Working 12's with small children

heron, ASN, RN · Jul 11, 2016

Having walked that walk, the reality is that you need full time, as in 24hour around the clock, childcare on the days you work. If hubs can't do that and family isn't available or willing, you'll have to pay for it. 12hr shifts = eat, sleep, go to work. Skimping on sleep is a disaster waiting to happen especially with kids that young.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Jul 11, 2016

How would you suggest dad works 40+ hours, go to school, study, and perform childcare duties?
It is not a waste of her time , but an added burden on dad that could interfere with his full time job and schooling. In the grand scheme of things dad.. needs to focus on the present and future goals of the family security. 24 hours of paid childcare would be an investment towards securing a better future.

I was referring to the cost. She only works 24 hours. If she's spending half of that on a sitter, that is a waste to me. Obviously, he's home the hours she is working. Which is why I suggested they plan ahead his time. Organize it to make it more efficient.

He will manage. I managed work, school, and being a single mom. He's not the only parent in the world doing it.

RNKPCE · Jul 11, 2016

What shift do you work? Is he supportive of you working in general? What time do you get home from work?

As a nurse who worked 8 hour evening three shifts a week my husband and I have been through this and came out better for it in end. Care taking of your own children is a tough job and sometimes there is an adjustment period especially if one spouse has never had to do it solo very often or for very long. We had child care from 2-5p and then my husband came home and parented. There are many posts on this forum of parents who work full time and take classes to either become an RN or advance their degree.

Depending on your shift you could hire a babysitter part of the time? As the kids get older your husband may not need the assistance.

Also don't be too critical of how your husband parents. I've seen some wives be hypercritical of how their husbands go about parenting. If your kids are safe who cares if they eat cereal for dinner on occasion or in my case my kids loved dad's beans and franks.

middleagednurse · Jul 11, 2016

Can you get a teenage sitter to come over for a couple hours? Have food already prepared so sitter won't have to cook.

NotYourMamasRN · Jul 11, 2016

This sounds like our house. My husband works full time during the week and has been in college. I work every Sat and Sun and am in grad school. We have a toddler and adolescent. It sucks big time! We try to tell ourselves that the next few years will be worth it for our family and that gets us through it. I am super mom/student during the week and my husband is super dad/student on weekends. I was working PRN before and decided to jump into part time work for better benefits and pay, a weekend alternative position. Good luck and I hope you guys find some balance!

Cab411 · Jul 12, 2016

Suck it up butter cup!!!! Lol just kidding

I worked 36 hours a week, in lvn to rn bridge program, two kids ages 7 and 4. Did that for a whole year PLUS taking online classes so I averaged 19 to 22 units a semester....and I had to drive 180 mile round trip to class because it was the fastest program I could get into. I about lost my mind....my husband worked 40 hours a week. I had one kid in school, one in daycare and preschool combo 5 days a week. I had to hire a baby sitter to come early in the morning so I could leave in time for school. Then my husband picked up the kids. He pretty much did everything...laundry, cleaning, dishes, prepared lunches for the next day, and every other little thing. He wasn't happy about it but it worked.

You just have to figure out a solid schedule and stick to a routine. It will be hobbit forming and the kids know what to expect as well and everyone's on the same page.

Borntobenurse? · Jul 12, 2016

A. Switch to per diem job instead of part time.

B. Never work weekends

C. Switch to an 8 hour unit

D. All of the Above

E. Call the Doctor

One of these answers is more correct than the others.

Borntobenurse? · Jul 12, 2016

I was referring to the cost. She only works 24 hours. If she's spending half of that on a sitter, that is a waste to me. Obviously, he's home the hours she is working. Which is why I suggested they plan ahead his time. Organize it to make it more efficient.
He will manage. I managed work, school, and being a single mom. He's not the only parent in the world doing it.

I agree to a certain point, but then again if the point of working is to just make herself marketable in the future, than a sitter could be well worth it. Going Per diem, switching to 8 hour shifts and not working weekends is a better solution IMO tho due to schedule flexibility and timing.

momathoner09, BSN, MSN, APRN · Jul 12, 2016

I agree to a certain point, but then again if the point of working is to just make herself marketable in the future, than a sitter could be well worth it. Going Per diem, switching to 8 hour shifts and not working weekends is a better solution IMO tho due to schedule flexibility and timing.

I agree. I work per diem and my hours vary from 15-36/week. When my husband was deployed I had to employ someone and I still made money but had to pay her a chunk too. But now I've been employed over a year and have a solid foot in the door. I have even started picking up hours in another part of the hospital.

In the long run, the experience you get is worth paying out some childcare costs. They won't be little forever and the cost gradually decreases with age. I'm looking to have to hire again soon Bc ill be covering a 2 month maternity leave full time. I like per diem Bc there is opportunity to do as much or little as you want.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jul 12, 2016

I was referring to the cost. She only works 24 hours. If she's spending half of that on a sitter, that is a waste to me. Obviously, he's home the hours she is working. Which is why I suggested they plan ahead his time. Organize it to make it more efficient.
He will manage. I managed work, school, and being a single mom. He's not the only parent in the world doing it.

Per OP "husband is having a really hard time watching the boys two evenings a week & every third weekend. ". I do not see where he is obviously home during those hours. I see it as...the husband has to juggle an overloaded schedule to cover those hours. Hiring a sitter for two evenings a week and every third weekend is not going to break the bank. I also worked, went to school and was a single parent. I did not bust my chops... I obtained assistance with childcare.

WanderingWilder, ASN · Jul 12, 2016

I recently started a new job, 2 12's a week, days. My husband works 40+ hours and is in school. We have two boys 5 & 4. My husband is having a really hard time watching the boys two evenings a week & every third weekend. Any ideas on how to make it suck less? This is my first 12-hour job since having kids. The job is a great opportunity, and I hate to just walk away from it.

I think he just needs more adjustment peroid. He isn't used to parenting alone (please remove the idea that he is watching his kids from your mind).

Since he is also in school maybe you could find a sitter for your weekend that you work, even if it's just one of the days you work. As for the two evenings there is no reason he shouldn't be able to handle parenting alone a couple of evenings a week.

No there really is no way to make being a parent suck less, besides him understanding that he is not babysitting for you.

Plenty of single parents doing more then what he is reasonable for.

karo07 · Jul 12, 2016

Thanks everyone! I'm currently doing a summer day program for the kids, so the difficulty lies in the two weeknights and the weekends I'm working. I appreciate the feedback from people who've been there. I think moving forward my strategy will be to utilize family more. It's hard for me to ask for help sometimes:) It's also good to remember my relationship with my family will outlast this situation. Also, once I get about a year of experience at this job, it may open up more options that fit us better.