What you'd REALLY like to say....

Nursing Students CNA/MA

Published

Ok, so I know I can't be the only one who dreams about just for ONCE saying what's really going through her mind! I love my job, and I do it for the love of my residents, and I always give 100% to make sure they are safe, happy, and cared for. However, I am also extremely sarcastic by nature - and sometimes, well lots of times, I think one thing - but of course say and act completely polite and professional!

Let's see what we all are really thinking in those times of complete stress and chaos we all know too well! I'll start....

To the A&Ax3 perfectly coherent pt who is mean and obnoxious and thinks that he is at the Ritz not a nursing home, and thinks every CNA is his personal assistant / slave::angryfire

DO NOT under any circumstances hit your call light for me to come and pick up your breakfast/lunch/dinner tray - the NANOsecond you finish eating!!!! REALLY! You KNOW that at some point during the 20 other times you call me in there, that I will pick it up on my way out!!!! This drives me absolutely up the wall. Same goes for your urinal (with all 5 cc's of output)!

Stop calling the poor confused residents filthy names. Just because you choose to sit in the hallway all day long doesn't make you the hall monitor! Just because they aimlessly walk or wheel around doesn't mean they are stupid. They are confused. Telling them to get the hell away from you and go back to where "they belong" is nasty and uncalled for. I sometimes secretly hope you will become exactly like them. Soon.

When you ask for an appointment at the barbershop at 8:50 am and they don't open until 9 am, don't hit your call button at 8:55 and ask if I got you a 9 am appointment! I know this may come as a shock to you - but you are not the center of the universe!! You will probably get scheduled sometime later that day, or - GASP - maybe even the next day!

To those wonderful family members we all love so much:

Just because you have an internet connection and access to WebMD, doesn't make you a medical professional. Why the Docs and DON's entertain your completely idiotic and unfounded requests - I will never know. Do you know how hard it is to keep residents properly hydrated? Yet you insist your loved one is over hydrated, and insist he only have one glass of water at every meal. AND you come in during meals and pull a bottle of sea salt out of your purse and dump handfuls onto his food. Hmmmm. OK! :banghead:

You haven't been to visit grandma in over a year. Grandma is completely contracted, hoyer lift, check and change, with aphasia. When you come and tell me that she told you she has to go to the bathroom and you want me to "take her to the restroom", I am not sure whether I want to giggle or slap you. :uhoh3:

...

Keep em coming! Just some healthy venting! Thanks a ton!

Stop digging into your brief and smearing that sh!t all over the bed and into your hair. If you are going to do that, please wait until AFTER 3:15. K, thanks.:lol2: :smokin: :mad: :rolleyes: :clown:

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Specializes in geriatrics, dementia, ortho.

How frickin' hard is it it clean someone's hand and stick a (CLEAN) rolled up washcloth in it to prevent contractures? I mean, really. I should not be finding a week's worth of crap between all someone's fingers because no one took the time to clean their hand properly in ages. So so so nasty. Come on! And if you'd put a washcloth or hand roll in there, it won't be as hard to get that hand clean next time. ARGH!:smackingf:mad:

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Specializes in long term care, alzheimer's, ltc rehab.
how frickin' hard is it it clean someone's hand and stick a (clean) rolled up washcloth in it to prevent contractures? i mean, really. i should not be finding a week's worth of crap between all someone's fingers because no one took the time to clean their hand properly in ages. so so so nasty. come on! and if you'd put a washcloth or hand roll in there, it won't be as hard to get that hand clean next time. argh!:smackingf:mad:

i know right?

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Specializes in long term care, alzheimer's, ltc rehab.

here's another one:

to 2nd shift: you told me this woman was changed right before we (3rd) clocked in. so please explain to me how in the blue hell she's soaked from her ears to her ankles. she could practically swim to the next bed for cripes sake!

(i would have said this to their face, but at our facility some people get ghost whether the replacement is there or not...another thing that irritates the crap out of me.)

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Specializes in LTC.

^Some people just hold it all day or night no matter how many times you put them on the toilet, and then pee a flood at the last minute. We have 2 of those and they always pee right after 3rd shift leaves in the morning. By the time I'm done with the first, the next one is soaked head to toe.

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I've even checked the front of a lady's brief (dry), rolled her over to check the back (dry), and by the time I rolled her back over she was soaked through and had urine flowing out the sides. It can happen in a heartbeat.

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Specializes in Med-Surg/urology.

And sometimes they are really combative & won't let you change them. A couple of weekends ago, I was working 2nd shift on a floor that I haven't been to before. I tried to change a resident, but he was hitting me & yelling. The other aides & the nurse said to leave him alone..what can you do if they won't allow care? They have the right to refuse,after all.

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Specializes in long term care, alzheimer's, ltc rehab.

i understand about that. i've had a few residents that did that too. i guess i should clarify...

this particular aide has a habit of telling us that she changed everybody and they're fine, but when you go down the hallway you find some residents' beds with brown rings on the sheets. when we see her, we say to ourselves "well, crud, better roll up your sleeves now, cause it's damage control time!"

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Please don't look down my shirt/scrub when I'm bending over to wipe your peri area you pervert.

Well, if it's there..........

Sorry, just had to say that. I honestly don't think some people can help themselves, but it is still creepy:eek:

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To the lady in the diningroom who starts hollaring to go to her bed the moment she swallows her last bite of food. Shut up, be patient, some people arent done eating yet and now that you decided to be annoying we will put u in last. Thx

To the 2 guys in room 16, I will hide your call lights during meal times. Again we arent done feeding and u already went to the bathroom 5 x in 4 hrs. All so its funny u have full range of motion yet cant maneuver a urinal.

Lady at the end of the hall, when u put on your call light then 2 seconds later put on the emergency light and the 2 sec later sit in your doorway and scream i need to pee, I still cant get u in 1 sec. Our transporter beam is broke, dont worry i put in in a work order to have it fixed

To the guy who everyday disimpacts himself, ur gross.....just because u OD'D on acid its not an excuse to put your fist in your butt.

To 1 certain aide, look u only been here 2 yrs and just because u are older than the rest of the aides it doesnt make u sr aide, so stop ordering me around. U maybe faster than me but only cause u arent doing your job, powder and body spray doesnt equel clean. Nobody else is sitting around at the nurses station at 9am on a 4man assignment except u, guess what we arent stupid. and i dont have to do what u say, only what the nurses say, so f off!

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Specializes in LTC.
to the lady in the diningroom who starts hollaring to go to her bed the moment she swallows her last bite of food. shut up, be patient, some people arent done eating yet and now that you decided to be annoying we will put u in last. thx

to the 2 guys in room 16, i will hide your call lights during meal times. again we arent done feeding and u already went to the bathroom 5 x in 4 hrs. all so its funny u have full range of motion yet cant maneuver a urinal.

lady at the end of the hall, when u put on your call light then 2 seconds later put on the emergency light and the 2 sec later sit in your doorway and scream i need to pee, i still cant get u in 1 sec. our transporter beam is broke, dont worry i put in in a work order to have it fixed

to the guy who everyday disimpacts himself, ur gross.....just because u od'd on acid its not an excuse to put your fist in your butt.

to 1 certain aide, look u only been here 2 yrs and just because u are older than the rest of the aides it doesnt make u sr aide, so stop ordering me around. u maybe faster than me but only cause u arent doing your job, powder and body spray doesnt equel clean. nobody else is sitting around at the nurses station at 9am on a 4man assignment except u, guess what we arent stupid. and i dont have to do what u say, only what the nurses say, so f off!

an aide told me he was quicker than me, and that i should take 30 minutes getting everyone up! im sorry but i wash my residents up, and do good care. so yes that makes me slow, but i like to take my time getting them all up. as long as i'am in the dining room "on time" helping the other aides serve breakfast he can go jump in the lake!

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To the lady in the diningroom who starts hollaring to go to her bed the moment she swallows her last bite of food. Shut up, be patient, some people arent done eating yet and now that you decided to be annoying we will put u in last. Thx

Word! :smokin: :lol2:

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