Why are nurse managers jerks?

[Cola89]

Is nursing a field much like law enforcement, that attracts people who are rude, harsh and likely have personality disorders? Just wondering because, I'm not joking... the majority of my nurse managers and supervisors were long time nurses who seemed to be on some power-wielding trip. Like they had something to prove and that they were a nurse, an experienced nurse and because of that alone were somehow better than people who didn't fall into that category. As if being a 'charge nurse' or a 'nurse manager' made them great, even if they were insufferable to be around, even if they couldn't care less about patients or subordinates.

I have seen it go on many, many times. Nurse managers who ask of their staff what they wouldn't be willing to do a small fraction of. Charge nurses who gossip and make up stories about other nurses, simply because they don't fit into their 'clique'. Or mock patients if they know them in real life --- like had one who taunted a former classmate saying she had letters behind her name while he didn't.

Is the nursing 'profession' filled with jerks? Or arrogant fools? I have a few good, down to earth and likeable coworkers that I can count. But the ones in and kissing up to management always seem like arrogant jerks.

Why is this?

[Libby1987]

During my career, I have alternated clinical and management roles and working both *sides* made me more understanding and tolerant of the other. I really think clinical staff would benefit from shadowing and experiencing some of the responsibility of their managers, it provides clarity for the challenges that managers face and could reduce assumptions that are commonly made.

On the flip side, that a manager should have worked successfully in the clinical position is a given in my opinion. You cannot truly know what is doable and what is unreasonable if you haven't experienced it. Doesn't mean that they had to have knocked it out of the park but they should know what is and is not possible.

And on a whole other side, burnt out and/or ambivalent bedside nurses should not go into management positions. Managers should be nurses who loved their work in addition to possessing leadership skills. Not everyone would agree with that but as coaches should love the game, nurse managers should love (or like or whatever) the service that they manage.

[Wolf at the Door, BSN]

I find nurse managers to be pleasant roses.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Hmmmm what is the common denominator in all this trouble? That would be YOU.

Whenever I perceive "everyone" else being the problem, usually that problem is really ME.

Look hard at yourself. Like some have said above, some self-evaluation is in order. If you project a negative, "jerky", whiney or nasty attitude, it will all come back to you, a thousand fold, I guarantee you. Conversely, if you smile more, exude more positivity, and treat people well, things definitely turn around. I know this for a fact. I was that negative person, once. And I perceived everyone was "out to get me". I hated my job and life in general. I realized I was the one with the problem, not everyone else.

Once I changed my behaviors and attitude even the so-called "jerks" changed toward me.

You can't change anyone but yourself, so get busy.

[SmilingBluEyes]

PS---- Middle management is one of the most thankless jobs on the planet. Before you judge too harshly go ahead and try it. When you have walked the walk, then you can judge.

[Cola89]

SmilingBlu, I'm not ___ enough to work in middle management. Their harsh judgment of others and rude behavior is what I'm judging. Also, collecting a check while letting everyone around you down. No, not all of them of course, but enough of em that I'm starting to notice a pattern. I can take the 'check yourself' comments as constructive criticism / well-meaning advice. I've gone through a lot lately and I don't know how to keep positive and keep smiling. I am really starting to believe people are just mean and uncaring. I am not. I am nice and kind hearted. Quiet. I don't like hurting others. So, while I might have a negative air about me, even after self reflecting, I really don't categorize myself as a jerk.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

Umm, isnt this how most of corporate america is? Ive had other jobs in other settings, not health care at all. Middle management was the same, attracted the same type of "personality" you describe. If anything they were more arrogant and rude than some of the NM's I have had.

I think that's just how it is now.

And I'm sure some of them were the little peon before they got their mid/ mgmt job. That may be the reason why too.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

No.

The last thing I want is the MBA telling me to "work smarter, not harder" and leading seminars in "the captivity of negativity" etc etc. When they haven't been nurses, it's easy for them to go "Oh we have 24 beds! Easy, each nurse gets 8 patients and we can cut back. Also we can just have one tech and they can do vitals on all 24 patients. We're doing more with less!"

I

This is reality in some places

[Cowboyardee]

If you haven't worked many places yet, it is very possible that you just happen to be in a disfunctional environment. There are some employers where upper management takes a hostile attitude toward rank and file staff amd because of this tends to promote to middle management only those nurses who share their hostility. In these places, a nasty attitude from management perpetuates itself.

Not everywhere is like that.

That said, newbies would often have fewer conflicts with nursing management if they remember that the stakes in their job run higher than just their feelings and personal stress levels. Caring and competent nurse managers certainly know this and act accordingly.

[NotYourMamasRN]

Lots of nurses are jerks, they have a hard time admitting it when being called a jerk. Though if you read some of their posts on other boards, they will proudly proclaim their jerkiness. Some nurses in general have a God complex, many managers are beyond that complex.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I will preface my comment by mentioning that, yes, a decent number of my former nurse managers and supervisors have been buttholes with abrasive personalities.

Nonetheless, I will also argue that jerks are in every profession and occupation based on anecdotes and personal experience. I have met physicians, lawyers, teachers, receptionists, cashiers, smoothie-makers, engineers, machinists, stock clerks, retail managers, fast food supervisors, and professors who acted like jerks.

[Everline]

The nurse managers/supervisors I've had in my short career have been pretty decent, I must say. I have met a couple of real jerky charge nurses who liked to make other people feel like garbage (at least that is how it appeared by their behavior and words). Was not sure what that was all about, but since I've never been a charge nurse, I imagined it was an intolerable work load. I always complain about people who don't understand what a nurse does, who wonder why I might be stressed out since all I have to do is "give patients some pills and go home". So I don't want to be that person who criticizes a manager or supervisor without truly knowing what all goes into that position. That's not to say I'd want to put up with being mistreated. But I do want to give some leeway for what might be a hell of a difficult job if I had it. Nursing does something to people...and sometimes it is not good.

[RNrhythm, BSN, RN]

I am a second career RN and most of the managers in my old field were jerks except for my first one and my last one, who were both exemplary. I felt that the culture in those companies had a lot to do with it.

As a relatively new RN (less than 3 years) all of my managers have been pretty good. There was one who I could see was really pulled between corporate and bedside, and she made some questionable decisions in that context, but I honestly felt she was trying her best and well intentioned. My current managers are actually pretty awesome, which I think also has a lot to do with the culture at my current hospital.