I have a 5th grade student who came to me last week that I ended up making a child abuse report on. Today, she came to me and informed me that her "safe" caregiver has been removed from the house and is currently hospitalized (unrelated) and is possibly in a coma.
She has mentioned her faith a number of times to me and what a comfort it is. I am also a Christian. I have told her that I am praying for her and for her situation, but believe that encouraging her spiritually as well as taking some private time to pray with her at school would be of help to her physically, spiritually, and emotionally. She has been missing quite a bit of class time due to her emotional state.
I know that this is not legal. But for my Christian nurses: Where does our requirement to follow worldly laws end and our commitment to our patient and to God begin? Would you or do you pray with your students if requested or encourage them spiritually when necessary?
I hope you don't mind my perspective. While I am currently a nurse, I was a teacher for much longer. Also, I'm a Christian. I often prayed for my students- they just never realized it. However, an issue with which I had to contend is that I am Orthodox Christian and I don't believe I ever had a student that was. Our prayers are not what the typical Evangelical, non-denominational Christian of America would pray. From a parental perspective, would you want a teacher or a nurse or any other adult attempting to influence your child in their own beliefs, even if your child asked them to pray for him or her? For all that we all call ourselves Christians there really is a wide variety of beliefs to be had. For example, if you're a devout Calvinist type would you want someone with very differing theology from yours to push their version of things on your own kids?
I agree with you if the point of the prayer was to "influence" the girl to believe in accordance to your particular religion. But in this case, I believe it wouldn't really matter if smudges.blips was a Christian, Jew, Buddhist, Bahai, or Islamist if the point of praying with the Christian girl was to facilitate comfort and ease emotional pain.
My first reaction would be my Christianity and the pursuit thereof would be a higher calling than separation of church and state. But as I pondered the aftermath of the possibility of being fired as a result of praying at school I can't help but think God might tell me..."You know you could of handled that differently!" So, I'm reminded of Matthew 18:20..."For where two or three gather together in My name, there am I with them." I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned, "encourage them spiritually." The state isn't allowed to encourage any particular religious belief on another but it can't prohibit any religious belief either. I believe you could "encourage" a conversation with her wherein you provide a safe communication pathway for her to express her concerns and feelings and if her Christian beliefs became part of the conversation, that would be part of the therapeutic communication. Remember, prayer comes in all forms and fashions - not just a recitation of words. And, as Matthew mentioned, Jesus would be present and I believe He would completely understand the purpose of the conversation.
What a thoughtful and heartfelt post! Blessings and Peace of Christ to you!
Dear OldDude,
I am what most people would call an atheist in that I don't believe in God as a being ... but I am a spiritual person in my own way.
I want to compliment you on your post, which I can support in spite of being an atheist. I feel strongly that the staff of a public school should not "push" their particular religious beliefs onto a child -- and if someone at a school tried to push their religion onto my child, I would have them in court real fast. However, I see nothing wrong with your suggestion to create a safe space for a spiritual conversation, allowing the child to lead the conversation within that space.
Your approach is one that allows people of differing spiritual beliefs to work (and live) together peacefully -- and to even learn from each other. Thank you.
Yes, I would pray with a student. I would allow the student to lead or ask the student how he or she prays. I consider this supporting a student and caring for a student holistically. It is different from teaching a child prayer or about religion. When i had my first baby, I was in a Catholic hospital and my husband called for a Eucharistic minister to bring communion. My midwife was in the room when the EM showed up. The EM took a few minutes to pray for me and for our baby. I distinctly remember my midwife bowing her head and folding her hands respectfully. I was surprised to later find out she was Jewish. I felt her respectfulness was very kind and much appreciated.
Specializes in Emergency, Disaster Medicine, Search and Rescue.
Why not just encourage her to be herself and allow her to pray if she wishes, and you could silently sit and agree with her and be there for her with encouragement of her needs/desires, but not specifically by "leading" her?
On the outside, you would simply be allowing her to observe her own faith and you would be supporting her own needs. You wouldn't be violating the rules of a job that you chose to put yourself in. What you say privately in your own head is your own business.
Why not say something like, "You mentioned finding comfort in prayer during a time like this. Why don't we sit here and you go ahead and pray, and I'll sit here and agree with you".
Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.
OP---great question! I would pray for a student (and I have/do) in my heart, and if asked to , out loud. I think OldDude's response was one of the best. Also, "praying without ceasing" is a way of life, and doesn't have to be outwardly expressed in words and allows us to be obedient to pray for others, even in situations in which we have been told we can't verbally do so. Your kids are blessed to have you in their lives.
Please allow me to insert my completely objective and emotionless point of view: I'm assuming you're a school RN. In your statement you say it's illegal. If that's in fact true and you know that to be the case, I'd stop there. However, as an RN you are licensed to communicate therapeutically so the conversation could be driven by your student/patient. If you believe that would protect you legally, do it. But what about charting to protect yourself? I'm assuming there is a chart of some sort on this young lady, given the circumstances. Could you cover yourself with a "student states, 'will you pray with me? so I bowed my head... Student felt more calm upon completion of prayer". Also, I would try to remove any of your own beliefs as much as possible. As with any nursing, it's not about our feelings, but the patient's needs. Just a suggestion.
I'm a religious person. Not as deeply as perhaps some people, but in my own way. I think the important piece here is giving the student a private and safe pace to pray if the student needs it and finds it comforting. I would let the student lead and join them in silent support.
I have told students my faith domination if asked, but usually turn the conversation back to them and ask them about their faith and needs (which the student is usually happy to talk about and appreciative of my safe space to do). I have learned so much about different faiths and cultures and love that.
Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
. She has mentioned her faith a number of times to me and what a comfort it is. I am also a Christian. I have told her that I am praying for her and for her situation, but believe that encouraging her spiritually as well as taking some private time to pray with her at school would be of help to her physically, spiritually, and emotionally. She has been missing quite a bit of class time due to her emotional state.
I know that this is not legal.
Not exactly true....moment of silence in school and all....what is illegal is you forcing your views on a student, and that doesn't seem to be the case. But since you're asking in a public forum, that means you're conflicted. You got a lot of good advice here. If it's student-led, you should have no problem. If you're leading it, that could be misinterpreted even if you have the student's best interest at heart.
OldDude
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I agree with you if the point of the prayer was to "influence" the girl to believe in accordance to your particular religion. But in this case, I believe it wouldn't really matter if smudges.blips was a Christian, Jew, Buddhist, Bahai, or Islamist if the point of praying with the Christian girl was to facilitate comfort and ease emotional pain.