Why are nurses such back-stabbers?

[RNforLongTime]

Why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? Behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. Why are there some nurses who feel superior when they tell on someone to the manager? This recently happened to me and I thought I had a good rapport with my co-workers yet one of them ratted me out to the boss on an off-the-cuff remark that I made. Why does this happen? Is it because the majority of nurses are women and women are catty individuals. I'm a woman btw. From now on though, I am just going to do my work, and only talk to the other nurses/aides about clinically relevant stuff only. Other than that, I'll keep my nose in a book. Actually, I won't be working at this current place much longer. There are staffing issues that put my license in jeoprady so I am starting a job hunt after the holidays.

So, why do we do this to eachother?

[Era]

I agree with NurseHobbit! Some people's lives are just so empty that they just have to excite it by aggravating someone else's. Unfortunately, this happens where I work now. We have been merged into one ward ( Male & female ) and there is this one nurse who 'spies' on other nurses and e-mails everything to our ward manager.

Her motive for @**e kissing? Empty life and wanting to go up the 'professional ladder'. It is our profession that has taught me to bite back!

I now go to work, do my job 110%, talk to my colleagues ( patients & relatives too, of course ) who interest me and ignore everyone else. Does it sound mean being like this? It gets you out of trouble and maybe even gets you out of the ' gossip ' circle of the ward.

[jmckeith]

First, I do not claim to know it all or have all the answers. I have read every post on this topic and have formulated an opinion.

Being a supervisor in a huge Fortune 200 company, I have learned a golden rule; do not listen to gossipers; they only fuel discontent. Try not to say anything behind someone's back that you could not or would not say to their face.

IMHO, all the energy going into backstabbing would be better served to lifting the profession of nursing, including better pay and benefits. All of us who have read this post are acutely aware of the problems. We can go from here and continue to contribute to the problem or use that energy and contribute to the profession. By the way, I'm a male for what it's worth.:uhoh21:

Be careful of the feet you step on today for they may be attached to the buttocks you kiss tomorrow.

[Sabby_NC]

so sad really.

i am just so blessed to work in a predominantly female hospice organization who truly do care about each other. if one rn is having a busy day with her case load one of us is more than happy to pick up a patient.

we would not survive in our job if we did not have the love and support of each other.

i believe our organization works well and this extends from the top down.

our managers are so supportive. even our busy days we still manage to smile and 'egg' each other on.

it is no wonder we have people knocking our doors down for a job.

we have a monthly meeting where awards are given out to deserved members such as the attitude and gratitude award etc. we also have a 12 member team ( picked out at each monthly meeting ) to present some kind of fun, team building skit etc.

you, yourself, can make a change if you are prepared to.

change your attitude, be bright and supportive, i wonder how that would rub off eh?

from one happy contented rn.:icon_biggrin:

[epiphany]

i

i also believe ignoring a situation does nothing to change it.

how do you think we can change a situation by blaming an epidemic behavior on an x chromosome?

[RNHawaii34]

i think basically its a manipulation thing. managers know that people are looking to make their lives easier and they choose to appear to reward people who spill about things that go on when they arent around, as well as it strokes the ego of management to see co-workers barking about each other. youve surely heard of divide and conquer. little do these people know they are doing nothing to promote themselves but in most cases being used until the rest of the staff cant stand to work with them any longer and they eventually get squeezed out.

ive seen it over and over,, eventually the write-ups start coming on the person who likes to recount everything and eventually they (management) cant ignore it. i hate write-ups by the way,, i think they need to be used gingerly and after much analysis of a situation. write-ups can be as bad as the "tattletale" game. these people tend to forget what goes around comes around.

amen to that!!!!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I personally always preferred to work with men.Ive always got along better with them.

I'm just the opposite.

When I worked for an insurance company and a newspaper it was predominately male oriented and I hated it. Too much testerone irriates me for some reason.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

so sad really.

i am just so blessed to work in a predominantly female hospice organization who truly do care about each other. if one rn is having a busy day with her case load one of us is more than happy to pick up a patient.

we would not survive in our job if we did not have the love and support of each other.

i believe our organization works well and this extends from the top down.

our managers are so supportive. even our busy days we still manage to smile and 'egg' each other on.

it is no wonder we have people knocking our doors down for a job.

we have a monthly meeting where awards are given out to deserved members such as the attitude and gratitude award etc. we also have a 12 member team ( picked out at each monthly meeting ) to present some kind of fun, team building skit etc.

you, yourself, can make a change if you are prepared to.

change your attitude, be bright and supportive, i wonder how that would rub off eh?

from one happy contented rn.:icon_biggrin:

i have a friend that just started working for hospice. he says he feels like he's working for disney world the people are so happy. there goes the myth that chromosomes are the problem.

i think the key is the organization makes a financial committment to their employees through positive reinforcement, counseling, team building etc. most other environments are more about cutting costs, making nurses run short, and not caring about fixing toxic environments when human beings turn catty.

[West_Coast_Ken, BSN, RN]

How do you think we can change a situation by blaming an epidemic behavior on an X chromosome?

Recognizing an issue is the first step in dealing with it, that's how.

And for the record, I did not ever use the words "blaming", "epidemic behavior" or "X chromosome."

[PeachPie]

I believe that there is pettiness in both genders, but that they present themselves in different ways. Gaining favor in a work environment is a resource. I once read that males compete for power, while females compete for resources. I've seen it in chickens, I've read studies of chimpanzees exhibiting it, and I've seen it in humans all my life. It's no secret that males compete for power, and they will get power trips, wage internal wars, and play their perceived vassals like chess pieces. However, women are the weaker sex and cannot be so overt about their takeovers. Furthermore, a woman is seen as a *itch if she is direct about what she wants. Therefore, women are more discreet and less confrontational about things.

[meownsmile, BSN, RN]

Wow what a thread,,although i dont agree tha women are the "weaker sex",, males and females are brought up differently, to react differently. I dont believe that women are nonconfrontational. Usually its women who will get things done when there are discrepancies and problems surrounding family, work, banking whatever. The difference seems to be that women/girls tend to solve problems with words, men/boys are taught that its ok to solve problems physically. You can go to any gradeschool and see two boys fighting about something, when the fights over, usually the situation is resolved and its done. Give two girls the same siutation/confrontation and because they tend to use words,, it lingers on and on and on. I think this is just the social/behavioral conditioning we all have gone through for decades. The question is when do we as adults recognize it and acknowledge it and learn how to change it. It may change but not overnight, we just have to remember to keep our thoughts and our words separate sometimes. I tell my teenage girls all the time,, just because you think it doesnt mean it has to spill out when you open your mouth.

[Little Panda RN, ASN, RN]

I have worked with some men who loved to gossip and that has only been since I have been in the medical field. When I was in the military I worked in a male squadron with the exception of me and the commanders secretary. I never heard any gossip from the men who worked there.

It is my personal opinion that women love to gossip. I see and hear it all the time. One of my co-workers tried to talk about me behind my back and I came upon the conversation. I politely told her that if she has a problem with me she should let me know so that we may work it out, her mouth dropped open and she apologized. I do not like gossip, nor do I gossip, it is so high school.

Men and women alike are born with the gossip gene:lol2: . It is what you decide to do with it that counts!

[epiphany]

Recognizing an issue is the first step in dealing with it, that's how.

And for the record, I did not ever use the words "blaming", "epidemic behavior" or "X chromosome."

Do you want women who don't feel that it applies to them to admit to it? Does your version of a productive dialogue include "recognizing an issue" that you deem to be fact? You mention in your earlier post, even women agree with you. Well, I am a woman, and I don't agree with you. Yes, recognizing a fact is a good thing, but you don't get to decide what is fact.

Do you know the difference between "recognizing an issue" with a defeatist attitude towards women?