  
• parents who smoke because the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (sids) is greater

but can cosleeping cause sids? the connection between cosleeping and sids is unclear and research is ongoing. some cosleeping researchers have suggested that it can reduce the risk of sids because cosleeping parents and babies tend to wake up more often throughout the night. however, the aap reports that some studies suggest that, under certain conditions, cosleeping may increase the risk of sids, especially cosleeping environments involving mothers who smoke.

in addition to the potential safety risks, sharing a bed with a baby can sometimes prevent parents from getting a good night's sleep. and infants who cosleep can learn to associate sleep with being close to a parent in the parent's bed, which may become a problem at naptime or when the infant needs to go to sleep before the parent is ready.

http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/cosleeping.html

good morning - if you look at the link from dr. sears, it addresses the above issues and refutes them. (especially the sids stuff).

as i said, there are safe co-sleeping rules that minimize risks.

co-sleeping enabled me to actually get more sleep since i could breastfeed my babies before they fully came awake screaming. i think that is one of the draws for parents. more sleep.

and all parents should be educated to make their own choice.

steph

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Not at my house.... not ever.

Not only is it potentially dangerous, it sets a precedent I'd rather not have to break later on.

And I completely agree with you that you should make the choice for your own family. No criticism here.

My oldest son turned 24 yesterday and there was no precedent set for him regarding co-sleeping . . he sleeps on his own quite well. Actually, our three older kids were in their own beds by about 2 but with our last little guy, who was a surprise to parents in their 40's we are realizing how quickly kids grow up and are taking the time to enjoy having a little one again. So, he is 5 and still sleeps with us although he is being transitioned into his own bed down the hall. Our other kids are 17 and 22 and they also sleep in their own beds w/o trouble. :) (I just remembered one time when our #2 son had a nightmare and came downstairs to sleep at the end of our bed - he wouldn't get in the bed with us but was too scared to go back upstairs - we live in a creaky old house - so he just stayed at the foot of the bed.)

I guess I don't see the need to make co-sleeping families feel like we are doing something dangerous IF we follow the rules.

It worked for my family and others and I for one will continue to educate parents on safe co-sleeping.

steph

[justme1972]

But were these FOUR newborns' parents following the safe co-sleeping rules?

And where is the 30% figure from?

steph

The 30% figure is from Dr. Michael Baden. I'm a huge fan of his and this stat was quoted when he was asked to investigate a death of twins that BOTH died in bed with the mother....but this particular case, the death of the twins were different, the mother took them to bed with her and was highly intoxicated when she did.

The same mother also had lost a prior infant to a rollover death when she was NOT intoxicated. I can still remember the mother crying, "The research you read is so conflicting whether you should sleep or not sleep with your baby."

I think another poster said it best....just because something didn't happen to one baby doesn't automatically render it a safe practice. Was it because you (and I mean that in the plural sense) got lucky or was it because you were a light sleeper or had a "safe" practice that you believed that worked?

Mothers, myself included (and I'll admit here I took a nap or two with my twins, but not until they were nearly one), have to decide: Can you live with the worst possible consequence if you make that choice?

When my kids were newborns, no matter how sleep deprived I was, were never in my bed. I would have probably been suicidal if something happened to them.

However, when get my RN...if I am speaking as a healthcare practitioner, there is no way I could condone that to a mother. The co-sleepers that attach to the side of the mattress are amazing things and I really wished I had had one. Instead I kept the two bassinets by my bedside until they were old enough for a crib.