Yep. Nurses do "eat their young"

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Having started posting here after I graduated, I've seen it first hand. Its not just a "say". Its the truth.

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, to know what awaits us on the floor. But neverthelsss, extremely unprofessional of some, who think GNs or new floor nurses deserve "no respect" or that "the respect should be earned".

On edit: do patients need to "earn your respect" as well???

SMH!

I, myself, went through toughs times (get the violin) in my RN program because one of my main instructors was loony. No kidding. Needing help. Not a matter of opinion. That added additional stress to an already tough program. I had to impress and get by (pass) a loony woman.

I've been here a long time and yes, these NETY threads do get to me because when people say "Nurses eat their young" they are making a broad generalization basically saying all experienced nurses are mean to all the new nurses. I truly cannot stand reading/hearing generalizations like that. You cannot lump us all in the same "eating their young" basket.

Your comment, NursesRmofun, spoke to me because in every profession or club or group of people there will be someone who is either not very nice or maybe actually a bully. That never ever should color every person in the profession or club or group as being the same.

And as people have mentioned, being a bully is a very specific thing and doesn't include someone in a bad mood or someone who loves to make snarky comments.

And NO - the majority of older nurses do not eat their young. So, stop painting us all with that broad brush.

Pretty please with sugar on top? :nurse:

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Specializes in CVICU.
I wont worry about my "patients disrespecting" me . They're not there to respect anyone. They're in distress, and I wouldn't expect or demand that from them.

I don't agree with this mindset. I expect to see patients in distress due to their situation of being hospitalized, but that does not give them the right to be disrespectful. I tell patients when they are disrespectful that it is a two way street. There's no way I'm going to bend over backwards for a patient who is talking to me like a dog. It may not coincide with the ivory tower of nursing's ideology but my give-a-damn and care factor drops considerably when a patient is A&O but being a jerk. There is no excuse for it. I will still care for them, intervene when medically necessary, treat their pain, etc but there is a stark contrast between my demeanor with a rude patient and with an appreciative one.

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I don't have to respect someone to treat them respectfully. What I think of them should have no bearing on how I behave toward them. On the flip side, just because I treat someone respectfully doesn't necessarily mean I respect them at all. In that vein, yes, you will have to earn my respect but my responsibility is to never let you know that you haven't and mentor you to the point that you do. Unfortunately for that to happen I sometimes have to offer criticism which is never easy to hear and for some reason has been morphed into a big giant no-no. It doesn't fit in the "rainbows and butterflies" image some people have of nursing and life itself. Yet criticism, while sometimes painful, is usually a good thing that allows us to grow. As for this whole "NETY" thing. I'm not entirely sure why people think that nurses are the only ones who are SOMETIMES tough on newbies. It happens in every career, in every walk of life because all humans are flawed and some humans are just plain mean . The OP has used an extremely broad brush in her title which rankles me and a lot of other non-nurse eating people.

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I don't agree with this mindset. I expect to see patients in distress due to their situation of being hospitalized, but that does not give them the right to be disrespectful. I tell patients when they are disrespectful that it is a two way street. There's no way I'm going to bend over backwards for a patient who is talking to me like a dog. It may not coincide with the ivory tower of nursing's ideology but my give-a-damn and care factor drops considerably when a patient is A&O but being a jerk. There is no excuse for it. I will still care for them, intervene when medically necessary, treat their pain, etc but there is a stark contrast between my demeanor with a rude patient and with an appreciative one.

This is true.

We aren't supposed to take abuse, verbal or otherwise, from patients or their families.

We are in the midst of an issue where I work right now with a patient who is verbally aggressive and has physically struck out at nurses with his fist or by tossing a chair across the room at the nurse.

He said "I'm dying so I should be able to hit you if I want to".

There is a psych history but that doesn't excuse a patient from treating us with disrespect and scaring the staff.

We are not handmaidens to the patients. Some disrespect should never be tolerated. Other stuff, you can let roll off your back.

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I can respect you as a person but not trust your clinical practice yet.

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As a new graduate, I was orienting in a trauma/neuro ICU. My preceptor and I took a stable patient to MRI. We were there about an hour. All I had to do was watch the patient through the window and pay attention to the monitor, which I did.Over the course of the hour I asked many question of the the MRI technician. Field strength, liquid helium cooling system, emergency shut down procedures and trying to learn a little something about interpreting MRI results. I had a science degree before nursing, so was interested. Scan completed without issue. Took patient back to unit and was sent to lunch. When I got back, I was called into my managers office and scolded for asking questions of the MRI tech. My preceptor complained it was not my job to know such things. I stood there silent for a moment and then just said "you must be kidding? Not my job to ask questions?" I turned around and walked out of the office. My questions where WAY over my preceptors head and she felt intimidated and proceeded to have me for her lunch, so to speak. Soon after, we came to an understanding and got along fine. Nurses eating their young is a real thing.

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I can respect you as a person but not trust your clinical practice yet.

Excellent point!

As a new graduate, I was orienting in a trauma/neuro ICU. My preceptor and I took a stable patient to MRI. We were there about an hour. All I had to do was watch the patient through the window and pay attention to the monitor, which I did.Over the course of the hour I asked many question of the the MRI technician. Field strength, liquid helium cooling system, emergency shut down procedures and trying to learn a little something about interpreting MRI results. I had a science degree before nursing, so was interested. Scan completed without issue. Took patient back to unit and was sent to lunch. When I got back, I was called into my managers office and scolded for asking questions of the MRI tech. My preceptor complained it was not my job to know such things. I stood there silent for a moment and then just said "you must be kidding? Not my job to ask questions?" I turned around and walked out of the office. My questions where WAY over my preceptors head and she felt intimidated and proceeded to have me for her lunch, so to speak. Soon after, we came to an understanding and got along fine. Nurses eating their young is a real thing.

That's not bullying. That doesn't mean all experienced nurses eat all new nurses.

Who scolded you? The manager? Or just the preceptor? Or both? Regardless, that was truly a silly thing to do to you but didn't rise to the level of being a bully.

If I were your preceptor, I would have been fascinated by your questions and I would have thanked you for asking them.

All experienced nurses are not bullies to young nurses.

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Specializes in Vascular Access.

When I started my first job as a RN I realized that I was the new guy. It takes time to fit and find your place in a new culture. I've always been the type to keep my eyes and ears wide open and keep my mouth shut. Over time my skills and knowledge were noticed through my patient care. I did not ask for or demand respect. It became noticeable with time and experience. The academic component of nurse education is just the tip of the iceberg. As far as "nurses eat their young," ignore it and keep learning. I hope that you have some veterans in your proximity that teach, encourage, and keep an open ear for you.

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As a new graduate, I was orienting in a trauma/neuro ICU. My preceptor and I took a stable patient to MRI. We were there about an hour. All I had to do was watch the patient through the window and pay attention to the monitor, which I did.Over the course of the hour I asked many question of the the MRI technician. Field strength, liquid helium cooling system, emergency shut down procedures and trying to learn a little something about interpreting MRI results. I had a science degree before nursing, so was interested. Scan completed without issue. Took patient back to unit and was sent to lunch. When I got back, I was called into my managers office and scolded for asking questions of the MRI tech. My preceptor complained it was not my job to know such things. I stood there silent for a moment and then just said "you must be kidding? Not my job to ask questions?" I turned around and walked out of the office. My questions where WAY over my preceptors head and she felt intimidated and proceeded to have me for her lunch, so to speak. Soon after, we came to an understanding and got along fine. Nurses eating their young is a real thing.

I don't think you should have been scolded for that, but I can't make the leap to "Nurses eating their young is a real thing." from your story.

You said the situation resolved, and you came to an understanding.

You don't sound eaten to me.

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This is a great life truth that I think bears repeating.

There's actually a name for it! Confirmation bias.

OP: The problem with saying things like you've said is that you're generalizing and generalizing can get a pretty negative response. Because I imagine, like other humans, nurses don't like being lumped together. It's like saying "all new grads are entitled brats" - I'm sure you'd have some pretty serious feelings about that generalization.

Like people (because really, that's what nurses are), some are jerks. Some are great. Some are somewhere in between and all want to be judged on their own merits, not the actions of others.

*Obligatory not a nurse yet*

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Specializes in Registered Nurse.
I've been here a long time and yes, these NETY threads do get to me because when people say "Nurses eat their young" they are making a broad generalization basically saying all experienced nurses are mean to all the new nurses. I truly cannot stand reading/hearing generalizations like that. You cannot lump us all in the same "eating their young" basket.

Your comment, NursesRmofun, spoke to me because in every profession or club or group of people there will be someone who is either not very nice or maybe actually a bully. That never ever should color every person in the profession or club or group as being the same.

And as people have mentioned, being a bully is a very specific thing and doesn't include someone in a bad mood or someone who loves to make snarky comments.

And NO - the majority of older nurses do not eat their young. So, stop painting us all with that broad brush.

Pretty please with sugar on top? :nurse:

Just to clarify, I was not saying my instructor in the RN program was a NETY! I was saying that she was a hurdle and, yes, maybe a bully. I was using this as an example of some people going through a difficult Nursing Program with *other obstacles, so they need some plain old human respect--- because I was agreeing on people having different outlooks on respect when it comes to nursing. But I believe the respect one gets as a GN is the kind the GN needs to obtain by listening, learning, and demonstrating competency.

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As a new graduate, I was orienting in a trauma/neuro ICU. My preceptor and I took a stable patient to MRI. We were there about an hour. All I had to do was watch the patient through the window and pay attention to the monitor, which I did.Over the course of the hour I asked many question of the the MRI technician. Field strength, liquid helium cooling system, emergency shut down procedures and trying to learn a little something about interpreting MRI results. I had a science degree before nursing, so was interested. Scan completed without issue. Took patient back to unit and was sent to lunch. When I got back, I was called into my managers office and scolded for asking questions of the MRI tech. My preceptor complained it was not my job to know such things. I stood there silent for a moment and then just said "you must be kidding? Not my job to ask questions?" I turned around and walked out of the office. My questions where WAY over my preceptors head and she felt intimidated and proceeded to have me for her lunch, so to speak. Soon after, we came to an understanding and got along fine. Nurses eating their young is a real thing.

I'm very sorry this happened to you and what a stupid thing to be fussed at over but I fail to see how this falls into the category of being "eaten". I think all of us can relate a time we got called on the carpet for something incredibly stupid/ridiculous/just plain wrong. The NETY concept is speaking more to consistent lateral violence and bullying not a one-time incident of somebody getting angry at you even if the reason was lame. I have personal experience in this area and there really is a difference.

From Wuzzie: whose once-young nursing butt had big chunks bitten out of it by a bitter old hag who just happened to be a nurse but would have been just as bitter and mean if she was an accountant.

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