What to do about someone squishing your dreams.

SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN · Jun 26, 2006

Part of your problem, aside from your Mental Illness (though it may be a factor), is that you care too much about what others think. You may not convince people it is a good thing for you to become a Nurse if they disagree.

If you want to become a Nurse, then go become a Nurse. But stop worrying about what other people think and stop arguing with them! Even if they do agree with you, that still will not make you a Nurse.

Others are not going to stay up all night studying for you, attending classes for you, turning in assignments for you, taking exams for you, paying your bills, or doing anything else to help you achieve your dreams. Everything needed to become a Nurse will be accomplished by you alone.

As for your Mental Illness, I am not able to say if that will hinder you or not. A good way to find out is to contact the BON in your State or the State you plan to apply for a license.

Race Mom, ASN, RN · Jun 26, 2006

The best thing about this decision is that it is YOURS. This is your life and you can chose whatever career you want!

I know that a lot of the stress in nursing comes from the nursing shortage, so why do nurses try to steer prospective nurses away? They are knowledgable 1st hand and are only trying to save you from the hardships they are experiencing. That's kind of them, but what we really need are MORE nurses to relieve the stress of the shortage! They should be trying to recruit as many people as possible! Not to mention, not everyone is afraid of hard work.

Best of luck to you and your future career in nursing. Do some investigating with the stumbling blocks that may lay ahead for you, be prepared...then go for it!

KungFuFtr · Jun 26, 2006

They have only squished your dreams, if they succeed in detering you from your goal. The nurse who said nursing school is too stressfull is giving you her opinion about what stresses HER and this only reflects HER own limiting beliefs. You might come up with a challenge here or there, but think about how these challenges sculpt your own character and destiny.

stpauligirl · Jun 26, 2006

Hi Everyone!
I have been lurking and occasionally posting over the past few months and have found this web site to be one of the better ones for someone intrested in the medical field to come to.
Anyway here's my situation
I have a really good friend, lets call her Ms. X, who lives in Houston and is a nurse. I came to her about a year ago with my plans to become a Nurse since I only have a few of the prerequisites left to complete before applying for admission to an ADN program. She not only tried to get me to go to another part of the medical field altogether (Radiology Tech) she said the ADN is not a good way to go. She says it's to stressful to be a Nurse and that I need to consider another line of work.
Well, unless she wants to pay for the gas and oil changes of the commute to Arlington and back four days a week I think the ADN at the local Community College is a good way to go. That way after I have a few years under my belt I can go to a RN to BSN program, and then move on to a MSN a few years after that.
It does not help matters any that I was diagnosed three years ago as Schitzoeffective Depressive type and the whole hassle I'm going to have to go through just to get into Nursing school with my mental illness and the Texas BNE just makes me wonder if it is worth all the trouble. I've known for a long time that I've wanted to do something in the medical field, and with the hassle that you have to go through becoming a Doctor (MD/DO/DPM) instantly ruled that out. I need to be in contact with people to make me feel better about myself and not buried away from everyone with the X-Ray machine and the Radiologist if I were a Radiology Tech.
How would you broach the subject of becoming a Nurse with a good friend, or parent, who is trying to steer you clear of becoming a Nurse? I've tried arguing with them and that has got me nowhere except getting my blood pressure up. They generally play the mental health card, and I fold faster than The Flash on laundry day.
I would like them to list 10 reasons why I should not be a Nurse and then I would like to list my 10 reasons why I should be a Nurse.
Mr. Beef

You should be a nurse because you want to be a nurse, it's that simple. You don't need 10 reasons. Stop arguing and don't discuss your career plans with people who are negative and unsupportive any longer. Who knows why your nurse friend has a hard time in the profession. Sure, no doubt nursing will be a challenging profession...but you will be able to manage the demands.

It's your life and you need to persue whatever makes YOU happy!

Good luck and stick with your plan You've got friends right here.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 26, 2006

No one can squish your dreams unless you give them the power to. End of discussion.

Don't even bother asking them for 10 reasons why you shouldn't be a nurse. If you want to be a nurse what do you care about someone elses reasons why you shouldn't be?

I think you might be confusing "you have to be in contact with people to feel better about yourself" with giving them the power over how you feel about yourself. I tend to get depressed if I isolate too much, so I have to be around people to an extent to. But those people do not determine how I feel about myself. That comes from within.

I'm an ADN RN and I'm proud of it. It's a great way to become an RN. I'm now in an RN to BSN program and doing well with that.

Good luck to you.

KellieNurse06 · Jun 26, 2006

I have come to the conclusion as I have gotten older...some people are jealous when another is succeeding in life or bettering their life....it's like they don't want others to succeed because they are so miserable with their own boring life that is stuck in a rut...........I say do whatever you want..you only have one life.......

I have heard the whole bunch of "why not" to be a nurse from alot of people.....because I have a child with severe medical problems..and I always got the "why would you want to do that for a job when you have to take care of a child with medical problems" speech.......after a while it sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown.........I just let it go in one ear & out the other....now that I am near graduation...everyone tells me how proud they are of me & that they are happy ..where as before it was a whole different story........................Don't let anyone rain on your parade....it's your life!!!! Good Luck..you will make an outstanding nurse! :balloons:

Mr. Beef · Jun 26, 2006

Part of your problem, aside from your Mental Illness (though it may be a factor), is that you care too much about what others think. You may not convince people it is a good thing for you to become a Nurse if they disagree.

The mental illness is a factor because they say that you have to be of sound mind and body to do the job according to the Texas BNE. I have been symptom free for about six months now and am trying to get counciling on a normal schedule again since I am between Spring and Fall semesters right now.

As for the whole caring about what people think because first impressions are key. I had issues in other jobs in the past because I had tremors from the medication I was taking for my Mental Illness. I'd hate for the patients to think I'm nervous taking care of them for some reason.

Thanks for the help I think I'm on the right track now.

Mr. Beef

Mr. Beef · Jun 26, 2006

The best thing about this decision is that it is YOURS. This is your life and you can chose whatever career you want!

I've made some pretty bad decisions in the past and I am wondering if I am making the right one right now. My main concern is the whole admissions thing. I was thinking of maybe doing an LVN course since they are slightly less competitive than an ADN and then going for a LVN to RN somewhere down the line. Not to many schools offer LVN to RN around me so I'm probably better off going straight RN.

I know that a lot of the stress in nursing comes from the nursing shortage, so why do nurses try to steer prospective nurses away?

I have no idea why they would want to steer prospective students away considering the shortage. I guess they mean well.

They are knowledgable 1st hand and are only trying to save you from the hardships they are experiencing. That's kind of them, but what we really need are MORE nurses to relieve the stress of the shortage! They should be trying to recruit as many people as possible! Not to mention, not everyone is afraid of hard work.

I'm not afraid of hard work. I'm just afraid of screwing up.

Thanks for the help

Mr. Beef

rbytsdy · Jun 27, 2006

My mother is an RN and she always directed me away from any thoughts of going into nursing. She flat out told me that she didn't think I would make a good nurse. However, she claims that she discouraged me due to the crazy situations with HMOs 15 years ago which was a stress and strain for nurses to deal with.

Well, I didn't become a nurse when I was entering college 13 years ago. I got a BS in science and now I am planning to go back. I told my mom about a very specific interest I had in nursing (which is to be a lactation consultant). Considering all the time and effort I put into nursing my baby, she has no more arguments. It's hard for someone to argue when you have a definite interest. Nursing is so broad that they are many things you can do. People can hardly argue with that. :)

It's definitely your decision and you should follow whatever you feel your calling is.

caligirl2 · Jun 27, 2006

RBY:

Very good point.....there are so many options as a nurse. Great Advice!

Thanks

sddlnscp · Jun 27, 2006

Don't give up on your dreams and don't let somebody else steer you away from them either, you will regret it. My mother-in-law HATES the fact that I am in nursing school. She cannot understand why I would give up my perfectly ok, decent paying, very cushy job to become a nurse. Well, I am doing all that because even with all the perks of my job, it depresses me and I want to do something that I have passion about, which is nursing. I have wanted to do this all my life and no matter what obstacles I have to overcome, I will. The way I deal with it is I simply don't discuss it with her. Now, she is my MIL and I love her very much (we are very close), so it's not that I ignore her or avoid her, but I simply don't bring up the schooling. If she brings it up, I change the subject. There is no sense arguing because I'm not going to change how I feel and she's not going to change how she feels, so neither one of us are going to convince the other to feel the way we do. It would end up being a pointless argument that left both of us very frustrated and possibly even feeling hurt.

There are grouchy people in every profession and people who do not want the job they have. They tend to look at the negative aspects of the job and not enjoy their work. My current job is a prime example of it, I know people who would absolutely adore my job and can't wait until I no longer need it to pay my bills and yet I am burned out on it and can't wait to get out. It happens. The trick to being satisfied is to follow your heart and your dreams and not let others push you along. I wish you all the luck in the world and am glad you are pursuing your dream! :)