I am currently a student (pre-nursing). I am a father, in my early twenties. Today, I finalized my status for volunteering at my church's daycare for during service. I was told that I would not be allowed to change diapers or take children to the bathroom, and that only the women were allowed to.
Now, I have never been discriminated against before, so I was a bit taken back by this. They're saying, just because I have different parts, that I cannot perform common duties toward the care of children? Treating the situation as 'weird' is what makes it weird. No one would think twice about a woman doing these things, and yet in many instances, women abuse children as well. If organizations are concerned about child abuse occurring, there should be a checks and balance system, not a straight antimen, or even antiwoman standard.
I am just shocked that my gender would influence this, and I wonder if I will be discriminated against once more in the future, in nursing school and in the nursing field, because I'm "a male in a female's field." I understand any individual's concern, especially because I know how I feel about my son being cared for. Like I said, I feel the better option would be a 'checks and balances system,' like having a female nurse observe if a male nurse is having to perform anything on a female patient, such as cathing, etc.
Please, anyone, tell me if you think my feelings are irrational.
Sorry, it's discrimination. In the hospital it's not personal,but in a church where he's not even being paid. They should be glad to get someone. Well, Grasshopper, Welcome to nursing.
Actually, in nursing the sort of behavior the OP ran into is almost unheard of. They would not let him be a member of the staff. That hasn't happened to me at SNF, Home Care, or the hospital.
I don't really expect any religious institution to act rationally, so his experience doesn't surprise me at all.
There's a difference between personal preference and discrimination. Ask any male gynecologist =) My comments were about hospitals, not the church. I don't get involved in any discussions about churches lol
Specializes in M/S and NICU Certified-Now Retired.
I have been a nurse for 40 years. I have worked all over, but I worked Peds for 10 years and NICU for 17 years. They were my love. I have been discriminated against, and it started in nursing school with my instructors. I was perceived as a threat back then because I was a man and seen a threat to a female controlled profession. I had a very bad time. I was failed twice in clinicals despite getting B's in theory. One of my instructors was an old Army nurse and the other was her office mate. I found out secretly, from instructors that were of a more modern perception, that they said that males never will belong in nursing. Nursing school was a nightmare and I was badly scarred by it for many years. Luckily, I went to school back then, with a large number of field RN's who were administrative types and had been nursing for years. They saw the blatant discrimination and were always there to encourage me and tell ne it was not like that in the real world. That and counselling helped me get through. I never fought it because as I was told, "You may win the war but loose the battle". I stuck it out and graduated.
I started out in Med/Surg because I wanted to cement the skills I had learned about. I had so much to learn and priority setting was the most important. What I learned in Med/Surg was the foundation for all the rest of my nursing life. I was in a major teaching hospital and was one day floated to the Maternity area. When I had gotten there and reported, I was told I could not work there because I was a man. That was 1973. I said I was an RN and had full training like all the other nurses. She called the Maternity Supervisor who was a very nice black woman. Who said that the current hospital rules did not allow men to work in OB. She apologized but said she wanted to talk to me about it sometime. I went back to my unit. That nurse and I had 3 discussions over the next 2 months about discrimination that goes on. After our talks, she brought a proposal to the nursing administration meeting that outlawed discrimination and would allow any licensed person to perform the job they had been trained for. After kicking it around for several months, the CNO took this proposal to the Board. After 6 months, it was approved and a wrong was corrected.
The next time I got floated to OB, although you could tell the nurses were hesitant, they cooporated with me and I had a great day and spoiled every patient I had. The next week that little supervisor came up to me in Med/Surg and took me aside. She told me , not only were the patients happy with me but her nurses were amazed that a man could handle OB so competently. She told me the nurses would love to have me back anytime. All I needed was a chance to prove myself.
Since that time, many minor situations have come up but all have been resolved with little problem. I would always ask, back then, if my female patient was uncomfortable being taken care of by a male. Most did not care. The ones that did, I traded assignments with my fellow nurses so that the patient was happy. In Peds, I always had the possibility of accusations in the back of my mind, but in 10 years, not one situation arose that ever called into account my professionalism. There are always situations you will encounter with patients and their feelings and needs. Discrimination is inherant in all of us no matter how much we deny it. Patients are not in the hospital to have their personalities changed. It is a matter of analyzing the situation you encounter and making small changes that can alleviate the conflict. I have always chosen my conflicts very carefully but have pursued them with logic and passion. I have never regretted my choice to be a nurse.
During clinicals I never had any issues with my gender causing problems. I was able to complete my L&D, postpartum, and pediatrics clinicals without incident. The instructors seemed to make a bigger deal out of my gender than my patients.I've experienced some stuff since but nothing that makes me regret becoming a nurse. You'll find your individual pitfalls and adjust accordingly. My advice : be polite and friendly with your coworkers but be very careful about what you say. As far as patients go most seem to enjoy having a male nurse, especially on my floor where it's a rare occurrence.
I haven't been in the field very long, but so far I have experienced very little discrimination because of my gender. The only incidences that come to mind are the rare occasions that a women might want female help with a bed bath or bathroom, etc. During OB rotation, I did see one Muslim lady that didn't want any male caregivers, but over all it's not as commonplace as some people would have you believe. Also, I've heard it said that if you have to give care to a female patient "below the waste" that you should try to have a female staff member present. Of course this is all due to legal mumbo jumbo, but such is life in this society.
Being male may put you in a slight predisposition for discrimination, but your interaction with the patient will quickly either confirm or disarm any discriminatory feelings they may have. I have occasionally gotten the feeling that a patient was initially uncomfortable about having a male nurse, but within a couple of minutes of talking with them I could see them recognize that I was professional and took my job and their well-being seriously. I actually just had an older female patient recently tell me that although she was initially skeptical when males started entering the field, she now preferred male nurses because she felt like we took our job more seriously and provided better care.
Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.
unquestionably, as a single parent of 3 children, my advise to you is just go along with their so call rules, and don't take it personal learn from this experience and move on...as i wish you the very best in all of your future endeavors~....aloha~
unquestionably, as a single parent of 3 children, my advise to you is just go along with their so call rules, and don't take it personal learn from this experience and move on...as i wish you the very best in all of your future endeavors~....aloha~
you are right. just do your job, get paid(the most important),and go home. leave them and the rest of the loonies to play their little rain dear games. don't give a thought as to who likes you and who doesn't. just do your job. if they say anything. just quit, life is too short.
I don't know if this is the case everywhere, but to work in my state in a situation where you might come into contact with children (including nurses in the hospital) you have to get pre-employment verification from the state that you have not been convicted (plead guilty, etc) of child abuse. This goes for both male RNs and female RNs (and male/female LPNs, techs, school teachers, daycare workers, etc, etc...). Point is, there is no discrimination on this matter.
However, if a doctor is doing a pelvic exam on a female (adults too!), it requires the chaperone of a female staff member. At that same time, I have been called in as a chaperone when a doctor is doing a testicular exam on a male. It is not a matter of thinking one gender is more guilty, it is not a matter of one gender being more trustworthy, and it is definitely not a matter of discrimination. This is just how it is, and I have no problem with it.
Thank you both for your response. Yes, they do perform background checks, and I agree, that isn't always an indicator of sexual deviation. My point being, even though men are statistically more common in child abuse, the fact that women do abuse children as well, does not mean that no preventions should be taken to prevent the women from abusing the children. Like I said, a checks and balances system would be better. Also, it's not as though I will trust any and all people, men or women. I just usually distrust them the same for the care of my child, or in a sense, am critical about them. Certainly places I know I am comfortable with, and certain others I am not, but it never has to do with gender. It's reminding me a bit of the movie Daddy Day Care!
I am glad to hear that it might not be bad as a nurse. I am just worried, as I've heard of men getting shunted out of L&D clinicals, etc.
Thanks for the advice, everyone! :)
Statistically fat middle aged non-married women are the primary abductors of children from hospitals. We need a big sign in LnD that says no fat chicks. Just kidding, but wouldn't it be funny if statistics applied in all aspects of work?
I had no problem with my L and D clinicals. Most likely the nurses who work there will try to get you to assist in the delivery of a baby if you are a male nursing student. LnD nurses were probably the biggest sweet hearts that I worked with on my clinical rotations.
Here is my $0.02. Yes you will be discriminated against as a male Nurse. It will happen but there won't be much of a legal system of public support to help you.
Here are some of the things that have happened in my career.
1. response from staffer at MGA healthcare Phoenix, AZ - - - " I won't staff a male nurse but if you know of any female nurses and you refer them to me I will give you our referral bonus which is $300" - denied job based on gender - This was the first job that I applied for after getting my LPN license. I remember it well. They are involved in a sexual harassment lawsuit according to word of mouth. Hope the ladies that work for them sue their asses into the ground.
2. Hospice in Colorado - "I don’t think our families would be comfortable with a male nurse coming to their house" - denied job based on gender
3. Outpatient in Flagstaff, AZ. 1st e-mail we love your qualifications and would like to set up a time to talk with you about joining our team. 1st phone call "ohh you're a guy" - denied job based on gender.
4. Unnamed smaller hospice in Phoenix, AZ "I don't know that we could really put a guy in this position." - Denied job based on gender.
and on and on and on.
Discrimination against Men in the profession of nursing is real and generally accepted by society as a whole. At least that has been my personal experience. 2 things to consider though. 1 you probably don't want to work with these douche bags anyway, and 2 when you find a team that appreciates you for who you are you will be monumentally more happy.
Sexism is sexism regardless of how you package it or who you discriminate against. He should be offended just as an African American should be offended when someone discriminates against them because crime rates are higher among African Americans than Whites. You can draw all sorts of unfair conclusions based on generalizations. Should we assume all African Americans are less educated since in general the percentage of high school dropouts among blacks is higher than whites, of course not, besides the imbalance of ecosocial facts that drive it, we would never accept labeling all African Americans as uneducated inspite of the fact. People who are willing to justify discrimination and sexism against one gender invite the same for themselves
you will be facing discrimination. All male nurses do. The thing is to get a lot of pieces of paper after your name, grow a couple and come down hard on the ones that were rotten to you.
MN-Nurse, ASN, RN
1,398 Posts
Actually, in nursing the sort of behavior the OP ran into is almost unheard of. They would not let him be a member of the staff. That hasn't happened to me at SNF, Home Care, or the hospital.
I don't really expect any religious institution to act rationally, so his experience doesn't surprise me at all.