WHY are nurses so catty??

kadokin, ASN, RN · Jun 3, 2005

I swear sometimes i don't know WHY i'm in this profession. My mom works at a job as a RN and was limping one day. Her knee bothers her from time to time, etc...she's overweight (and working on it) but it gives her trouble at times. Instead of someone ASKING her what was wrong, one of the nurses ran to the manager and told her that my mom couldn't "keep up" and didn't seem to be quick enough for the job cuz she seemed disabled. This is a NEW job for my mom, so she's still on orientation technically. The manager called her in and made her take off today to go to Occ health and have it tested so she could be cleared to work. WTF?? She told her "we'll figure out what to do pending what the doc says." so she didn't work today and lost that time worked. Of course she went to occ health, the Doc tested her etc...and cleared her no problem. She told him she was excercising, walking and taking meds for it. Forgot to wrap it that day, but was not having any trouble SINCE that day. I have 2 problems with this. 1 is that NOBODY asked her what was up with her knee that day. NOBODY. 2 is that the manager just jumped on it because of what this other nurse SAID. WHY do nurses feel like they have to police each other's performance? UGH i'm just disgusted.

I have probolem #3 with this situation. Namely, why did the Occ health doc release her if she is clearly not able to perform her duties? And, guess what, it is the occ health doc's job to "'get you back to work", no matter the cost(especially to the individual). I have personallly experienced this w/my husband, who, despite the occ health doc's assessment, was not able to EVEN ANSWER THE PHONE or OPEN A DOOR w/out ungodly pain until(6 months later, one orthopedic surgeon had the guts to quesion the initial assessment and repaired "the worst rotator cuff tear I have ever seen in my life). What is the deal w/these occuption heallth people? I know they have a job to dol, but, realy,

nursemike, ASN, RN · Jun 3, 2005

Yes, women can really act like backstabbin b****es sometimes. There is no doubt about this, ask any woman. There is, however, a certain male element that feels it is "women's work" when the male charge RN's back is "out", to pick up the slack for him. Sorry, I'm a little sensitive on this subject as I have a male colleague who seems to feel his job entails little more than supervising "'plebes"' such as lpns and techs in performing the actual work of nursing. Too bad, dude, our job description as RNS requires us to use(as RNS) our ability to physically lift our pts as needs must (w/help of course). Unfortunately, this particular nurse seems to be capable of little else but whining and complaining. And, wouldn't you know it, admin and certain physicians will listen to this RNs opinions over nurses who have spent more time w/this pt than he has! Even though we are in a female-dominated field, we still have to take crap from/defer to males. Never mind that there may be some females that have a bit more insight than the males. Oh, well, I guess it is a man's world. Sorry, I know there are a LOT of REALLY GOOD male nurses out there, I just find it irksome that some docs will listen to the opinions of a male nurse over a female nurse. I do not believe they know it all just because they are males. Any one have differing opinions? Please post. I need to know!

Actually--and I could get in real trouble for revealing this--it turns out men actually do know more than women--a lot more. Modesty and survival instinct prevent us from admitting it, but all men know pretty much everything there is to know. Of course, I can only say this because I am confident no women will believe it, and our secret is safe.

But, seriously...I have worked with guys whose backs were conveniently out when there was work to do, and women who couldn't lift anything heavier than nachos because they were pregnant. They come, and sooner or later they go, and even when it's sooner, it feels later than it should. There are jerks of every race, creed, and gender.

NP2BE · Jun 3, 2005

Generalizing women as mostly catty, and men more team oriented only further divides nurses. That's really something the profession doesn't need.

no, the profession doesn't need cattiness or divisiveness of any sort, but honesty, the profession does need. I have seen more examples of cattienss then I have at any other job When a nursing instructor told us that in the second semester of nursing school, something like "this unit needs a few more men, that is why they act the way they do around here" , I couldn't beleive she said that. I don't think its like this all the time, but I have seen and heard such horrible things like I have never heard of before. The answer by others to me over and over again so far has been the competitive female to female nature of women.

pricklypear · Jun 3, 2005

I have never worked in another profession, so I don't know how cattiness is spread across the board. Having heard a lot of stories about general office politics, it seems like it exists anywhere there is a group of people working together.

I don't know if it can be eradicated - probably not. I think the rest of us just need to try to rise above it. And teach the new nurses by example.

I also haven't worked with enough men in nursing to be able to form an opinion on whether it's a gender-specific trait. Men are just as competitive as women in any field.

I have to say - this is not the first time I have heard of someone going to L&D and being chewed up and spit out for no good reason. I've never worked L&D, but I have known several really nice people who have tried to get into it and come back with their tails between their legs. What's up with that?

RN4NICU, LPN, LVN · Jun 3, 2005

I have to say - this is not the first time I have heard of someone going to L&D and being chewed up and spit out for no good reason. I've never worked L&D, but I have known several really nice people who have tried to get into it and come back with their tails between their legs. What's up with that?

Sounds to me like the L&D nurses in question like to work short-staffed. I say let them. When they learn to play nice, then they can have help.

dmarie (GA) · Jan 6, 2006

Your perception is your reality. Sort of like a self-fullfilling prophecy. If you expect women to be "catty", if you expect your female co-workers to behave a certain way simply because they are female, you experience that very thing.

I'm not saying there haven't been women who have disappointed me in this aspect. I'm still a nursing student, but I worked in a general office enviorment for several years, and there ARE women who gossip and behave like children. But if you can realize that the source of this behavior is insecurity and unenlightenment, you can rise above it, wait for their childish behavior to be recognized by others, because it surely will eventually, and continue to move on with your career.

We are not all on the same level of maturity apparently. Some still behave as if they were in the 7th grade. However, if I continue to do the best job I can, and keep my mind focused on my goal, I won't have time for their stupid and childish games. And I'll be wise enough not to let it bog me down.

RNin2007 · Jan 6, 2006

Why are nurses so catty? Because nurses are mostly women and women are just catty.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

bluesky, BSN, RN · Jan 6, 2006

Female nurses are catty because they are women, and frankly, many women are catty. Male nurses expect anyone who takes a job to be physically able to perform. It's not personal. In fact, the NM is doing her job by sending the newly hired RN to get eval'd. If the new RN can't physically do the job, now is the time to find out. Again, it's not personal, it's business.
Not to get into stereotypes, but this is only an issue because most nurses are women. Women look at this problem and see an injustice to the individual. Men look at it and see an injustice to the team.
Meow.
Pete Fitzpatrick
RN, CCRN, CFRN, EMT-P

Clearly men are superior.

jodyangel, RN · Jan 6, 2006

Amen sister. I'm in a new job .. in about 3 weeks and Already I'm overhearing gossip and nasty things said about some of the Day Shift nurses. I've been a nurse for over 30 years..old like you hehe and the cattyness Definitely is there.

Yeah, those type of nurses DO tattle and look for trouble.

I don't have an answer. Just watch your back, do your job and don't expect to make real friends at work. IF you do, you're lucky, but don't look to your job for real friends. Sad huh?

Oh, and so far they seem to like me LOL, but who really knows?.......

It's not just nursing. My sister once worked in a law office with 10 other women, and they just about destroyed her with their glares and their whispers every time she walked by......as an older worker with not-so-great clothes, she apparently downgraded the office's public appearance, so the supervisor stashed her in a tiny cubicle waaaaaay in the back where she couldn't be seen. These women never invited her to lunch, never even spoke to her unless business demanded it, gossiped about her even though they knew nothing about her, and within 3 months my sister was a quivering wreck. Thankfully she got smart and shook the dust of the place from her feet before they managed to crush her spirit completely.......but that's only one example.
I myself have worked in factories and offices, where the women just tore each other to pieces while the men looked on and said "That's why women belong at home, barefoot and pregnant". It's a horrible stereotype, but we don't help ourselves much by perpetuating it on the job........and nurses ARE some of the worst!! Where I work now, there are only a few, but those few are vocal and so they get noticed.......I got written up just last week for not getting a patient on telemetry when he was admitted, only problem was, I was on lunch break (at 3PM!! :angryfire ) and didn't even know he had arrived. That was the result of one Miss Perfect Nurse who has never done anything even slightly wrong in her entire life (we won't talk about missed orders, leaving a mess for the next shift, or undocumented IV starts). She's a power broker, and now they've made her a charge nurse......the very first day, she gave me an assignment, then after I'd made up my 'brains' and gotten all my pt. information, she changed it. :angryfire So I started out behind, and while I did get caught up eventually it was still a huge PITA.
The only thing any of us can do about this sort of thing is to refuse to participate in it ourselves........stay above the fray, don't get involved in the office politics, and above all, lead by example. It's not worth getting worked up over. Of course, I'm older and it's easier for me to not care about what 'people' think about me (although it does piss me off when management buys into it), but it can be done anywhere, and by anyone.....you just have to ignore it all and do the job you're being paid for.
And that's all I have to say about THAT. :stone

Kelly_the_Great · Jan 6, 2006

Clearly men are superior.

Yeah, right...And if men do happen to act "catty" it obviously must be due to the "feminization" of our culture/society... :uhoh3: (said facetiously)

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Jan 6, 2006

Why are nurses so catty? Because nurses are mostly women and women are just catty.

Sorry, but I have to agree.

The best way to stay clear of cattiness is not to engage in it ourselves. If we maintain a positive persona, if we are supportive of our peers (and ourselves!), if we maintain professional standards, we go a long way toward minimizing this sort of poor behavior.

The worst I saw was in nursing school.

In the hospital, the nurses' bitterness tended to be passively directed toward patients rather than each other, although there was some of that as well.

But I love nursing, and I certainly wouldn't let a couple of b***hy cohorts ruin my day.

As to the OP, Mom RN was limping, and a new employee. An employer may have serious (and legitimate) concerns about future liability. Although they might have been kinder about it all, I think their action (sending her to occupational health for an eval) was right on.

Again, sorry.....

froghair · Jan 6, 2006

as a male heres my take on it. women tend to talk about one another which can bring a devide and cause things to be catty. men will talk......but nowhere near as much as women....... but it is more often than not about sport, cigars tv or the like. women tend to be more personal in there discussions. were i work now there is some real catty crap going on. its just amazing some of the things that are brought up. often it seems like a power play and one up manship. how should it be tackled....head on by management were the different parties are told point blank to cut the crap. the problem that this catty behaviour can lead to is information not passed on which can be to the detriment of the patient in the end.