"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant) - page 17

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i... Read More

  1. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Quote from RN4NICU
    I have long since lost track of every post on this thread, but I don't recall anyone ever telling Fun2Care to give up nursing or EMT or criminal justice bc she has kids. What people HAVE said is don't expect special treatment because you have kids and if you feel that you HAVE to have every holiday off to be with your kids than the above mentioned professions may not be for you.
    Roger that.
  2. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    I never once said those of us with children should get special treatment. However, several have said maybe we should look into another profession that is not 24/7. Just because I would "want" to be home with my children, doesn't mean that I will expect that.

    I'm old enough, and intelligent enough to realize that will not usually occur.

    I never said that I would expect someone to give up their Christmas because they don't have children. I did say, that is not right for someone to say that to another person.

    I have repeatedly said I "DO" agree with Marie's being upset.

    Personally, I have purposely discontinued to engage in everyone's back and forth discrimination.

    So, I have been everyone's punching bag....whatever....this thread has been seriously beaten to the ground.

    Have a good one.
  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    No, you are no one's punching bag. I am sorry you feel that way---what we are saying, is no one entering nursing should feel they have to be home for holidays due to their kids' needs superceding those of others with differing family structures. I am sorry you feel you are being specifically picked-on. It's not meant that way. I guess a lot of people saw your first post here and maybe mistook it/misunderstood what you were trying to convey. No one means you harm. You are right; in later posts you did clarify more.

    The bottom line of this OP's problem *was* people feeling like they need to be home for Christmas for their kids. The problems this attitude create are obvious in Marie's original post-----making others feel their family needs/holidays somehow don't matter as much because they are not parents.

    Kids are just about as resilient as we allow them to be. Many of us have learned through the years to teach them Christmas (or any other Holy Day) is more than one day----and should be celebrated throughout the year---and that the traditions of opening presents and eating a big family meal can be carried out, perhaps on alternative dates or times. Even the smallest kids can understand this, if we help them to; I know that first-hand. I often think the one most-regretful that I can't be home on a given holiday is ME, not my kids. I have learned to temper my behavior to teach them some valuable lessons.

    What is important, is we keep the spirit intended for that special day----- not to do so means we miss out on teaching our kids some very valuable lessons about others' needs/situations and suffering (remember patients are in the hospital, while mom/dad is working and caring for them). They learn there are things bigger then them, which is an important life lesson. We have our kids for YEARS----there is lots of time next year to be home on the appointed day, after all.

    We need to be sensitive to the needs of our coworkers at such times, too, no matter what their family structure/situation may be. For some, it may be their mother's/father's or a grandparent's last Christmas on Earth; we can never know what their situation is or just how important it may be for them to be there for a given day, as well.

    Hope this helps.

    deb
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Oct 14, '05
  4. by   Deidre Shiobhan
    I'll be on night duty this Christmas, don't intend to change duty as I'll have more allowance having to work night on a public holiday. Usually the gals will prefer to do night duty because of increased allowance.:chuckle Who doesn't want more money?
  5. by   Tweety
    Quote from Fun2Care
    Personally, I have purposely discontinued to engage in everyone's back and forth discrimination.

    So, I have been everyone's punching bag....whatever....this thread has been seriously beaten to the ground.

    Have a good one.
    Fun, I fail to see where you have engaged in everyone's back and forth discrimination and being everyone's punching bag.

    When you have a bad interaction with someone, take the blinders off and not judge us all and you might feel better about things.

    Sorry you feel that way.
    Last edit by Tweety on Oct 16, '05
  6. by   z's playa
    Quote from sugabuga
    QUOTE: OK.....I have tried to keep my cool long enough on this thread. I realize those with without children believe those who do have children do not have a right to have off "because they have children".

    You DON'T have a right to be off just because you have children. I understand that you want to be off all the holidays. No, you didn't force anyone not to have children but that doesn't matter. People know when they go into nursing what the schedule is like, it's not going to change for you just because you have kids. I'll have kids one day and I can promise you, there is no way that I would EVER ask someone who doesn't have them to switch with me because they don't have any. It's rude and disrespectful. You don't have to choose between children and nursing but you do have to choose how you act around others. You ARE NOT privy to holidays because you have kids.

    Bravo bravo ! Great post. I will keep these words in mind should someone get on my case about her children and the dire need to have holidays off while I should work.

    Another thing....I think it was Tweety and some one else were talking about their parents and how children actually SURVIVE a holiday without parents around. And YES...I also feel it is the parents who make the bigger deal about being there for Xmas.( and no I am NOT saying reinforcing holiday values in your kids is wrong ) EVEN if one says their kids act out if you are absent due to a shift at work on a holiday....where did they learn that from? I am NOT saying it is not ok for them to act out or get upset..just making my point that it is parents who make the biggest deal and the kids learn it from them. Many of my friends had fathers overseas and hardly saw them for xmas...but they managed. It made the following holiday that much more special.

    Respect for each other's status as a parent or as a childless person does not make them any less or more eligible for a day off regardless of the time of year IMHO.

    Z
    Last edit by z's playa on Oct 16, '05
  7. by   z's playa
    Quote from Tweety
    Fun, I fail to see where you have engaged in everyon'es back and forth discrimination and being everyone's punching bag.

    When you have a bad interaction with someone, take the blinders off and not judge us all and you might feel better about things.

    Sorry you feel that way.

    My thoughts exactly Tweety

    Z
  8. by   lbennett_71
    the last few years I have always worked Thanks. well last year I didn't think it would be any problem so I volunteered for Thanks. so I could have Christmas off--I have worked every Christmas Eve and New years day in 7 years--no big deal---however, it was then that they decided to realize that I hadn't worked Christmas in a few years and noticed this AFTER I worked last Thnks... I got stuck working ALL of them and then was told that we were going to start switching this year..a lot of good that did me last year soooo this year I will be working Thanks. and I will be off Christmas--think I might just try to get New Years off too since I got so screwed last year!!! Oh the joys of nursing-too bad we couldn't close for the day!!!! I do agree that it doesn't matter if yuo have kids or not--my mom was a nurse since I was a baby and I didn't die b/c she wasn't there for holidays--we learned to work around them and ADAPT!!!
  9. by   sjrn85
    Words to live by: No good deed goes unpunished.
  10. by   porcelina22
    Quote from Nurse Hatchett
    I do have children and very much wish I could spend every holiday home with them, but I chose to be a nurse and not have a 9-5 M-F job. Therefore I have to make some sacrifices. At my place of employment, on Christmas Day, everyone works 4 hrs. I love this myself. This way no one is stuck there on X-mas for 12 hrs. It works well for us. The other holidays, if you are sched. you work, but if you want it off, use vacation or someone will usually always trade days with you, so they can get the holiday pay. Marie...apparently this co-worker needs to learn to make sacrifices, or find another line of work. As if it is your fault she has children
    I think this is the best solution. Of course, some people may have vacation plans which may make it a bit rough...so maybe they could arrange with someone else to cover their 4 hours? I'm not a nurse yet, but I have been a waitress for 4 years. The only holiday I have ever been guaranteed off is Christmas. I have 3 kids, and we've always managed to work around it. In fact, last year, my hubby and kids went to relatives house for Thanksgiving, but we bought our own turkey and side dishes and made them the day after so I got a Thanksgiving dinner too! The only issue I have is that I would really enjoy having either XMas or XMas Eve off...I don't need both of them, but I would REALLY like one of them. :-)
  11. by   DutchgirlRN
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.

    Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire
    I have children and I totally agree with you Marie. Congratulations to you for getting the much needed time off.
  12. by   tonet0908
    Marie I am so pissed for you and I wasn't even there when it happened. How dare her say that! Ok so people who don't have kids should not have holidays off too! How obnoxious! This woman needs a rude awakening. Everyone is entitled to their time off and there holidays. Noone is better than anyone else. I do not have kids and I would not give up my time off to someone just because they have kids and I don't. There has to be a better reason than that. Keep the faith.
  13. by   yupyup5
    Marie, you need to be telling her, not ranting to us. Nursing profession is filled with nurses ranting to their friends, family, co-worker but not the person they have a problem with....so disfunctional.

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