Workplace Sayings

[Davey Do]

We have a saying where I work that goes "There's a right way, and then there's the _______ ________ Medical Center's way!".

When a coworker complains of the way something is done, then makes and appropriate suggestion, I reply with, "Stop making sense!"

Rooty Payne, my work brother in arms, has a couple:

"It's only (8 or 12) hours."

"I don't run the train, I only shovel the coal."

Got any?

[RhythmicRN, ADN]

One of my favorites in the psych clinic:

"Masticate Nitrogenous waste and go Asystole!"

In the ED:

"Clearly this patient suffers from Hypodilaudism!"

Another from LTC:

"No, I wont let you die today, there is way too much paperwork involved!"

[CardiacDork, MSN, RN]

"All bleeding stops, eventually"

[TriciaJ, RN]

Now I'm remembering some from my old psych days:

Stelazine-deficiency syndrome (self-explanatory)

Positive suitcase sign (these were "emergency" admits for suicidal ideation and the patient would arrive with all his belongings).

[sevensonnets]

No maam we don't have any banana posicles only red or green. Sure, here's the Head Honcho's number.

[Oldmahubbard]

(Forensic hospital) New admit who claims to "hear voices", then goes in day room and plays cards all night, winning repeatedly, is said to exhibit "PQM".

Poor quality malingering

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

They ain't dead until they're warm and dead.

Said about post cardiac surgery patients who were a tad hypothermic. We actually called it on a patient 3 times once- she was only 94 degrees the first time and we just couldn't get her heart going. Then it started about 90 seconds later. So we started resuscitating her again. And then did the whole thing over again. She didn't make it.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

(Forensic hospital) New admit who claims to "hear voices", then goes in day room and plays cards all night, winning repeatedly, is said to exhibit "PQM".

Poor quality malingering

I love that one -- and it has so many alternative uses! The husband who whines all day that he cannot clean out the garage because he's so miserable he feels like he's been "beaten with a stick" but is somehow able to attend his martial arts class that evening. Or when he can't go to work because he feels so sickly but is able to work on his boat all day.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

"The first pulse to take in a code is your own," from House of God.

"There is no body cavity that cannot be violated with a good, strong arm and a 14 gauge needle. But there are many that ought not to be." (The aorta, left ventrical and caratid arteries spring to mind.)

[djh123]

"All bleeding stops, eventually"

Awesome. Reminds me of a great poster I saw in a motorcycle shop in the 70's (yes, I was alive then :^) ... when a lot more people still smoked. It was a skeleton with a cigarette clenched between the teeth, and the caption said "Everybody eventually quits smoking".

[djh123]

Remember, Wrongway Regional Medical Center's immortal creed is "There's the Right Way, and then there's the Wrongway!".

[amoLucia]

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy". And you're shaking your head in disbelief when you just can't believe what just happened.

[RobbiRN, RN]

"End it all with Inderal"

"You can fall at home. If you fall here, my daughter doesn't get to go to college."

"I hear the voices too . . . but you're probably a better listener."

"Incarceritis" (CP secondary to arrest by local PD)

My favorite: LGFTD ("Looks good from the door.")