Working 12's with small children

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN · Jul 10, 2016

What is it that he's having trouble with, exactly?

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Jul 10, 2016

What is he having a hard time with? I guess my feeling is you handle it while he works and have since they were born, right? Is it nights or days?

I know that doesn't answer your question, it just boggles my mind when men finally realize what their wives do, you know what I mean?

Could you prepare meals early in the week to help out? Maybe you could write down a schedule for him that included time for him to study while he gets the kids involved in independent play? Kids at that age should be able to independantly play for a period of time.

I'm sure it's an adjustment for him, but if this is an opportunity to benefit your family, you kind just gotta say suck it up, buttercup. After all, he helped create them. And please don't think I mean that negatively, because I don't. I'm sure he's a wonderful father and husband. He just took for granted what you have been doing and still do. Good luck. I hope you guys get it figured out.

RNperdiem, RN · Jul 10, 2016

He will need to come up with some ideas here too. This is a family problem to solve, not just yours alone.

My husband watched the kids when I worked part of each weekend since they were born, so he did full-day childcare from the beginning. Not every father has had this experience. ( I was raised by a father who did occasional "babysitting")

He will need to have plans for the day and a some sort of schedule. Start there.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jul 10, 2016

I am all for the dad to assist with parenting responsibilities. However, he has two jobs right now, school and 40+hours.

Fitting those responsibilities into the additional role of childcare.. sounds like a plan for disaster. Get a sitter while you are working.. let him concentrate on his 40+ hours and schooling.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Jul 10, 2016

I am all for the dad to assist with parenting responsibilities. However, he has two jobs right now, school and 40+hours.
Fitting those responsibilities into the additional role of childcare.. sounds like a plan for disaster. Get a sitter while you are working.. let him concentrate on his 40+ hours and schooling.

That's why I suggested to organize his time so he has time to study. There has to be give and take if they want to make it work. It's truly a waste of her time to hire a sitter as she only works 24 hours.

BSNbeauty, BSN, RN · Jul 11, 2016

I guess in blessed. I work 2 12s a week and my husband never ccomplains about watching our son who is 1.

pixiestudent2 · Jul 11, 2016

I don't understand how he has trouble parenting his kids two days a week [emoji52]

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jul 11, 2016

That's why I suggested to organize his time so he has time to study. There has to be give and take if they want to make it work. It's truly a waste of her time to hire a sitter as she only works 24 hours.

How would you suggest dad works 40+ hours, go to school, study, and perform childcare duties?

It is not a waste of her time , but an added burden on dad that could interfere with his full time job and schooling. In the grand scheme of things dad.. needs to focus on the present and future goals of the family security. 24 hours of paid childcare would be an investment towards securing a better future.

momathoner09, BSN, MSN, APRN · Jul 11, 2016

It's a balance. I recently went back to work after 6 years staying home with our son. Are you working days or nights? Are both or either of the children in school or daycare?

I utilize before & after care. I've also had to hire a nanny for transportation for my son while my husband was deployed. Now that he's home he really helps out on the days I work. He does the early morning drop off and is "on call" in case I have to stay past 6pm but that's rare. I don't work traditional 12 hour shifts though. I honestly would find that schedule close to impossible Bc before/aftercare programs usually end at 6pm or 630pm.

If you really want to work and your husband is truly limited by his current job/school responsibilities than I would hire someone or look into part time day care.

CTtechorRN · Jul 11, 2016

Go team! Talk about busy...

One thought is maybe he could only take one class at a time (or less credit hours) so that he has more time to handle home duties and time with the boys.

And meal planning is helpful. Cook once, eat it twice mentality.

I too work 2 12s a week working mostly weekends with a husband working 40+ hours and helping take care of our 5 mo old. It was an adjustment in the beginning, but we are finally starting to get a groove. And we lean on our trusted family and friends a lot- couldn't get by without them :)

Best wishes!

nutella, MSN, RN · Jul 11, 2016

I think the problem is that your husband works and is in school, which also requires time.

Have you looked into having a babysitter for the 2 times during the week? A high school student or family member who will play and watch them ? Also, prepare meals in advance for those days when you work and freeze them or use a slow cooker.

The other idea is to look into 8 h shifts if that would work better with your and your husband's schedule. I worked evenings only for some while from 3 to 11:30 and when the kids were really little I worked nights for a while.