baby sleeping in same bed as parents

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Someone who is related to me has a new baby. They mentioned by the way the baby has slept in their bed with them every night for his 8 week old life. I am worried they will accidently crush the baby, not mention a host of other issues. They basically told me this is what they want to do. I need help- what do my friends at All Nurses say?? Does this fall in the category of parental decisions and butt out?

Thanks in advance

Margaret

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
I don't think we have all the answers. We are something like 35th, 45th in the world in infant mortality. That's a damn shame. Nothing against Cuba, but they are ahead of us on some rankings. Yeesh!

I was wondering when someone would bring up our high infant mortality rate...

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Specializes in OB, critical care, hospice, farm/industr.

My personal theory is that there's such a difference between the haves and the have-nots in our society. Those of us who have a little money and healthcare and have some control over our lives can muddle along. The ones who don't muddle along like the Joads, lurching from disaster to disaster, dropping like flies from disease, violence, neglect and ignorance.

Reminds me of Dickens' Want and Ignorance in A Christmas Carol and brings me to tears.

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The same reflex that keeps you from rolling out of a strange bed keeps you from rolling over on an infant.

I love that- never looked at it that way!

I am a big supporter of safe cosleeping as an option for parents though I know it wouldn't be a good option for me, if I ever had kids. We have 2 chihuahuas (5#12oz & 13#) who sleep in our bed with us. I've woken up a couple times with the bigger one almost completely underneath me. But, he's odd like that, he's wedged himself in behind the couch cushions a couple times- the smaller the space, the better.

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We had a family bed, which to us meant infants usually sleeping with us, toddlers usually falling asleep in their own beds and coming to join us anytime during the night. And it stopped when they were ready for it to stop. Actually my husband and I recently were talking about how much we missed it. There is a great book called "Family Bed" that you should read. I think drug or alcohol use is definately a risk, and you shouldn't have infants with you then.

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Specializes in nursery, L and D.
I agree . . . .

"Co-sleeping" doesn't kill babies . . . . . being unsafe might.

steph

Perfectly said

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I raised four kids and the last three all slept in my bed when they were infants. I normally wouldn't put the baby in the middle between my husband and I during the middle of the night, but had the baby on the edge of the bed on my side. I had a netted railing which protected her from falling off the bed. sometimes I had a bassinet by my bed and would do a transfer. Almost every night the baby slept with me. I breastfed and got plenty of sleep. When baby woke up and was hungry she found the nipple and had her meal as I drifted off to sleep. I never came close to rolling over on her or crushing her. There is a good book called "Nightime Parenting" that discusses this. I'va always done what comes natural to me, including breastfeeding in 1981, when it wasn't popular yet. It just seemed like the logical thing to do, as did sharing sleep time with my little one.

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Someone who is related to me has a new baby. They mentioned by the way the baby has slept in their bed with them every night for his 8 week old life. I am worried they will accidently crush the baby, not mention a host of other issues. They basically told me this is what they want to do. I need help- what do my friends at All Nurses say?? Does this fall in the category of parental decisions and butt out?

Thanks in advance

Margaret

Tell them dont do it please !!!!!!!!!!!

it will end in tears

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

My cousin's friend had a 6 week old boy who would sometimes sleep in the bed with her and her husband while she breastfed the baby. The baby died 2 days ago from SIDS. I'm not sure if it had anything to do with the baby sleeping in the bed with them (I didn't hear the whole story), but it's very sad. Either way, I think it can be a huge risk IMO--I'd definitely be afraid of rolling and over and smothering the baby at night.

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Specializes in High Risk In Patient OB/GYN.
Tell them dont do it please !!!!!!!!!!!

it will end in tears

Maybe you need to dust off that crystal ball of yours....

My former cosleeper is now 8 years old. No teary ending, I can assure you.

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Specializes in nursery, L and D.

I think we pretty much covered the co sleeping portion of this, I won't reiterate. Some people just aren't going to be swayed, they have their minds made up (I do as well;)) and that is their right, just as it is my right to believe in safe co sleeping. But I don't believe people need to tell other people what to do or not to do, in a situation like this, without knowing why they decided this or how they are going about it. In 20 years, if the peds are telling people its not safe to put the baby in a crib, and I have a friend that does it, I don't think I will tell her not to. Her choice, and hopefully an informed one.

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Maybe you need to dust off that crystal ball of yours....

My former cosleeper is now 8 years old. No teary ending, I can assure you.

My 24 y.o., my 22 y.o., my 17 y.o., and my 5 y.o. are all just fine too. No teary endings.

I agree that this has all been covered - the safe co-sleeping rules have been reiterated over and over.

It is up to each family to decide this - however, having the rules is the best idea.

steph

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Specializes in NICU.
http://www.slate.com/id/2020/ :)
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