after 35 years, I cannot believe it

Published

After a 35 year career, today may end it. After 20 years of hospital work, I was recruited by a surgical practice to be their lead nurse. I have now worked with this group for 15 years. I became a grandma in November (an answer to prayer!) and have been looking forward to a little time with this baby. I had asked the group for a two month leave of absence in September. Without getting into specifics, this leave is VERY important to me. This morning, I was told that they were not granting this leave. One doctor actually said to me "I am sorry about this but I can't imagine running this practice without you for 9 weeks" I am crushed. I have worked like an ox for this group and have never asked for anything. I am 58 years old. I feel like they are taking a calculated risk but thinking that I am too old to quit. My husband says we don't need the money and I should give notice tomorrow. I wonder if I even want to give notice. I do not want to work here any longer.

Please, what would you do?

Specializes in ORTHO, PCU, ED.
I am sorry this happened to you. I would encourage new nurses to view your example as a lesson. Our employers are just that - our employers. After they pay us for showing up that day, the vast majority of them really don't care about us.

No matter how well we do, or how much we care, or how "above and beyond" we distinguish ourselves, our tenure can end immediately any time. That manager, CEO, or owner (who loves us dearly) can quit, get fired, retire or sell and the next to take their place doesn't give a rat's hind end about your years of service.

So by all means, give that extra effort, go above and beyond, and be a great employee.

But know for certain you are doing this for *yourself*, because that is how you want to work. Don't do it for some reward, loyalty, or payback from your employer because too often there just isn't any. Not in today's disposable American workforce.

I love my job and all, but I have no delusions about any loyalty from management in any way.

VERY true. Well said.

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Specializes in Pediatric Hematology/Oncology.
I would suggest the same thing as a PP. Tell them you're leaving between such and such dates and offer them the chance to give you a leave of absence versus losing you forever. You aren't the supplicant here since you don't need them.

If they can't run the practice without you for nine weeks... You have a major bargaining tool. Use it.

Yeah, they totally should not have said that. You need to use this to your advantage.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

Unless there is more to the story than we know ... I can understand why the employer won't give the OP 2 months of leave time to stay home with a new grandchild. If they do that for her, they will have to do that for other staff members -- and you can't run a business that way.

If I were her, I would try to work out a compromise. Life is about compromise. The longer she stays off work, the harder it will be to find a good job when she returns, especially at her age. And as others have pointed out, unexpected bad (and expensive) things can happen to anyone. Throwing a hissy fit and quitting abruptly now may be something she regrets later -- when she is 60 and needs a job but can't get a good one because her practice is 2 years out of date -- or she has to start over at the bottom of the seniority list at a new place and has to work the shifts no one else wants -- etc.

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Specializes in Dialysis.
I took it to mean she asked for the leave in September (2 months ago) and it is now being denied, not that the leave is starting in September (9 months away).

That's how I took it

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Specializes in Allergy/ENT, Occ Health, LTC/Skilled.
Unless there is more to the story than we know ... I can understand why the employer won't give the OP 2 months of leave time to stay home with a new grandchild. If they do that for her, they will have to do that for other staff members -- and you can't run a business that way.

If I were her, I would try to work out a compromise. Life is about compromise. The longer she stays off work, the harder it will be to find a good job when she returns, especially at her age. And as others have pointed out, unexpected bad (and expensive) things can happen to anyone. Throwing a hissy fit and quitting abruptly now may be something she regrets later -- when she is 60 and needs a job but can't get a good one because her practice is 2 years out of date -- or she has to start over at the bottom of the seniority list at a new place and has to work the shifts no one else wants -- etc.

I've been surprised by most of the responses that she quit over not being granted a 9 week non medical leave myself. I can't think of any employer, no matter how long you have worked for them, that would be ok with that. I think perhaps they could offer her two to three weeks but even that's a stretch. She could offer to be PRN for them starting when she wants to leave. That would be a fair compromise. And in most clinic manager eyes, no one is irreplaceable even if the doctor's think the opposite.

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Where ever you work, there's no loyal employer or boss. Money is the reason why i wake up and shovel my way out to work and deal with long cold chilly winter morning going to work. The minute money is not the issue , just retire on the spot, even in the middle of your shift. I am close to amass my one million dollar retirement money at 47, sometimes I can't wait for them to fire me.

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Oh, this past September. How much in advance did you ask for the leave?

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Specializes in Med-Surg, OB, ICU, Public Health Nursing.

At 58 you are nearing retirement age. If your retirement plan was based on social security, then you have to realize that your future retiremtne income could be affected if you did not find another position. As a "mom," I say they are only babies once. Go, ahead and give notice and don't burn bridges.

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Specializes in ER.

Will you consider doing something like 4 weeks and then two months later another four weeks (like let's say Christmas?) Say it is a compromise because you will be taking four weeks in September and then four weeks in December? So it's just 8 weeks broken up?

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Specializes in Critical care.

How's your back feeling? I hear lower back pain is very difficult to substantiate .... a little TDI would stretch a long way towards 62 when you can grab SS. I never suggested this by the way. Then there is always the FMLA route, can say there is no child care for your grandchild.

Cheers

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Wouldn't everyone like to get 2 months off to spend time with a new grandchild?

The fact of the matter is .. this is not a consideration for a FMLA. This is not a "little' time off. It is 9 weeks off, with no one to replace you.

Weigh the pros and cons, if money is not an issue, then give 2 weeks notice. Remember the opportunity the group gave you in the first place. Use your CTO accordingly to keep your position and still get enough time off to be with the wee one.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

I'm sorry that u have to make this choice of either 2 months off with your grandchild and your job. I wonder if they could be worried about setting a presidence, are you going to want two months off after every grandchild? I'm not really surprised they said no though. Some mothers and fathers can't get 2 months off after the birth of a child.

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