WHY are nurses so catty??

cardiacRN2006, ADN, RN · May 24, 2005

I really feel that there is a huge difference between assertive (or what people commonly term women as aggressive) and "catty". A nurse who stands up for herself or her pts (or his), or who is genuinely looking out for the interests of their pts is not what the OP was talking about. That nurse was in no way looking out for the pts when she complained about the other nurse's injury. She was just being mean. I have worked in L&D and in the ICU. I could barely breathe in that L&D dept because they chewed me up and spit me right out--and it had nothing to do with pt care, it had to do with being mean. And I have to tell you that a male nurse has never, ever gone to the lengths to belittle me as the female nurses that I have come across in the last 10 years have. Never.

I was just at an orientation today for a externship and one of the nurses there made quite a few comments about 'students' and just went out of her way to make me feel inferior because she is already a nurse and I am not. Why? Why do people have to make other people feel this way? Some people in this post put the blame on the people being bullied because they "allowed" people to do it, or because of how they 'respond' to that behavior. Bull-honkey. People need to be responsible for THEIR actions, not the other way around. I really felt sad for that nurse who tried her best to belittle me today, how petty is she? Although she failed at her attempts, she will soon find some other victim to harrass...

URO-RN · May 24, 2005

Let's please can the tired old gender stereotypes and protest and find valid reasons for the behavior not make excuses for it with bias.[/QUOTE]
:yelclap:

mattsmom81 · May 24, 2005

Wow. Lots of bias in this thread. In my experience, the 'cattiness' experienced in nursing is a result of the environmental pressures and lack of control, and human beings using various levels of lateral violence to cope. In this type of environment coupled with extreme stress, some will stoop to this 'kick the cat' mentality. I've seen this with both men and women. It also happened with an all men environment in my DH's last job...it was an oppressive environment where the guys felt undermined, disrespected, powerless. Sound familiar???

All we can do is recognize that conditions are ripe for ugly behavior in a difficult environment..and try to stay above it. Men AND women.

kristina g · May 24, 2005

they do , we need to have our needs met, we think if we care for someone else, they will meet out needs, but this never happens. We live for approval and usually do not get it, so if someone else looks bad, we can look good. Once you go for professional help, or have the guts to look it up in the DSM and change your BX, you can be awful to work with, this is why they say "nurses eat their own" After I got counseling I want out of nursing-Also, the hosp. can work us 1/2 to death, but they do not want comp cost

I swear sometimes i don't know WHY i'm in this profession. My mom works at a job as a RN and was limping one day. Her knee bothers her from time to time, etc...she's overweight (and working on it) but it gives her trouble at times. Instead of someone ASKING her what was wrong, one of the nurses ran to the manager and told her that my mom couldn't "keep up" and didn't seem to be quick enough for the job cuz she seemed disabled. This is a NEW job for my mom, so she's still on orientation technically. The manager called her in and made her take off today to go to Occ health and have it tested so she could be cleared to work. WTF?? She told her "we'll figure out what to do pending what the doc says." so she didn't work today and lost that time worked. Of course she went to occ health, the Doc tested her etc...and cleared her no problem. She told him she was excercising, walking and taking meds for it. Forgot to wrap it that day, but was not having any trouble SINCE that day. I have 2 problems with this. 1 is that NOBODY asked her what was up with her knee that day. NOBODY. 2 is that the manager just jumped on it because of what this other nurse SAID. WHY do nurses feel like they have to police each other's performance? UGH i'm just disgusted.

pricklypear · May 24, 2005

I don't think you could be correct about how most nurses are co-dependant or borderline. I know I'm not. And I'm thinking about some of the people I work with who may behave in the way we are describing here at work, but not elsewhere. I think it has some to do with basic personality, but also with the environment at work. I think you are right about some people looking for the bad in others so they will feel better about themselves. I also think it has to do with some people who have very large, but fragile egos. They feel threatened, defensive and need to be the first to lash out.

pebbles, BSN, RN · May 24, 2005

In my experience, the people in the workplace who do not engage in "gossip" about others - positive or negative, are the ones who are not gossiped about themselves and who are universally respected by others.

memily2000 · May 24, 2005

Yup, he's right.

I have to agree. Women are more catty than men, and nurses are sometimes more catty than common. I think this is because they have a hard and serious job, so when they have something to say to they say it (except not usually to their patients). No beating around the bush. I work at a state mental hospital on an all male ward. I once saw a nurse totally bash another one into tears because she "hid out" for most of the day, in front of all the staff and patients. Way unprofessional.

allnurses Guide · May 24, 2005

I have to agree. Women are more catty than men, and nurses are sometimes more catty than common. I think this is because they have a hard and serious job, so when they have something to say to they say it (except not usually to their patients). No beating around the bush. I work at a state mental hospital on an all male ward. I once saw a nurse totally bash another one into tears because she "hid out" for most of the day, in front of all the staff and patients. Way unprofessional.

This should never be tolerated by anyone. The person being "bashed" or those watching. It needs to be stopped immediately by someone with the professionalism to step in and diffuse the situation.

It takes everyone to keep bullies from getting away with it.

I had a nurse attempt to dress down a CNA at the nurse's station once in front of the doc's and other staff . . . . she was immediately quietly confronted and the situation taken behind closed doors - where it belongs.

steph

madwife2002, BSN, RN · May 24, 2005

Can I ask what is the definition of 'catty'? Cause the word 'catty is not that bad in UK??? :idea:

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 24, 2005

I once saw a nurse totally bash another one into tears because she "hid out" for most of the day, in front of all the staff and patients. Way unprofessional.

So you're going to judge a whole profression and the female gender on this incident?

I'm not trying to change your mind, as I've said enough already. I'm sure your opinion is based on more than just one example.

We can all come up with plenty of examples of girls and boys behaving badly. I had an assistant manager dress me down in front of all my coworkers.

I still choose not to label and judge an entire profession. Too many good people who far outweight the unprofressional ones.

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 24, 2005

Can I ask what is the definition of 'catty'? Cause the word 'catty is not that bad in UK???

From dictionary.com

"Subtly cruel or malicious; spiteful".

What does it mean in the UK?

nurse1995 · May 24, 2005

:angryfire I agree, when i was still green, i worked stepdown and icu, the one lpn that worked there took it upon herself to tattle on everything i did.I would ask questions, but apparently, i asked toomany, Any way this started, well before i became a nurse, before i ever knew she existed, apparently my husband beat her brother up years ago when they were teens, and she saw may last name on my badge, and made my life hell, from then on. i was eventually told to quit or be fired. so i stayed out of hospital's pretty much, since then. :angryfire