Hello, I have finally decided to join this forum for maybe somebody somewhere is in the same situation I am in right now, and maybe that very person could advise me on what I can possibly do. I have graduated with BSN last year in May and ever since I have stayed home taking care of my children unable to work. My problem is that I am doing all the parenting myself because my husband has started his business and somehow thinks it is below him to help me at least take the children to school in the morning, even though he leaves home around 10:30 am to his office! as a result I am unable to begin any training or internships which are available only in hospitals and are all day. The internships include classes, certifications, and of course rotating shifts which are 7 am to 7 pm for about 2 months. There is absolutely no way I can do this because I have to take the kids to school in teh morning and pick them up 3:30. I told the hospitals that I can train between 8am and 3:30pm to learn skills and see how the shifts work, and work full 12 hour shifts on weekends nights, but they say I had to experience the shift changes at 7 am and 7 pm. So, my inability to complete the internship lies in not being able to attend the shift changes. During my school practicum I have done about 200 or more shift changes and I am very familiar with them it is not a new concept so, I cannot understand why all teh hospitals are so adamant about the shift change? I am more concern about learning my skills that might be new to me. At this point I am so frustrated because not a single hospital in Houston has enough sense to offer me some flexibility . I have an active license and offering enough time to train, but I cannot because of some inconvenient standards . Unwanted RN whose license is rotting away.
I feel for you in this situation. But because nursing is a 24 hours job, it can't and won't stop and start to fit our individual schedules. I am not suprised that you haven't been able to find the new grad/orientation program that you are looking for. And I doubt that you will be able too. As you know, when the shift starts, there is a lot of information to review and tasks to organize, so coming into the shift late is very difficult for both you and your preceptor, then suddenly needing to leave halfway through does not give you the full training and the ability to organize yourself as well as leaving both your patients and your preceptor hanging.
I can not tell you how to fix your family life but I do wish you well and I hope a solution is forthcoming soon.
this may sound cruel- but - it worked for me- leave the kids at home telling him what time and hwere the kids need to be- then off to work. when the school calls a few times looking for the kids he will either get a clue ( mine didnt ) or school will call social services and when social services comes to the door and talks to you and your hubby you tell the social worker well i leave for work and he needs to get them to school and when he has no absolute excuse as to why he cant do it they will talk to himand possibly put him in a parenting class.- once social services steps in adn "talks " to them - they may just step up to the plate. or if you wish to you can cal social services yourself explain the situation letting them know that he isnt doing his job- they will probably inform you that you ahve a choice to leave him- well - wether you do or not os not an issue in my book - and even if you odnt want to leve him he needs to pitch in - like i said - when i hav trouble with DH not doing his job - social services has been pretty good here.
you may want to look at the situation through others eyes thoughh - being totally trthful - mine had NO excuse ( no job , sits on his butt yada yada) - have him show you WHY he cant do it - is that time neded for preps for presentations or what - perhaps he would agree to daycare -
Hello, I have finally decided to join this forum for maybe somebody somewhere is in the same situation I am in right now, and maybe that very person could advise me on what I can possibly do. I have graduated with BSN last year in May and ever since I have stayed home taking care of my children unable to work. My problem is that I am doing all the parenting myself because my husband has started his business and somehow thinks it is below him to help me at least take the children to school in the morning, even though he leaves home around 10:30 am to his office! as a result I am unable to begin any training or internships which are available only in hospitals and are all day. The internships include classes, certifications, and of course rotating shifts which are 7 am to 7 pm for about 2 months. There is absolutely no way I can do this because I have to take the kids to school in teh morning and pick them up 3:30. I told the hospitals that I can train between 8am and 3:30pm to learn skills and see how the shifts work, and work full 12 hour shifts on weekends nights, but they say I had to experience the shift changes at 7 am and 7 pm. So, my inability to complete the internship lies in not being able to attend the shift changes. During my school practicum I have done about 200 or more shift changes and I am very familiar with them it is not a new concept so, I cannot understand why all teh hospitals are so adamant about the shift change? I am more concern about learning my skills that might be new to me. At this point I am so frustrated because not a single hospital in Houston has enough sense to offer me some flexibility . I have an active license and offering enough time to train, but I cannot because of some inconvenient standards . Unwanted RN whose license is rotting away.
Have you considered LTC? Most facilities are desperately in need of dedicated RNs. Perhaps you would find a LTC facility that would be willing to be flexible about orientation.
my question is this- if she cant get to orientation - the hours for the "real" job isnt gonna change - so realy there isnt a differnce- either way the hours are what they are.
second - he sounds abusive and if i recall she said physically as well - i too wen thorugh that kind of relationship - get to a shelter with the kids- they will help you get set up and you will be proabbaly in a bigger city where things such as daycare and such are more accessible.
OP - i know its easier said then done- hang in there - prayers going out to you and your kids. took my ex near hurting my kid before i left - never again -
I agree with all of you that I should get working as a nurse, leave my husband to protect the kids, and free my self from this hopeless situation. I am a very patient person and as long as my kids are safe I can weather any storm, and wait for an opportunity to do the right thing. It used to be much worse in the past when I still had my dignity and fire, now I know how to keep the household quiet so, my kids are not affected . I am going to try to network in their school, even though, it might take some time to do it because I just enrolled them last Fall. It is a Christian school and the people are very nice, and I am hopefull I will be able to work things out in order for me to complete the training and start my nursing career. I know there still are good people out there willing to help, and once I see an opportunity to turn my life around I will certainly do it. Thank you all for the support and prayers. I've always known nurses are amazing people and one day I want to be just like them.
your kids are being effected and its unfortunate- witnessing dad subdue you into submission shows them tyhat that is how to treat women ( or i if you have a daughter that that is how men are to treat women and they are to be quiet ) leaving them open to either abuse others or be abused as they grow into teens adn adults.
Hello Caroladybelle, I actually completelly agree with you. I already have done every possible research on nursing entry level jobs outside of hospital, and without any experience nobody will hire me. I am also aware of the fact that nursing is a career which requires professionalism and reliability of physical and emotional caliber. I went into nursing because I love the profession and had every intent to be a reliable and responsible nurse. Calling off shifts and being a burden on my fellow nurses because of issues with my children would be the least thing I would like to do. I am just looking for a way to accomplish the training and start working shifts, once I am done with that I can work nights on weekends and have a sitter during the day. I am working out a plan to leave my husband, but I need to make sure that it does a minimal damage to my kids. I figured I could train during summer when kids don't go to school and have a sitter with them. I didn't think of that before, it just occured to me half an hour ago and made my cheeks all red out of excitement. It might actually work
if i had it all over to do again - i knoiw now the minimal damage to my kids owuld have been done by just leaving - going to an abuse shelter - getting thhe help i needed and got out on my own with my kids - just what i see now having been there done that.
I traveled for a couple of years and found that the facilities I worked in were GREAT. The staff was very nice and my assignments were no different than theirs.
To Wanted RN, I am going to have to just be blunt.
Do what ever you have to do to leave that jerk.
You have the means to give your children a good life financially. And I am sorry if this sounds too harsh, but it is your responsibility to get them out of that situation. YOU will be responsible for their emotional and personality scarring if you choose to stay.
please everyone- "just leave" is easier said than done in most cases of abuse- please do not give an added guilt trip onto anyone that is in one saying "if you dont leave its your fault they are scarred" - we who stay are not totally ignorant - we KNOW we have scarred our kids in some way but it is not SOLEY our doing. just an fYI for foks from someone who hs gone through just what this woman is going through..........,
If your children are in elementary school... most schools have a before school/after school program. My daughters school opens at 6am before school starts. They serve them breakfast and they get to work on homework or play in the gym... after school starts immediately afterwards and continues until 6pm when they must be picked up. They give them a snack after school and they again can work on homework or do organized activities or games etc...
I am fortunate to be home while I'm attending school... but I've looked into this as I had a class that conflicted with my children's school time....
It is relatively inexpensive too...
FWIW... I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I don't know your personal situation, but your husband sounds like he needs a heart to heart with you. He really needs to step up to the plate and realize that your family is a unit that needs to work together. No one is more important than anyone else at any given time. Good luck to you. I hope you can work it out... the world needs more nurses like yourself!
ETA: I just read most of the posts on here (I try not to do it until after I post so I don't sway one way or another)... but I agree... your husband does sound very controlling and abusive. I pray that you can find a way to remove yourself and your children from that situation and do what you can to take care of yourself. Good luck to you.
Burnnurse63
2 Posts
I feel for you in this situation. But because nursing is a 24 hours job, it can't and won't stop and start to fit our individual schedules. I am not suprised that you haven't been able to find the new grad/orientation program that you are looking for. And I doubt that you will be able too. As you know, when the shift starts, there is a lot of information to review and tasks to organize, so coming into the shift late is very difficult for both you and your preceptor, then suddenly needing to leave halfway through does not give you the full training and the ability to organize yourself as well as leaving both your patients and your preceptor hanging.
I can not tell you how to fix your family life but I do wish you well and I hope a solution is forthcoming soon.