No, I'm not talking about coaching or clubs. I'm talking about the completely unrelated-to-nursing tasks that you have embraced, or had thrust upon you, in your school nursing role!
My favorites: bugs and drugs. For reasons I cannot understand (but have finally just accepted), I am in charge of capturing and identifying all suspicious insects. I'll put on gloves, I'll bag 'em, I'll take pictures and zoom way in, I'll nod while someone compares them to online photos. I will openly say, "I'm no more qualified to name this bug than you are," or "you really don't study bugs in nursing school," but it seems to make people happy if I squint and appear to take it seriously.
Also, I am in charge of identifying any loose, suspicious medication or substance. I've identified everything from vitamins to Oxycontin (nothing that I administer! Presumably meds that have been stolen, lost or sold and then dropped or hidden).
oh, and I'm also the only staff with no lunch break, and the staff will see me trying to house my sandwich and still send me frequent flyers with no medical issues that "can't concentrate."
I am also the identifier of every stray pill found anywhere in or around the building. Panic had ensued not too long ago as staff presented me with a bright red and blue capsule -
"this looks ominous! I found it in the corner of the room!"
Me: "Its a tylenol"
"Are you sure? It doesn't look like any I've seen!"
Me: "Yes, Its a rapid release caplet" - Throws it away -
*Looks at me as if I've just discarded their crack stash*
Also had a good time talking them off the ledge when a diabetic lancet was found in the parking lot.
One of my diabetics had a hole in her bag and her UNOPENED needles to her insulin pen fell out. Maybe two or three. I had two staff members freaking out. Like, calm down. They aren't opened. And even if they were the kids wouldn't know what to do with them.
As for bugs, for some reason the teachers bring them to me. Even though they've been told numerous times that they are not supposed to as we have a district person whose job it is to identify "specimens". They still bring them to me.
Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Women's Health,School Nursing.
My 2nd year I had a teacher send a student down with her bookbag and there was HUGE spider in it (okay not tarantula sized but any spider is huge to me)--our students have to use clear bookbags so we could see it crawling around. I told her I dont do spiders...she can set her bag outside and grab it when its time to go home if no one else wants to try and capture it....
that was the last bug related issue (other than bedbugs and lice of course) sent to me.
I am the supplier of "all things." Especially things teachers want / need but put no forethought and planning into. Some make sense, others I am like - whaaaaatttttttt?
It is not even what they are asking me for but it is the look of shock on their face when I don't have that object or can't spare to give them 5 boxes of my gloves which would leave me with -2 boxes for my own use.
1. Cotton balls for santa beards.
2. Tongue depressors (????). "I only need 130!"
3. Vaseline - to play a prank on a co-worker. Just reached their hand in there and scooped out most of my jar. And I had just placed an order for supplies and spent all my budget. I was livid, told her she needs to replace it!
4. Borrowed my wheelchair to use as a prop in a play - lost it!!
4. Coffee creamer, inhaler for their bronchitis, mouthwash, toothpicks, pencils, water bottles, a toaster, snacks, glucometer, scrubs, phone charger, dental glue for a crown, etc, etc, etc.
I am the supplier of "all things." Especially things teachers want / need but put no forethought and planning into. Some make sense, others I am like - whaaaaatttttttt?
It is not even what they are asking me for but it is the look of shock on their face when I don't have that object or can't spare to give them 5 boxes of my gloves which would leave me with -2 boxes for my own use.
1. Cotton balls for santa beards.
2. Tongue depressors (????). "I only need 130!"
3. Vaseline - to play a prank on a co-worker. Just reached their hand in there and scooped out most of my jar. And I had just placed an order for supplies and spent all my budget. I was livid, told her she needs to replace it!
4. Borrowed my wheelchair to use as a prop in a play - lost it!!
4. Coffee creamer, inhaler for their bronchitis, mouthwash, toothpicks, pencils, water bottles, a toaster, snacks, glucometer, scrubs, phone charger, dental glue for a crown, etc, etc, etc.
GAHHHH yes!! The look of shock is what kills me. (and you know what, I will lie right to their faces but in fact I *do* have coffee creamer. I bought it for my own coffee, with my own money, and I will hoard it until I quit or die).
I had a security guard aggressively argue with me about not having a safety pin. We're a school for kids with behavioral and emotional disorders - they're not allowed to bring backpacks, the bathrooms are locked, they can't walk in the hall without staff escorts, they can only use pencils and not pens. And I'm supposed to stock....sharps??
I am the supplier of "all things." Especially things teachers want / need but put no forethought and planning into. Some make sense, others I am like - whaaaaatttttttt?
It is not even what they are asking me for but it is the look of shock on their face when I don't have that object or can't spare to give them 5 boxes of my gloves which would leave me with -2 boxes for my own use.
1. Cotton balls for santa beards.
2. Tongue depressors (????). "I only need 130!"
3. Vaseline - to play a prank on a co-worker. Just reached their hand in there and scooped out most of my jar. And I had just placed an order for supplies and spent all my budget. I was livid, told her she needs to replace it!
4. Borrowed my wheelchair to use as a prop in a play - lost it!!
4. Coffee creamer, inhaler for their bronchitis, mouthwash, toothpicks, pencils, water bottles, a toaster, snacks, glucometer, scrubs, phone charger, dental glue for a crown, etc, etc, etc.
It's always gloves. Gloves for art projects, gloves for preschool toilet clean up, gloves for cooking club. I put a few sets of gloves in each classroom first aid kit (ya know, for actual blood or bodily fluid handling). They'll raid those if I don't give out the gloves. I gave a box of 300 gloves for preschool toilet clean up last week. They came in yesterday asking for more. Nope! I gave that box thinking it'd last AT LEAST to the end of the school year. They'll have to order their own.
I am the supplier of "all things." Especially things teachers want / need but put no forethought and planning into. Some make sense, others I am like - whaaaaatttttttt?
It is not even what they are asking me for but it is the look of shock on their face when I don't have that object or can't spare to give them 5 boxes of my gloves which would leave me with -2 boxes for my own use.
1. Cotton balls for santa beards.
2. Tongue depressors (????). "I only need 130!"
3. Vaseline - to play a prank on a co-worker. Just reached their hand in there and scooped out most of my jar. And I had just placed an order for supplies and spent all my budget. I was livid, told her she needs to replace it!
4. Borrowed my wheelchair to use as a prop in a play - lost it!!
4. Coffee creamer, inhaler for their bronchitis, mouthwash, toothpicks, pencils, water bottles, a toaster, snacks, glucometer, scrubs, phone charger, dental glue for a crown, etc, etc, etc.
Good lawd! I get all the same silly requests in number 4.
ONE TIME I gave out some cotton balls for a project on the contingency the teacher would bring me a new bag... Surprise! It never happened. So I am super stingy with all my products and always act like I am in super low supply and keep my stock locked up.
NutmeggeRN, BSN
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