Why are nurse managers jerks?

Cola89 · Feb 25, 2017

Is this the same manager you were complaining about last month? And the month before? I thought you were getting a new job?
And yes, if every manager you have had is a jerk, and every charge nurse or long time nurse you've worked with is backbiting and a gossip, I would say that you are the common denominator.

Why are you following what I'm doing so closely? Are you a crappy nm too? It doesn't matter if a nurse has a gazillion years of carefully strategized experience, s/he might not necessarily be a good manager. I'm surprised hospitals are still filling managerial positions with these nurses who couldn't care less about their subordinates, the patients, or nursing in general. They should hire MBAs, real business professionals and be done with it.

Cola89 · Feb 25, 2017

My current manager is awesome. She'll answer call bells, help toilet patients, help with bed baths, etc. She wears scrubs to work everyday so she can pitch in when needed. She has a candy jar with chocolate we can help ourselves to . She truly wants us to call her on weekends and the middle of the night if we need help and the higher ups are ignoring us.
My last manager was the exact opposite. It took us time to get used to the fact that our current manager really wants us to call her. Our old one would have been ticked at us bothering her and would have told us to deal with it. My old one was also petty and vindictive at times.
As for charge nurses- I certainly have ones I prefer and others that I tolerate because I have to.
So it's been a pretty even split of good and not so good managers/charges. I also had a career before nursing and I really didn't like my manager with that career. I definitely was thrown under the bus a couple of times with them. So bad/unpleasant managers aren't restricted to nursing- you'll get all types.

I wish my NM was like your current one. Almost all of the nurse managers I've had just wanted AWAY from bedside and refused to help pitch in whatsoever. Some have been more vocal about it than others

klone, MSN, RN · Feb 25, 2017

Why are you following what I'm doing so closely? Are you a crappy nm too?

Yep, you nailed it.

I have an eidetic memory for things in writing. As a result, I remember usernames. And yours stuck out at me. I just don't get the value of constantly complaining about something, and not CHANGING it.

Cola89 · Feb 25, 2017

Yep, you nailed it.
I have an eidetic memory for things in writing. As a result, I remember usernames. And yours stuck out at me. I just don't get the value of constantly complaining about something, and not CHANGING it.

Jobs aren't falling off trees around here. Hiring nurse managers seem to want consistent experience, so if I leave without a certain length of time put in at a position.... I'm sure I'll get crap for it (and have, I'm actively looking) Those are two reasons. I can't control how any other person acts including my manager / employer. I'm big on changing what I can --- and understand what I can't.

And it might sound like I'm just complaining, but I'm really also looking for support, encouragement, understanding, words of wisdom &/or insight... whatever useful information I can get

takem46 · Feb 25, 2017

I have a senior nurse who has been an LPN for 4 years. She thinks she knows everything and is diagnosing co-workers who are crazy enough to ask her what their s/s mean. She also talks down about other nurses to new nurses and current nurses. She did it when she was training me and I learned she talked about me really bad to a new nurse hire. She yells and does not think anyone should say anything back to her. She also gossips with subordinate CNAs about other staff. I want to put a recorder on her med cart and record her and send to the nursing board. She is actually diagnosing patients and staff who tells her their s/s. These patients and staff ask other nurses, including myself, "I have ------ going on. What do you think that is?" I reply, "Look/Sounds like something you should get your doctor to look at". I make it a teaching moment and let them know that I am not a doctor and will not tell them they have a certain condition based on the info they give me. That is what doctors are for. They actually hold the nurse to whatever she says. Patients have stated, "The other nurse told me I have ---- and I need ----- medication. What do you think?". Should I tell the director?

Cola89 · Feb 25, 2017

I have a senior nurse who has been an LPN for 4 years. She thinks she knows everything and is diagnosing co-workers who are crazy enough to ask her what their s/s mean. She also talks down about other nurses to new nurses and current nurses. She did it when she was training me and I learned she talked about me really bad to a new nurse hire. She yells and does not think anyone should say anything back to her. She also gossips with subordinate CNAs about other staff. I want to put a recorder on her med cart and record her and send to the nursing board. She is actually diagnosing patients and staff who tells her their s/s. These patients and staff ask other nurses, including myself, "I have ------ going on. What do you think that is?" I reply, "Look/Sounds like something you should get your doctor to look at". I make it a teaching moment and let them know that I am not a doctor and will not tell them they have a certain condition based on the info they give me. That is what doctors are for. They actually hold the nurse to whatever she says. Patients have stated, "The other nurse told me I have ---- and I need ----- medication. What do you think?". Should I tell the director?

I mean, I would mention that, but I might not give the best career advice.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Feb 25, 2017

Sorry, haven't had your experience. I actually haven't had a bad nurse manager, much less one who was a "jerk." I had one I wasn't totally crazy about, but for the most part, they have been fair, good managers. It's not an easy position; it's hard to please both their employees as well as their superiors. I wouldn't want that job.

klone, MSN, RN · Feb 25, 2017

It's not an easy position; it's hard to please both their employees as well as their superiors. I wouldn't want that job.

Yep, you're truly getting it from both sides.

TriciaJ, RN · Feb 25, 2017

Why are you following what I'm doing so closely? Are you a crappy nm too? It doesn't matter if a nurse has a gazillion years of carefully strategized experience, s/he might not necessarily be a good manager. I'm surprised hospitals are still filling managerial positions with these nurses who couldn't care less about their subordinates, the patients, or nursing in general. They should hire MBAs, real business professionals and be done with it.

MBAs? Really? Yeah, I really want a manager who has never wiped a butt that wasn't her own.

luvsltcrn · Feb 25, 2017

Being in a middle management nurse manager position is one of the toughest positions there is as a nurse. Try spending a week in their shoes before you judge them so harshly. I'm sure there are "jerks" in every position in every career but not all nurse managers are "jerks"! Most of them try to do the best they can with what they are permitted to do.

chacha82, ADN, BSN · Feb 25, 2017

They should hire MBAs, real business professionals and be done with it.

No.

The last thing I want is the MBA telling me to "work smarter, not harder" and leading seminars in "the captivity of negativity" etc etc. When they haven't been nurses, it's easy for them to go "Oh we have 24 beds! Easy, each nurse gets 8 patients and we can cut back. Also we can just have one tech and they can do vitals on all 24 patients. We're doing more with less!"

:eek:

I will always be grateful to my former manager, she hired me for my first nursing job out of school. I also like my manager now. People are complex...try to look for the good in them. Try to make peace with the situation. If you like your job, your coworkers, your specialty, etc etc, do you really have to be best friends with your manager? No, just be respectful, and try to focus on the good stuff.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Feb 25, 2017

Is nursing a field much like law enforcement, that attracts people who are rude, harsh and likely have personality disorders? Just wondering because, I'm not joking... the majority of my nurse managers and supervisors were long time nurses who seemed to be on some power-wielding trip. Like they had something to prove and that they were a nurse, an experienced nurse and because of that alone were somehow better than people who didn't fall into that category. As if being a 'charge nurse' or a 'nurse manager' made them great, even if they were insufferable to be around, even if they couldn't care less about patients or subordinates.
I have seen it go on many, many times. Nurse managers who ask of their staff what they wouldn't be willing to do a small fraction of. Charge nurses who gossip and make up stories about other nurses, simply because they don't fit into their 'clique'. Or mock patients if they know them in real life --- like had one who taunted a former classmate saying she had letters behind her name while he didn't.
Is the nursing 'profession' filled with jerks? Or arrogant fools? I have a few good, down to earth and likeable coworkers that I can count. But the ones in and kissing up to management always seem like arrogant jerks.
Why is this?

If you meet a guy on the way to work, and he's a jerk, then you've met a jerk.

If everyone you meet is a jerk, then YOU are the jerk.