Work place friendships, OR avoid like the plague?

NightNerd, MSN, RN · Feb 25, 2018

This is a tough one. I'm inclined to be cautious with work friendships, but I definitely have some. I try not to share a ton of personal stuff at work and I don't want to be on the receiving end of that either; I find it way too easy to get caught up in gossip, and it turns me into an ugly person. But there are a couple people I hang out with one on one outside of work because we have other things in common. And to me there's nothing wrong with the occasional happy hour or whatever for work.

Crush · Feb 25, 2018

I have co-workers I consider close friends. We hang out after work or on days off. We can argue at work and walk out the door together and go grab a burger. We don't talk about work once we leave ( that is a rule ). Work stays at work period. The only thing we talk about related to work is our schedule.

In the past I have stories where having work place friendships does not work out. I think it all depends on the persons involved.

Thenewone18 · Feb 27, 2018

I avoid them. Once you get burned you'll probably feel the same way. It's too easy for people to get into your personal business this way and do you really want it to potentially affect your career? Of course not. I prefer to be very very selective about who I even consider being friends with from my job simply because your don't want to end up with drama with true source that puts a roof over your head.

0.5GPA, ADN, CNA · Mar 5, 2018

That facebook thing about leaving people out is stupid. Your just exculding people doesn't matter if they are the charge. The only way that would matter is if you saying questionable things on there to start with then it's just being chicken ****. Being someone who has been excluded in things (being a male in a unit that all women) it sucks. A lot.

Personally I'd never add someone I work with at least directly (meaning we work In same unit I'm not so much against having an ex coworker who left or changed units as a buddy)

kbrn2002, ADN, RN · Mar 6, 2018

I like almost all of the people I work with but as far as actually being friends, as in we do things regularly outside of work there's really only a couple. You can be friendly without being friends, and that's ok. As far as the silly Facebook stuff, why refuse to "friend" the higher-ups? As long as you don't post anything negative about work or your co-workers that shouldn't be a concern. Unless of course you regularly post pictures of yourself participating in shall we say less than professional behavior, in which case it shouldn't be just the management friends you are worried about. People talk.

psu_213, BSN, RN · Mar 6, 2018

There is a difference between being friendly/sociable and being close friends who share everything. I'm fine with going out after a shift with coworkers, going to and socializing at the holiday party, etc. I know some people will tell you never to have coworkers as friends on FB--I have some coworkers on there, but my FB is really, really boring--and I never post anything even remotely related to work. I would never become super close/intimate friends with a coworker.

allnurses Guide · Mar 7, 2018

I make friends at work. I tend to get along with everyone. I friend people on Facebook if they send a request but I don't seek it out and I don't send requests to coworkers myself. I am careful about what I post there. I am cautious and professional at work with what I share and I avoid gossip like the plague. I have traveled to New Orleans with a group of coworkers and we misbehaved in true New Orleans style and had a ripe good time, but we didn't put it on Facebook and we didn't mix it with work in any way. I went to Happy Hour just last night with friends from work. It was fun and stress-relieving.

You will find all ends of the spectrum here. The key is boundaries. Figure out what yours are, set them and keep them. Mine are being friendly and open but smart. Others just lock it down period. There's no right or wrong answer.

mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN · Mar 21, 2018

I have a few nurses that I work with on a regular basis. We are all about the same age and get along well. We live in 3 opposite directions and all have family to care for so we do not do anything outside of work, unless we can all get off to go to a work-related conference together.

There are some that are very close and do stuff together. I don't have a problem with it except I feel left out, but that is my problem, not theirs.

A few years ago, we had a group of younger, single women. They had "Bachelor" (or Bachelorette) parties. it sounded like they had fun. As people got married, had kids, went back to school, there are less and less things like that. We don't have too much drama because of it. thank goodness

nursesunny, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN · Mar 21, 2018

How many times have you heard "It is not what you know but who you know"? How do you think people meet these people who are influential in the career field? They can see "what you know" at work but getting to know people generally means outside friendships. I have had good and bad experiences but in my time in the military one of the greatest things was the camaraderie and you can find that if you are open to it.

I had a secretary tell me something similar recently "I don't have friends at work" and I said "how sad for you, I like having friends where I spend a majority of my waking hours, you do realize we have 3 nurse practitioners who work as staff nurses here, I am a manger, and we have several who promoted to director positions? Seems like a night out on the town wouldn't hurt your career and might even be fun." I have two former peers one teaches at UC Irvine and runs the inpatient program at a major medical center, another is the director at a major medical center, I went to Universal Studios with a major medical center DON, I had lunch with a CNE and regional CNE last month. It makes sense and I actually like the company I keep. I promise I didn't have to drink the Kool-aid, when I don't like someone I don't involve them in my outside life, or if I get burned I know better for next time but, I have found these connections useful for me, my spouse, and others I know both personally and professionally.

klone, MSN, RN · Mar 22, 2018

Ours is an incredibly close-knit unit, many of the nurses have worked together for decades. Friendships are very close, both in and outside of work. As the manager, I try to keep somewhat of a professional distance, but I have socialized with staff a few times as well. A few of them I consider friends outside of work. My personal line in the sand is Facebook, though. I do not "friend" anyone who is directly above me or below me in the workplace hierarchy.

Where I work/live now is also very different than other places I've lived, because it's a small town, and EVERYBODY knows EVERYBODY, and most of these people have grown up together. So it's almost impossible to separate work and personal life the way it would be in a larger city.

Dobbysanurse, BSN, RN · Mar 28, 2018

I have worked in the same TCU for almost 12 years. I would say I have always had work buddies but very few true full fledged friendships; I can name maybe 5 and funnily enough they were all the CNA's I worked with when I was an aide years ago. As I've moved up in leadership positions I would say friendships became less & less. I used to accept friend requests right off the bat from whomever wanted to add me on facebook but in the last year I've been a little more picky about who I add; especially when CNA's would send friend requests. I use the tools on Facebook that allows you to curate who sees posts and who doesn't. I feel social media can be a great tool to connect, it allows staff see a glimpse of a non work individual and may foster better relationships when similar interests are discovered but I'm careful to share personal information.