When a pt "gets" to you

lavenderskies, BSN · Feb 22, 2016

Sorry this happen to you.

flying_ace2 · Feb 22, 2016

Never had that happen with a patient, but sometimes something will make me think of my dad, or remind me of him, and it catches me completely off guard. I'm so sorry this happened to you...

Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN · Feb 23, 2016

I have no words for you. I'm so, so very sorry. I can't imagine your pain, and no, I don't think it's strange that this happened. Sometimes a person's choice of words just strike a nerve. Grief is a funny beast.

Farawyn · Feb 23, 2016

OP, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mom.

Also, yes. Once a dying 19 year old yelled at me for forgetting his colace and I cried for almost a 1/2 hour- and I was not a newbie, had to be at least 12 years in at the time.

Some days are just harder than others.

Jensmom7, BSN, RN · Feb 23, 2016

My first death visit for Hospice happened on the one year anniversary of my mom's death.

The patient was a sweet LOL with severe respiratory/cardiac issues who just wanted to die at home, surrounded by friends and family, who were all as wonderful as she was.

I held it together until I got two blocks away, then had to pull over to cry.

Hollybobs · Feb 23, 2016

That sounds very tough. I think sometimes we are are bit vulnerable on shift as our emotions are pulled in different directions so something can slip under our guard and hit home harder than normal. What you describe hasn't happened to me but I can see how that would hurt and I feel for you.

mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN · Feb 23, 2016

It is just so frustrating that they don't see what you have been doing for their family member when they AREN'T there and you think it is all right to step away for a while because they are there to visit or tend to them a little. I sat at the nurse's station almost my whole shift, when I wasn't passing meds or doing other tasks so I could watch her and another one that I was concerned about. I don't think I ate lunch until about 1430 THEN I was asked to stay an extra 4 hours b/c they were short staffed for a total of a 16 hour shift.

NuGuyNurse2b · Feb 23, 2016

In this scenario, OP I think you should have told them your personal story. Knock the wind out of her sail, so to speak, without crossing the line.

Farawyn · Feb 23, 2016

In this scenario, OP I think you should have told them your personal story. Knock the wind out of her sail, so to speak, without crossing the line.

Ugh, no.

I think OP handled it fine.

Rocknurse, MSN, APRN, NP · Feb 23, 2016

If it helps, the family in question are probably experiencing a similar pain. Everyone handles it differently and the stress is obviously getting to them. When people are under intense duress they often lash out. This was nothing to do with you. It could have been anybody. I'm sure he feels terrible about it. Humans are flawed and no one prepares you for loss. It's something we all have to learn how to deal with and it's not an easy thing. I'm sorry for your loss. You did a fine job and you're doing your best.

ProgressiveActivist, BSN, RN · Feb 23, 2016

"If she were my Mother I would understand that her nurse has five other patients who are just as sick and that she is doing the best that she can."

Sometimes you have to keep it real.

If you spend an excessive amount of time with a patient they will expect constant attention and impose on you for trivial matters. Be respectful but do not socialize. Work efficiently so that they have realistic expectations of your ability to spend time with them. This is self preservation and teaching people how to treat you.