So many of you are amazing people and nurses. The time you put in responding to posts on Allnurses really does make a difference.
BUT.
When people come here asking for advice on a situation, they are not looking for your opinion of them as a person or their behavior. You all know what threads I'm talking about.
It's one thing to point out that their behavior could potentially be dangerous to patients.
It's one thing to be honest and tell them that their future doesn't look too bright.
It's one thing to suggest they may find seeing a therapist very helpful.
It's another to tell them they are mentally ill, mock them RELENTLESSLY, or judge them. When you do this to your fellow nurses (that have just come to you for advice), you're worse than that poor, scared soul you FLAMED for thinking a drug abuser may have a bloodborne illness.
These posters are often simply desperate, scared, or just plain curious!
I know it's important to have a thick skin when you work in healthcare, and I sure as heck am not busting out the trigger-words bully†or NETY.†It's just that even in my CNA class, it was emphasized over and over that it's not our place to judge patients. Can't you afford the same courtesy to other nurses?
I'm generally a pretty quiet person, but I believe in standing up for other people. So I just had to put this out there.
Really? Aren't ya kinda proving the point? Btw, I read your posts all the time and are someone I look up to. But I dunno. I feel good when I make a hard situation a little better for someone even if it's in some small, stupid way. Not everyone has to agree with me though ������
Sure feelings get hurt. I think a lot of times it is because sometimes it is hard to interpret emotions through text. Other times people are just not used to be told that they are not super - rainbow- perfect. AllNurses is not the place for that nonsense. Never has been, and hopefully it never will be.
Don't ask stupid questions like "do I have the job despite me failing a drug test" if you do not want backlash. First off.. We are not your employer so there is NO WAY for us to know if someone has a job or not. Secondly.. Looking for a job when you KNOW you are going to fail a drug screen is a waste of everyone's time, unless I guess you take a job at a facility where they HAVE to hire whatever walks through their doors. Not to mention taking a drug test when you know it is likely you are going to fail, is setting yourself up for a long and expensive legal road. Anyone who doubts this can cruise over to the nurses in recovery spot.
These finger wagging, lecturing posts rarely get received well, and rarely do they end up changing the posting behavior of AN members. All Nurses is a moderated forum. If you see a post you believe is against TOS, by all means report it. Mods cannot be in every thread at all times, so if they don't know rules have been broken, they cannot do anything about it.
But they are pretty good here, so if something is really that bad, it will be handled. If posts are left intact, that means that they fall within terms of service here and you must accept the fact that not every post will conform to YOUR preferences.
Here. I really do want to talk about this without being nasty or snide *ahem.* after reading some responses and reevaluating, how about this take on it: I feel like sometimes the number of posts that offer no advice in response to a "stupid question" wayy outnumber those that are objective and helpful.
Is that something we can address? That those who say "you don't like something, don't read it" tend not to take their own advice?
Can we acknowledge that there exists a breed of post that offers no advice and just says "you're stupid" IN ADDITION to those that are harsh but educational?
Here. I really do want to talk about this without being nasty or snide *ahem.* after reading some responses and reevaluating, how about this take on it: I feel like sometimes the number of posts that offer no advice in response to a "stupid question" wayy outnumber those that are objective and helpful.
Is that something we can address? That those who say "you don't like something, don't read it" tend not to take their own advice?
Can we acknowledge that there exists a breed of post that offers no advice and just says "you're stupid" IN ADDITION to those that are harsh but educational?
I realized today I am turning into a beyotch on this site. There are a couple of threads that I posted stuff on, then immediately edited because I was being stupid. Then I realized what I replaced my post with wasn't any better.
There are some posters on here who have escalated the nasty recently, and I just joined right in.
I am backing off for a while until I get right with myself.
I realized today I am turning into a beyotch on this site. There are a couple of threads that I posted stuff on, then immediately edited because I was being stupid. Then I realized what I replaced my post with wasn't any better.
There are some posters on here who have escalated the nasty recently, and I just joined right in.
I am backing off for a while until I get right with myself.
I'm sure when I'm as seasoned as you all are I'll feel the same way about this stuff but in the meantime, jeezum crow am I relieved I'm not totally and completely alone in my (maybe a little pointless) observations.
I'm sure when I'm as seasoned as you all are I'll feel the same way about this stuff but in the meantime, jeezum crow am I relieved I'm not totally and completely alone in my (maybe a little pointless) observations.
Thanks for the spirited conversation, all.
Seasoned, LOL! I'm still a baby nurse.
There's a line between forthright and harsh, and I've crossed it too many times lately.
I've gone back and looked at a few of my comments and thought, "What if someone said that to me?"
I cried, y'all. My mama (RIP) would be ashamed of me.
Absolutely, you all express valid opinions that I do not disagree with. However, there is an attitude here of "let's all agree we can be as mean as we want, and anyone who calls us mean is a wuss!"
Which again, I can understand. For an online forum, y'all are pretty nightly knit. And you are all smart, tough cookies. You hold others to a high standard, which is great!
But as I said, there's a difference between giving a blunt and unbiased opinion in which you point out someone's mistake, and being unkind to someone because they put themselves in a snafu.
It's not aallllll that much of an exaggeration to say that this is becoming a place where only a certain group of people can post "safely."
I very much disagree. As has been mentioned already, this site is tightly moderated. Egregiously mean, snarky or outright nasty posts simply are not tolerated. I'm a living example - you should see the points I used to accumulate
This IS the internet. Post anything on the INTERNET and you must expect answers across the spectrum of soft, warm, fuzzy and affirming to cold, hard reality. Cold hard reality does NOT equal mean, harsh or biased.
As I learned many years ago while raising my children: Either I could teach them to deal with the real world ("sometimes the truth hurts," "you can't always be the winner," et al) or someone else will. Someone else who doesn't care about them and will be cruel. The same principle applies here. New nurses, nurse wanna-be's come here for advice and direction. They will doubtless get some warm & fuzzy responses. They will also get some tough-love, this-is-reality answers. They just need to deal without crying (as my kids used to do) "no fair!"
And again, if you see a post which is downright nasty and it really bothers you, report it.
BUT: if the post remains after you have reported it, that means the mods were okay with it and you might need to re-evaluate your desire to censor others.
I find this site actually quite civilized. Compare us to some of the other medical related forums like the one for pre-meds, and the level of maturity is higher here.
The internet is not a support group. If you make a post, or start a thread, the people replying are posting according to their experiences, values, and beliefs. One cannot expect to receive only replies one finds supportive; in fact one should be prepared for the opposite, especially if one is posting controversial information about oneself, or asking controversial questions. A simple rule to go by is, if you are not prepared to receive responses that question you or disagree with you, or otherwise express negativity towards what you have stated, it is probably better not to post at all.
meanmaryjean, DNP, RN
7,899 Posts
Yet your post seems to indicate that they DO.