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We have a saying where I work that goes "There's a right way, and then there's the _______ ________ Medical Center's way!".
When a coworker complains of the way something is done, then makes and appropriate suggestion, I reply with, "Stop making sense!"
Rooty Payne, my work brother in arms, has a couple:
"It's only (8 or 12) hours."
"I don't run the train, I only shovel the coal."
Got any?
They ain't dead until they're warm and dead.
Said about post cardiac surgery patients who were a tad hypothermic. We actually called it on a patient 3 times once- she was only 94 degrees the first time and we just couldn't get her heart going. Then it started about 90 seconds later. So we started resuscitating her again. And then did the whole thing over again. She didn't make it.
(Forensic hospital) New admit who claims to "hear voices", then goes in day room and plays cards all night, winning repeatedly, is said to exhibit "PQM".Poor quality malingering
I love that one -- and it has so many alternative uses! The husband who whines all day that he cannot clean out the garage because he's so miserable he feels like he's been "beaten with a stick" but is somehow able to attend his martial arts class that evening. Or when he can't go to work because he feels so sickly but is able to work on his boat all day.
"All bleeding stops, eventually"
Awesome. Reminds me of a great poster I saw in a motorcycle shop in the 70's (yes, I was alive then :^) ... when a lot more people still smoked. It was a skeleton with a cigarette clenched between the teeth, and the caption said "Everybody eventually quits smoking".
RhythmicRN, ADN
23 Posts
One of my favorites in the psych clinic:
"Masticate Nitrogenous waste and go Asystole!"
In the ED:
"Clearly this patient suffers from Hypodilaudism!"
Another from LTC:
"No, I wont let you die today, there is way too much paperwork involved!"