Why are nurses such back-stabbers?

[RNforLongTime]

Why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? Behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. Why are there some nurses who feel superior when they tell on someone to the manager? This recently happened to me and I thought I had a good rapport with my co-workers yet one of them ratted me out to the boss on an off-the-cuff remark that I made. Why does this happen? Is it because the majority of nurses are women and women are catty individuals. I'm a woman btw. From now on though, I am just going to do my work, and only talk to the other nurses/aides about clinically relevant stuff only. Other than that, I'll keep my nose in a book. Actually, I won't be working at this current place much longer. There are staffing issues that put my license in jeoprady so I am starting a job hunt after the holidays.

So, why do we do this to eachother?

[GardenDove]

I don't think you can automatically point the finger at management for workplace gossip. What do you want them to do, plant listening devices at the nurses station and send people to Siberia if they violate the Fuher's commands?

I think it's human nature, and sometimes is just chance. For instance, I worked on a Med-Surg wing where one of the unit secretaries was a immature b$%ch who was very good at Junior High mind games, and wielded an inordinate amount of social power over the nurses, many of whom were new at the profession. She and a CNA who had been there were really out of control, I thought.

Perhaps management can intervene, but it becomes very difficult, rather like refereeing your children.

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

I don't think you can automatically point the finger at management for workplace gossip. What do you want them to do, plant listening devices at the nurses station and send people to Siberia if they violate the Fuher's commands?

I think it's human nature, and sometimes is just chance. For instance, I worked on a Med-Surg wing where one of the unit secretaries was a immature b$%ch who was very good at Junior High mind games, and wielded an inordinate amount of social power over the nurses, many of whom were new at the profession. She and a CNA who had been there were really out of control, I thought.

Perhaps management can intervene, but it becomes very difficult, rather like refereeing your children.

Oh, I've worked a unit like that!! The US used to actually BRAG that "if I don't like someone, they won't be staying here." And what was scary was, she wasn't kidding. I saw her report every little thing that one new RN did until finally the RN quit--and really, I worked with that new grad and I can honestly say that she made no more mistakes than any other newbie.

But our manager heard only the US. IMO, our manager gave that US waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much power. So yeah, the manager should've intervened. Some of us complained, but of course, we were not heard.

When I get angry thinking about that, I remember that it's still very true that what goes around, comes around.

And I'm very glad that I moved on. There are some wonderful people out there, you just have to keep looking till you find them.

[RNforLongTime]

To answer some questions, the boss changed my schedule after it was already posted WITHOUT checking with me first to see if it was ok to do so, and had she asked I would've said yes. She scheduled me to work last Saturday after she had originally given me the day off because we were going to have our Christmas party that night but no one got things together in time. So, she revamped the schedule then and put me down to work. I had made family plans for that night since I wasn't planning on going to the party anyway. I was SO mad that she had done this . ABSOLUTELY furious! So, I said that maybe I would just call in sick, which I ended up being sick and called in for that night. I called in under the appropriate time guidelines, etc. So, someone told her that I had said that. I think I know who it was but I can't go pointing fingers.

As far as reading a book, I work straight night shift in a small ICU so on a rare occasion there is some rare down-time to read. Usually we sit and chit-chat. NO MORE! I'll keep my nose in a book--usually I have a nursing reference book that I read.

The OP is having some problems at work and she takes the actions of a few and generalizes them to an entire gender and a profession

Things like this have happened to me at other facilities where I've worked. In a typical converstion with co-workers, I made some statements about things management was doing that I didn't agree with and I end up being "tattled" on and called into the managers office about what I'd said. Not ever had I ever said or done anything that was unsafe or unethical, EVER! It's happened over and over and over again. I've been in this profession for FIFTEEN YEARS. Guess I need to learn to keep my mouth shut about what I perceive to be as injustices.

If we all banded together instead of beating each other down, think of all that we could acheive.

[jmckeith]

I don't think you can automatically point the finger at management for workplace gossip. What do you want them to do, plant listening devices at the nurses station and send people to Siberia if they violate the Fuher's commands?

I think it's human nature, and sometimes is just chance. For instance, I worked on a Med-Surg wing where one of the unit secretaries was a immature b$%ch who was very good at Junior High mind games, and wielded an inordinate amount of social power over the nurses, many of whom were new at the profession. She and a CNA who had been there were really out of control, I thought.

Perhaps management can intervene, but it becomes very difficult, rather like refereeing your children.

I think you misunderstood me. As you said gossip may be human nature, I'm not sure. I do not point the finger at all management. I have seen some work environments with very good management. What I am referring to is management that listens to and encourages the poison of gossip to proliferate.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

oh, i've worked a unit like that!! the us used to actually brag that "if i don't like someone, they won't be staying here." and what was scary was, she wasn't kidding. i saw her report every little thing that one new rn did until finally the rn quit--and really, i worked with that new grad and i can honestly say that she made no more mistakes than any other newbie.

but our manager heard only the us. imo, our manager gave that us waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much power. so yeah, the manager should've intervened. .

so that is an example of where weak management allowed the condition to continue rather than nipping it in the bud.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

I'm disheartened that one nurse rats on you, and I understand that's upsetting, but why judge a whole profession and gender? Is that fair?

No, it's not fair, and i'm quite tired of the uncalled for stereotyping that some people are just insisting on.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

I learned years ago that you elicit the responses you get.

I find it truly saddening and disappointing that nursing, predominately a female profession harbors such negative stereotypes against women. It truly amazes me how few of our members seem to actually LIKE nurses, or to like women. It is small wonder that many nurses are having negative experiences with their co-workers. It seems that few nrses really like their co-workers, their profession or their gender. How sad that someone would have a negative experience with a co-worker (which that person may or may not have contributed to with an "off the cuff remark") and then generalize against an entire gender and most of a profession!

Very well said.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

I agree 100% with Ruby Vee here as well as earlier comments made by Deb(Smiling Blue Eyes). This thread makes me sad. Very sad. The OP is having some problems at work and she takes the actions of a few and generalizes them to an entire gender and a profession and immediately receives a chorus of amens from dozens of people, presumably adults, mostly women. Thus you're propagating the very behavior you're condemning.

What's worse, the OP never gave us the details of what these "tattletales" told about. Perhaps her co-workers had genuine concerns about something she did and felt legally and/or morally obligated to take it to a higher authority versus merely having a pow-wow with her. I have found after 16+ years in this business that what is one person's no big deal is actually a life-threatening mistake to another person.

We've all had negative experiences with co-workers. This does not justify negatively labeling an entire profession or gender just as it would not be acceptable if she had asked why were "Asians" or "Blacks" or "Mormons" or "Southerners" or "short people" such backstabbers.

:yeahthat:

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

Well...for one, I never used words like backstabbing gossipy hags. Though I can certainly say that description fits a certain minority of RNs I have worked with.

Second, I never said ALL doctors are above-board and professional. I do see a qualitative trend about Doctor-Doctor interaction, though and maybe I occassionally see a few snidde comments that are RARELY but SOMETIMES made in public. I'm sure there are one or two docs who breakdown crying in public places, berate one another in front of patients and other fellow professionals, and basically treat work like a cheesy soap opera. Have yet to see that...

I am part of the solution. I distinguish between work collegues and friends. I keep to myself but am friendly when approached. I read professional journals and attend CE lectures although I am in school. I keep my emotions in check and don't wear them on my sleeve. I stay away from the gossiping classmates and set them straight when they are flat-out wrong. And I certainly don't cry and fight in public. Still waiting to see the med students do that! Though I'm sure there has had to be a public breakdown of teary male doctors somewhere, because, we don't want to generalize....

In all my years of corporate work I have never seen interpersonal relationships, for the lack of a better word, as crappy as what I have seen between female nurses. A generalization? You bet! Based on my experience, of course, but not factual - because it can't be proven according to the twisted logic on this board. Some days I come home from clinicals downright depressed about the negativity, nastiness, and tear-jerking theatrics I'm subjected to two days per week. Then I work my externship job (with amazing female preceptors I may add) and see that nurisng isn't all like that - you can insulate yourself from that BS if you wish. A lot of starts with someone's attitude.

You are not a part of the solution when you continue to stereotype.

[cookie102]

i also have seen sooooooooooo much backstabbing where i work , but how about when the boss is the orchestrator!!!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

i also have seen sooooooooooo much backstabbing where i work , but how about when the boss is the orchestrator!!!

Then it's not a gender problem is it?

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

This is now the second misquote from you regarding what I said.

I never, ever said this issue is "fact." This is my observation and my opinion and I know you don't like it nor do you agree with it and that is fine. But please do not put words into my posts.

I think it was another poster that mentioned something about "fact", not you. I'm sorry you've been misquoted and you're certainly entitled to your opinion.

I'm disappointed that as you've been around the block, only to start nursing school and be surrounded by such people and beginning the profession with such negativity and "drama" as you say. Fortunately that's not the experience of all of us, and hopefully as you've said in the real world the nurses you observe aren't like that.

My personal opinion is that such problems in nursing is not because nurses are predominantly female . Also, it's not fair to be mistreated by one or two nurses and them come screaming "why are nurses so catty, is it because they are female....let me tell you about this one nurse that stabbed me in the back, why are nurses such backstabbers."