WHY are nurses so catty??

MMARN, BSN, RN · Jan 7, 2006

I swear sometimes i don't know WHY i'm in this profession. My mom works at a job as a RN and was limping one day. Her knee bothers her from time to time, etc...she's overweight (and working on it) but it gives her trouble at times. Instead of someone ASKING her what was wrong, one of the nurses ran to the manager and told her that my mom couldn't "keep up" and didn't seem to be quick enough for the job cuz she seemed disabled. This is a NEW job for my mom, so she's still on orientation technically. The manager called her in and made her take off today to go to Occ health and have it tested so she could be cleared to work. WTF?? She told her "we'll figure out what to do pending what the doc says." so she didn't work today and lost that time worked. Of course she went to occ health, the Doc tested her etc...and cleared her no problem. She told him she was excercising, walking and taking meds for it. Forgot to wrap it that day, but was not having any trouble SINCE that day. I have 2 problems with this. 1 is that NOBODY asked her what was up with her knee that day. NOBODY. 2 is that the manager just jumped on it because of what this other nurse SAID. WHY do nurses feel like they have to police each other's performance? UGH i'm just disgusted.

I would be disgusted too!!!!! How dare they? :angryfire I'm sorry, but there are two sides to each story. Why couldn't they just ask her what was wrong instead of assuming that she was DISABLED? How do they even diagnose something without anything being there? I don't get it. I really hope your mom does something about this. It's not fair. I would be outraged if they did something like that to my mom or to me. That seems to me like prejudice. Think about it. Why would that nurse run to the nurse manager? Wuz up with that? Hopefully, that nurse has a good excuse as to why she jumped to conclusions and as to why the nurse manager did the same. Good luck and I hope that your mom wasn't very hurt over that.

Ugh. That makes me SO MAD!!!!!:angryfire :angryfire :angryfire

sms · Jan 7, 2006

....this thread needs to be closed!!!!!!!!:stone :stone

kukukajoo, LPN · Jan 7, 2006

Thanks Kadokin I appreciate you saying that.

You know, one thing I do is always remember Karma is out there and will bite em in the butt one of these days!

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Jan 7, 2006

I agree, this thread DOES need to be closed, since some people have, once again, taken it upon themselves to speak "for" an entire gender (i.e. the "women are catty, that's just that" type of ********), and in the process are being degrading and insulting.

froghair · Jan 7, 2006

last night after i posted my response i asked the girls i worked with what they thought, there response could be summed up in one word...

hormones......... all of them agreed on this

MMARN, BSN, RN · Jan 7, 2006

OK. I am a woman. I personally didn't find the posts that generalized women as catty offensive. I'm not a nurse yet, but in my job, THE WOMEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE MOST DRAMATIC!!!! I have met THE biggest dramaqueens ever. It's absolutely amazing. Now, the men don't stay behind by a long shot. They also gossip and sometimes get just as "catty" as the next woman.

However, I don't buy into any of that stuff. I go to work, do my job, talk with my friends (more like acquaintances) and keep my distance. I know so much crap about everybody (which most of the gossip came from women :rolleyes: ) but I choose to keep to myself and do my job.

I am not saying that ALL women are catty or dramaqueens or whatever. I am just saying that as my experience goes women are pretty much the ones who "get the ball rolling". It sucks that women do this, but it does happen. I have been fortunate to not have to go through this, but in my church (CHURCH PEOPLE) a GIRL started talking crap about me without even knowing me.

Women, and nurses (all genders) should stick together let all the petty stuff out of the work place. There's just no room for that.

ortess1971 · Jan 8, 2006

I think many women(not all) are catty as well. I've experienced it firsthand. I disagree though that it's hormones or some thing physical that makes some women that way-I think it is society that breeds and encourages such behavior. Young girls, for the most part, are encouraged to be "nice" even when they have an issue with someone. The issue has to get addressed somehow so the kid feels as though she has to approach the problem in a stealthy, sly manner. This is where backstabbing comes into play. Such behavior can be fixed even among adults- but it takes a manager/supervisor with TRUE leadership quality and to me that means someone who doesn't play favorites and someone who is not afraid to address the bullies even if it makes him/her unpopular with the clique. One of my coworkers is doing her clinical ladder on "horizontal violence" and while people made fun of the whole topic at first at least people in my department feel more comfortable fighting against the bullies-it opened some eyes and made the "evil" people in my dept. a little nervous! :lol2:

LeahJet, ASN, RN · Jan 8, 2006

I agree, this thread DOES need to be closed, since some people have, once again, taken it upon themselves to speak "for" an entire gender (i.e. the "women are catty, that's just that" type of ********), and in the process are being degrading and insulting.

Yep...I agree.

This subject is old and tired.

Bipley · Jan 9, 2006

I'm so sorry this happened to your mother. I'd like to think it happened because the other nurse was genuinely concerned that your mom may not be able to keep up with the strenuous pace and hurt herself further but the other side of me thinks yes...this may have been approached differently.[/quote']
If the one running to the floor mommy was that concerned, she should have A) gone to the nurse who was limping and offered assistance, if needed. Or B) assume that since the one limping is a nurse she surely knows how to take care of herself.
These issues just really make me angry. Running to the floor mommy is so childish and lacking in the least bit of social skills. If you can't talk to your coworker and find yourself in the floor mommy's office more than once every six months or so, perhaps you (not specific you but general you) have too much time on your hands, need to realize that it isn't your job to police the floor so take your nose back out of the business of others. Most of all... if you find yourself in the floor mommy's office more than every six months or so regarding a coworker, perhaps it isn't your COWORKERS but YOU!!! Again, general you and not specific you.
I personally would have mentioned that she appeared to be limping. My first reaction would have been a minor injury, the kind we ALL get from time to time. I would have then asked if there was anything I could do.
I too find that as nurses we're trained to "look out" for each other a little too much. There really isn't the same sense of comraderie and togetherness that say, doctors have. (in the sticking together aspect). But that's just me. Z
That's the problem, they really don't. They don't look out for one another but instead they stab one another in the back. As a previous manager I realized that many times the one policing the floor and assuming I wanted them to be my eyes and ears on the floor... truth is, they were lacking in their own skills and by "telling" on others they were simply trying to make others look bad so they would look good.
I finally got rid of one mega troublemaker. She was the type waiting at my office door for me to get to work in the morning. I had to hear about every bloody detail of what someone else did or said. "This RN took 18 minutes for a break instead of her permitted 15 minutes!" Or, "That LPN's shoes have threads in them that are not white. You know, Bipley, policy states only white shoes. They aren't really white if they have silver threads." Best of all, "That RN was rude to me, she had no right to be rude to me!" Aaarrrrggggghhhhh You know how a tiny little poodle yips instead of barking and it almost hurts to hear them go on and on? Yeah, that was this nurse. I'm reminded of a scene in MASH where Margaret was doing essentially the same thing and all the guy could see were her lips, no voice, just lips going a million miles per hour.
She had to go. If she had that much time to be watching the behaviors of others she obviously had more time for patient care and one on one time with her own patients that she was not utilizing.
I had a coworker like that. I was talking to my sis on the phone. My Dad was dying, my boss knew it, he was totally cool with me taking out time to get updates (I had flight reservations that afternoon). I didn't tell my coworkers about it as they would then ask me for updates on my Dad and that just put me in tears. So, I didn't want anyone to know... just my boss.
I was talking to my sis on the phone and I said something like, "What did I miss??" It was part of the overall conversation. My coworker was trying to hear me but with other noise around the room she misunderstood. She went running to my manager telling him I was on the phone to a patient and said, "What a B!tch???" Of course, he knew I wouldn't say such a thing to a patient and wasn't the least bit upset but he told me I might want to be careful not to talk on the phone within ear shot of her so she wouldn't know what my conversations were about.
She had NO idea who I was talking to and why in the world would I call my patient and talk to them on the phone when I could look over the desk and see them all?
People like this just make me mad.
Okay, end of vent.

following_faith · Jan 9, 2006

I have to wonder if the part of this thing is kind of a self-fulfiling prophecy for some. I mean, right from when you get into school (maybe even before) you are told again and again the "eat their young/each other" thing-so people tend to have the defenses up before they are even out there. I even have seen it in my clinicals-some of the students take everything the wrong way because they assume everything they are being told by the nurses is because the nurses are "mean to students." They walked in with the armor before anyone had called a battle!

It is a viscious (sp?) circle-if I find a place to work where there is good conditions, morale and respect...I am going to hang on to it until I retire!

lisabeth · Jan 9, 2006

Why are nurses so catty? Because nurses are mostly women and women are just catty.

I must say, I am afraid it is a woman thing. Believe me, try working at a law firm. :madface: The attorneys are better than legal assistants.

I am kind of surprised though cause the way nursing students encourage and help each other, I thought the nursing profession would be more supportive too. :confused: I dont know why.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jan 9, 2006

As a woman, I will confidently opine that men tend to be better 'team players' than women. Men are less likely to gossip, sabotage, backstab, and play emotional mind games with their coworkers. Men can actually place their personal feelings aside for the sake of getting the job done.

Many women, on the other hand, are emotional, gossipy, nosey, and feel jealously threatened by the most idiotic things. Nursing is a female-dominated profession, so there's going to be an abundant amount of cattiness in nursing.