any comment? - page 4
Hello, I have finally decided to join this forum for maybe somebody somewhere is in the same situation I am in right now, and maybe that very person could advise me on what I can possibly do. I have... Read More
Feb 16, '07Sam, she has absolutely no experience. No school district is going to hire her without experience.
Feb 16, '07Have you tried to send the children to visit grandma or other family member for 2-3 weeks, that way you can at least start your orientation?
That's the only other thing I could think about, everyone else have gave you great tips.
Feb 16, '07Quote from TazziRNYou're probably right, Tazzi, but it doesn't hurt to look into it.Sam, she has absolutely no experience. No school district is going to hire her without experience.
I looked on the Houston ISD website and they are currently looking for a part-time school nurse and the job posting lists requirements as bachelors degree, RN, Tx DL. It says clinical experience preferred, but doesn't say required. Doesn't hurt to try, ya know, especially if all other options aren't working out.
Feb 16, '07I agree with all of you that I should get working as a nurse, leave my husband to protect the kids, and free my self from this hopeless situation. I am a very patient person and as long as my kids are safe I can weather any storm, and wait for an opportunity to do the right thing. It used to be much worse in the past when I still had my dignity and fire, now I know how to keep the household quiet so, my kids are not affected . I am going to try to network in their school, even though, it might take some time to do it because I just enrolled them last Fall. It is a Christian school and the people are very nice, and I am hopefull I will be able to work things out in order for me to complete the training and start my nursing career. I know there still are good people out there willing to help, and once I see an opportunity to turn my life around I will certainly do it. Thank you all for the support and prayers. I've always known nurses are amazing people and one day I want to be just like them.
Feb 16, '07Quote from unwanted RNI It used to be much worse in the past when I still had my dignity and fire, now I know how to keep the household quiet so, my kids are not affected .
I hate to tell you but his abuse has already started the downward spiral. If you have to change yourself to "keep the household quiet" then things have gotten bad.
This is how is starts...you keep things quiet, then something else will set him off. It could be something you would NEVER think of. It's a vicious circle and only leaving will change it.
For your sake and the kids sake.....get out now, before something big happens.
Feb 16, '07Quote from unwanted RNI'm taking up with Tazzi. WantedRN, Your children are NOT NOT NOT safe with this man!!!! As long as you are endangered, your children CANNOT get what they need. The "right thing" is to KEEP YOUR CHILDREN SAFE. They need a mother who is safe. Even though it sounds like the abuse is focused at you, your children are still around it. They're still suffering. They're still forced to be in an abusive situation. They're still experiencing the emotional abuse, whether it seems obvious or not. There are so many resources out there; it's time to use them.I am a very patient person and as long as my kids are safe I can weather any storm, and wait for an opportunity to do the right thing.
Feb 16, '07Sounds like a good idea to talk to your husband,family etc. I would also talk with your supervisor. They may come up with something. But, welcome to nursing. Most every parent that is a nurse has this problem. The hours suck, most hospitals don't care if you like it or not. To be honest, most nurses that we work with don't care. Four years is a long time to come to the realization of what nursing and it's down sides are. But, I'm sure somehting will work out for you. How about travel nurse or nursing home. Usually they are crying for nurses. They may be more willing to work with you.
Feb 16, '07Will the school give you a part time position? Christian schools are less sstringent on some issues. Check on day care that delivers and pick-up the kids, then check on LTC< insurance companies, physician's office, day clinics. My cousin got a job in Fla without experience in a day clinic, just
0800-1600. She loves it. Good luck. I will not advise you on the hubby situation, just know I will add you to my prayers. Be blessed. Sometimes the walls someone puts up are torn down by a higher power and the experience is very humbling.
Feb 16, '07Quote from lauralassiePlease tell me that you are kidding!!How about travel nurse . Usually they are crying for nurses. They may be more willing to work with you.
First, no reputable or ethical travel group, or assignment will take you without at least one year of solid experience. That means work full schedules, not calling off because of child care issues, etc.
Quite bluntly, one really needs more to travel, but that is the MINIMUM requirement. And while agencies will take apps from people with less, most facilities will not accept you for assignments unless they are truly the pits, and cannot get anyone else. These are not safe places for your license.
Second, if anything travel nursing requires the nurse to be MORE flexible and MORE reliable, adhering to the rules and the schedule more stringently than the regular staffer.
Think about it. Travelers are there to fill a hole in the schedule. There are holes in the schedule generally because those positions are the hardest, the most annoying and the most difficult to fill by regular staff. You often get the worst shifts, and rarely get a regular shift - those go (rightfully) to regular staff.
Do you think if the OP cannot get her hospital (that has a vested interest in her and her success) to amend a schedule for her, what are the chances of a nonvested facility wanting to give a temp nurse a preferred set of hours?
Yes, travel groups are desperate for nurses....nurses that do not have problems working any schedule, that are very experienced in their speciality, that have few encumberances. We are frequently obligated to work 44- 48 hours or more a week. And we are generally not given leeway on calling off scheduled shifts - more than one or two and our assignment is cancelled, leaving us having to exit our housing in 24-48 hours, and find our way home, sometimes being billed for the cancellation.
Travelling would not be a good fit for the OP at this time. She also needs more emotional and social support than would be available to a traveler.Last edit by caroladybelle on Feb 16, '07
Feb 16, '07Hello Caroladybelle, I actually completelly agree with you. I already have done every possible research on nursing entry level jobs outside of hospital, and without any experience nobody will hire me. I am also aware of the fact that nursing is a career which requires professionalism and reliability of physical and emotional caliber. I went into nursing because I love the profession and had every intent to be a reliable and responsible nurse. Calling off shifts and being a burden on my fellow nurses because of issues with my children would be the least thing I would like to do. I am just looking for a way to accomplish the training and start working shifts, once I am done with that I can work nights on weekends and have a sitter during the day. I am working out a plan to leave my husband, but I need to make sure that it does a minimal damage to my kids. I figured I could train during summer when kids don't go to school and have a sitter with them. I didn't think of that before, it just occured to me half an hour ago and made my cheeks all red out of excitement. It might actually work
Feb 16, '07I don't know what to say to help. Just please know that you are a worthwhile, beautiful person that has every right to live in peace and to guide her own destiny by making her own decisions. You should be very proud of your accomplishment by getting your RN, how difficult that must have been with all you were dealing with. I know that leaving will be very hard, and perhaps dangerous. Be exceedingly smart about it and know that one day you will look back at it as the best thing you ever did. You now have the education to support your children on your own, many women do not have that when leaving an abusive situation. I HATE telling another person that I feel they should leave their spouse, but in your situation, I feel you must. Plus I know that in abusive situations, a woman will hardly ever tell others right away the true extent of the abuse, so I feel that your situation may be even worse than we know. My thoughts are with you. Please let us know how you are doing.
Feb 16, '07Quote from caroladybelleWhoa! Down, girl, and cap those fangs!!! I have never traveled but I work for a hospital that at one time relied heavily on travelers. We are not "the pits" and we did not give them the crappy shifts. We treated our travelers so well that a large handful of them have not only extended their contracts or come back later for repeat contracts, they have even signed on as "real" staff. I do not claim that all places are like ours, but all places are not the way you described, either.And while agencies will take apps from people with less, most facilities will not accept you for assignments unless they are truly the pits, and cannot get anyone else. These are not safe places for your license. Travelers are there to fill a hole in the schedule. There are holes in the schedule generally because those positions are the hardest, the most annoying and the most difficult to fill by regular staff. You often get the worst shifts, and rarely get a regular shift - those go (rightfully) to regular staff.
Feb 17, '07I'm trying to be tactful here, but I'm honest.
Your husband needs to participate as a parent. Unless there is something you aren't saying, there is NO reason for him to not participate in the rearing and careing for your children. Take a kid to school? My husband loves to do that for our kid, and he likes the time to spend with small talk in the car. You aren't asking for much.
Finding a sitter is another option.
If your husband is all that and a loaf of bread, then find a hospital that does not require that shift change stuff, that way you can keep him and your job.
If you end up stuck at home and losing your job, you will, in time, realize how unjust the situation is, and your bitterness to your husband will grow. Do you want to live the rest of your life mad at your husband, and mad at yourself for not putting your foot down?
Perhaps you need to be posting your solicitation for help on a marriage/ relationship board. This situation doesn't sound like a job problem. I even wonder if you have permited him to walk on you throughout the duration of your marriage (being the wonderful wife you thought you should be).
Personally, if it were me, it wouldn't have even gotten this far. I think I would've delivered his stuff to wherever his business is and let him live there. You are his wife and friend in addition to the mother of his children. You aren't a plow ox.
I wish the very best for you.