I am currently a student (pre-nursing). I am a father, in my early twenties. Today, I finalized my status for volunteering at my church's daycare for during service. I was told that I would not be allowed to change diapers or take children to the bathroom, and that only the women were allowed to.
Now, I have never been discriminated against before, so I was a bit taken back by this. They're saying, just because I have different parts, that I cannot perform common duties toward the care of children? Treating the situation as 'weird' is what makes it weird. No one would think twice about a woman doing these things, and yet in many instances, women abuse children as well. If organizations are concerned about child abuse occurring, there should be a checks and balance system, not a straight antimen, or even antiwoman standard.
I am just shocked that my gender would influence this, and I wonder if I will be discriminated against once more in the future, in nursing school and in the nursing field, because I'm "a male in a female's field." I understand any individual's concern, especially because I know how I feel about my son being cared for. Like I said, I feel the better option would be a 'checks and balances system,' like having a female nurse observe if a male nurse is having to perform anything on a female patient, such as cathing, etc.
Please, anyone, tell me if you think my feelings are irrational.
Not uncommon- and yes you will get just the same from time-to-time in the practice of nursing. Ever see the "Focker" movies? Men in nursing are such a funny joke that the franchise has spun off 2 sequels. We aren't taken as seriously in the community or the media as out female counterparts.
On top of that, I'm a nurse, and would want to be present the first time or two my granddaughter was cared for in the home by a new male (therapist or nurse), A female- Not so much. There are 3 stories a week in the news about a man in a position of trust doing something to a child. I can't name 3 in the last 4 years of a woman doing something to a child that appeared on our local news. Under-reported?, Not investigated?- I don't know, but even as a professional nurse I'd probably have a greater "comfort level" with a female caregiver with my special needs granddaughter. It is just the way it is.
I don't think it's discrimination, so much as some patients aren't comfortable with the opposite sex doing things to them in the hospital setting. I know women that refuse to see a male gynecologist, men that won't let a female doctor do a prostate exam, etc. It can be embarassing. I wouldn't take it personally. I've had to swap patients due to religious customs (pt had to be bathed by a male caregiver) and I wasn't offended. I'm in peds and lots of our teenagers prefer having caregivers of the same sex. It happens, and good coworkers will swap out tasks with you to help out.
If it makes you feel any better, we have a mother right now that refuses to let any of us change her 4 month old. The baby has to be changed every 2 hours d/t chemo. The mom said, and I quote, "I don't want strangers looking at my little girl's vajayjay." It was okay that I was pumping chemicals into her body, doing blood draws, and everything else, but doing pericare was forbidden.
It doesn't happen often, but words failed me for a few minutes after that.
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
You have been given excellent advice and examples of personal experiences. As for your church, you never know what really is behind their policy that only women care for the children......do they believe that it is "women's work" and responsibility to care for the children. You also never know if they have had a problem in the past that was never made public, that this agreement is a part of a treatment plan, parole agreement, plea bargain.
You cannot take offense every time someone makes a request that they prefer someone else to care for them or perform a procedure.......I have had men refuse to allow me to do peri care and demanded an "orderly"......I took no personal offense, it was their personal preference.
Let me tell you a story.......A long time ago, when "male nurses" were not as common as they are now, I worked with a wonderful nurse I'll call Joe. We were all skeptical when "Joe, young, good looking eye candy, was hired about how good of a nurse he would be and he proved that all of our preconceived notions ans stereotypes were bigoted and wrong. "Joe" became on of the girls and I know in the time spent with us he learned more about the female psyche and bodily functions that the ever dreamt possible.
One night, a full moon of course, the ICU was crazed. It seemed as thought someone had place drugs in the patients food for they were all confused, combative and on planet 9. Joe's patient decided to extubate (remove her breathing tube) herself with her feet and proceed to chew her foley (a tube that goes into the bladder and drains urine)in half:eek:. As Joe was one of the girls we never thought a second about who was going to replace this tube. This sweet little old lady fought us like a tiger. She bit, she clawed, she spit, she cursed us and swore like a longshoreman.....but in the end we prevailed and replaced the urine tube into her bladder, we were quite pleased with ourselves. With the way she yelled the rest off the night, she did not require to be returned to life support with a breathing tube.....even though it would have made for a much quieter night.
The next day we went home exhausted. When we returned in the "overview report" of the entire unit.....so we had an idea what was going on.....the day nurse told us that the poor Little old lady in room xyz has been "hallucinating" all day and was having a psychotic episode and had become very paranoid. The nurse then told us that this lady wanted the police called because she had been raped by a Mexican and four blonde B!t*hes held her down. You guessed it Joe was of Hispanic descent and we were all blondes. This poor lady, in her confusion and a "man", Joe, between her legs with a tube being placed in her nether regions, believed she was held down and raped.
We felt HORRIBLE! (no wonder she fought us like a tiger:idea:)
In hind sight, should we have maybe thought what this poor lady might think, from her point of view? Maybe.....probably. But the point being it wasn't discrimination that was going one but society norms and beliefs at work here and maybe we needed to think from the patient's point of view and remember to take into consideration personal preferences and point of view more often and maybe make better choices.
This sweet lady wasn't discriminating but we didn't need to add to her delusions either. Patients/families/facilities will have preferences and we need to respect them.:loveya:
I think it's for your protection as well. Imagine a child coming home and saying "Mr. X took me in the bathroom and pulled down my pants." Of course you were just assisting with the potty, but as soon as some parents hear that, they are going to be upset. Accusations may fly. It's a fact that most sexual predators are men.
I'm in nursing school, and on the adolescent psych unit, none of the male students are allowed in the female patients' rooms for any reason. Not because they don't trust the students, because the patients have a tendency to lie and make stories up to cause trouble and gain attention. Unfortunately, even if a pathological liar says "That student guy touched me inappropriately", it has to be investigated and cleared and it's a big headache for you, the other staff, the administration. It's better to avoid it altogether.
It's not exactly fair, and I understand that it must be very frustrating for you, but it is how it is... I think male nurses are making a lot of headway and for the most part are accepted in most branches of nursing. I would just accept your church's policy, and try to understand that they don't think you'd do anything wrong... but if a situation did arise where a parent was upset or accusatory towards you, it would mean so much trouble for everyone, so it's best just to avoid it. I'm sure anytime anything needs to be put together, or batteries replaced in a toy, they'll be handing you the screwdriver
I still get pt's who don't want me to care for them because I'm too young. I don't take it personally, and often chuckle to myself because little do they know, the older nurse who takes over actually has much less experience than I do!
you won't be excused from your l&d and pedi rotations on the basis of gender, that's for sure! required elements of basic nursing ed.
there are plenty of places for you to work, even in l&d. one of my midwives was a man, and he was terrific. as a matter of fact, my then-husband took him more seriously than the women, so i was able to be sure he was paying attention to at least one midwife.
please do not stress over this too much at this point. or, really, at any point.
as to the church day care, perhaps the diaper changing table could be out in full view of the room? i hate to think of a solution that reinforces their stereotyping but it would work from a practical standpoint.
The last time I checked it was women who steal children andbabies. More female teachersare having sex with theirmale students.Yes,you are being discriminatedagainst
I work as a CNA at a hospital that often has nursing students for clinicals. A male patient had a male student nurse taking care of him. I was checking on all the patients on the hall as usual. I came into his room, asked him if he needed anything just in case something got missed, water etc. I asked him if he wanted a shower soon and he said sure, as long as his male student nurse had nothing to do with it. He wasn't kidding. I taped up his IV when the time came and that's all the help he needed, but still, he wouldn't let his male student nurse do it. The student nurse took care of everything else for the patient. I would count that as prejudice against the student nurse simply because he was a guy.
You will be able to do all of your clinical rotations and your professors should be able to help set it up for you so that no one can make a claim of sexual impropriety. This is a big deal and you should watch for situations where you can be falsely accused. Ask for backup in these situations as you go through school and as you continue your career. I ask for the same backup as a female. I am careful to guard the liability of every male nurse and MD I work with by being willing to help them with intimate procedures on females. My male coworkers help me too so there is give and take.
Be glad you are in a position where your actions will not be subject to sexual review and don't take it personally. Our church has a policy about child safety and is very careful about how children are handled. For example, children are checked in and out of their classes and released only to the authorized person. Exits that are not manned are alarmed and immediately checked if an alarm goes off. Rooms that are not currently in use are locked, etc. Although most infants and children are in the main church service after the age-grouped classes we have rooms with windows and speakers where parents can be with their children and still see and hear the service. We have had a couple of registered sex offenders (male) attend our church from time to time and our church has taken every precaution to make sure our children are not abducted or harmed in any way.
A good nurse is a good nurse regardless of their gender. I work with many wonderful men and do not have a problem doing so. I want them to stay in nursing so I take care to be sure I support them being legally safe as they go along.
I don't think it's discrimination, so much as some patients aren't comfortable with the opposite sex doing things to them in the hospital setting. I know women that refuse to see a male gynecologist, men that won't let a female doctor do a prostate exam, etc. It can be embarassing. I wouldn't take it personally. I've had to swap patients due to religious customs (pt had to be bathed by a male caregiver) and I wasn't offended. I'm in peds and lots of our teenagers prefer having caregivers of the same sex. It happens, and good coworkers will swap out tasks with you to help out.
If it makes you feel any better, we have a mother right now that refuses to let any of us change her 4 month old. The baby has to be changed every 2 hours d/t chemo. The mom said, and I quote, "I don't want strangers looking at my little girl's vajayjay." It was okay that I was pumping chemicals into her body, doing blood draws, and everything else, but doing pericare was forbidden.
It doesn't happen often, but words failed me for a few minutes after that.[/quote
Sorry, it's discrimination. In the hospital it's not personal,but in a church where he's not even being paid. They should be glad to get someone. Well, Grasshopper, Welcome to nursing.
It doesn't happen often, but words failed me for a few minutes after that.
It seemed as thought someone had place drugs in the patients food for they were all confused, combative and on planet 9. Joe's patient decided to extubate (remove her breathing tube) herself with her feet and proceed to chew her foley (a tube that goes into the bladder and drains urine)in half:eek:. As Joe was one of the girls we never thought a second about who was going to replace this tube. This sweet little old lady fought us like a tiger. She bit, she clawed, she spit, she cursed us and swore like a longshoreman.....but in the end we prevailed and replaced the urine tube into her bladder, we were quite pleased with ourselves. With the way she yelled the rest off the night, she did not require to be returned to life support with a breathing tube.....even though it would have made for a much quieter night.
When we returned in the "overview report" of the entire unit.....so we had an idea what was going on.....the day nurse told us that the poor Little old lady in room xyz has been "hallucinating" all day and was having a psychotic episode and had become very paranoid. The nurse then told us that this lady wanted the police called because she had been raped by a Mexican and four blonde B!t*hes held her down. 
You guessed it Joe was of Hispanic descent and we were all blondes. This poor lady, in her confusion and a "man", Joe, between her legs with a tube being placed in her nether regions, believed she was held down and raped. 
(no wonder she fought us like a tiger:idea:)
suanna
1,549 Posts
Not uncommon- and yes you will get just the same from time-to-time in the practice of nursing. Ever see the "Focker" movies? Men in nursing are such a funny joke that the franchise has spun off 2 sequels. We aren't taken as seriously in the community or the media as out female counterparts.
On top of that, I'm a nurse, and would want to be present the first time or two my granddaughter was cared for in the home by a new male (therapist or nurse), A female- Not so much. There are 3 stories a week in the news about a man in a position of trust doing something to a child. I can't name 3 in the last 4 years of a woman doing something to a child that appeared on our local news. Under-reported?, Not investigated?- I don't know, but even as a professional nurse I'd probably have a greater "comfort level" with a female caregiver with my special needs granddaughter. It is just the way it is.