What you'd REALLY like to say....

[ICor9:24]

Ok, so I know I can't be the only one who dreams about just for ONCE saying what's really going through her mind! I love my job, and I do it for the love of my residents, and I always give 100% to make sure they are safe, happy, and cared for. However, I am also extremely sarcastic by nature - and sometimes, well lots of times, I think one thing - but of course say and act completely polite and professional!

Let's see what we all are really thinking in those times of complete stress and chaos we all know too well! I'll start....

To the A&Ax3 perfectly coherent pt who is mean and obnoxious and thinks that he is at the Ritz not a nursing home, and thinks every CNA is his personal assistant / slave::angryfire

DO NOT under any circumstances hit your call light for me to come and pick up your breakfast/lunch/dinner tray - the NANOsecond you finish eating!!!! REALLY! You KNOW that at some point during the 20 other times you call me in there, that I will pick it up on my way out!!!! This drives me absolutely up the wall. Same goes for your urinal (with all 5 cc's of output)!

Stop calling the poor confused residents filthy names. Just because you choose to sit in the hallway all day long doesn't make you the hall monitor! Just because they aimlessly walk or wheel around doesn't mean they are stupid. They are confused. Telling them to get the hell away from you and go back to where "they belong" is nasty and uncalled for. I sometimes secretly hope you will become exactly like them. Soon.

When you ask for an appointment at the barbershop at 8:50 am and they don't open until 9 am, don't hit your call button at 8:55 and ask if I got you a 9 am appointment! I know this may come as a shock to you - but you are not the center of the universe!! You will probably get scheduled sometime later that day, or - GASP - maybe even the next day!

To those wonderful family members we all love so much:

Just because you have an internet connection and access to WebMD, doesn't make you a medical professional. Why the Docs and DON's entertain your completely idiotic and unfounded requests - I will never know. Do you know how hard it is to keep residents properly hydrated? Yet you insist your loved one is over hydrated, and insist he only have one glass of water at every meal. AND you come in during meals and pull a bottle of sea salt out of your purse and dump handfuls onto his food. Hmmmm. OK!

You haven't been to visit grandma in over a year. Grandma is completely contracted, hoyer lift, check and change, with aphasia. When you come and tell me that she told you she has to go to the bathroom and you want me to "take her to the restroom", I am not sure whether I want to giggle or slap you.

...

Keep em coming! Just some healthy venting! Thanks a ton!

[bnb0627]

To the man who came into the ER after drinking a gallon of Bacardi: Please stop asking me if I can take your wrist restraints off! You may feel that you are of no harm to yourself but the fact that you ripped the hand sanitizer dispenser off the wall and drank the Purell may have your doctors feeling differently.

To the lovely confused lady: your painting on the floor was lovely but next time please use paint instead of poo!

[Poi Dog]

stop touching other resident's. i am so sick of you molesting/assaulting residents. i will continue to file event reports and keep copies of them because your behavior is disgusting. you have no boundaries and wheel yourself around as if you own the joint.

yell all you want at me. i will continue to be professional, report you, and wheel your happy a$$ away from people who cannot protect themselves. i will protect them from you since others have turned a blind eye. you disgust me. why you are still there in spite of numerous complaints and filings against you dumbfounds me.

to the nurse who told me to get back to work because i stepped between the above mentioned resident and another one, you know darn well what is written in the care plan. you are an idiot. i have no regrets about telling you that i was working at protecting a resident from a "known" assaulting one. documentation is my new bff!

do. not. mess. with. mama. bear.

[kelsey.kristine, CNA]

To room 22.....

Unless you TELL me what you want after you ring the nurse call....I DON'T KNOW. And letting me stand there and just staring at me? NOT DOING ANYTHING.

And to the new grad nurses who are orienting.....seriously. It's a call light. Answer it. NOT THAT HARD. And just because a pt has to pee doesn't mean it's MY job. It's CNA. I don't see the word "slave" in there anywhere, so stop treating me like one!

[Dorali, BSN, LPN, RN]

To the woman that is cussing me out every morning because I have to get her up: Yes, I understand you are still sleepy, but every day I try to let you sleep in as much as possible and get you up last. Taking a swing at me is not going to do you any good. In fact, if you actually land it, you might hit the floor and you can go to the hospital where you can stay in bed all the time with your broken hip. Yes, I know it's warm under the blankets. I did not like getting out of my warm bed 3 hours ago either, but I did turn the heat on for you before I woke you up. I'm sorry, what did you say? Oh, you do want to get up because you have to pee now? Well, why didn't you just get up when I told you that the first thing we were gonna do was go to the bathroom.

And yes you can hear me. I know this because you grinned real big at me a few months ago when I asked if you had selective hearing. I'm not playing this game with you anymore.

[y&rfan84]

To the CNA who wheels my resident up to me, and saids "he smells, and needs to be changed".

Well, if he "smells" why dont you be a nice team player, and change him for me. I've got other people to change and a million other things to do. Do you think you could f*cking do that for me? I answer your call lights and toilet your people when you're not around or busy. Why dont you help ME for once! It sure would be nice if ya could!

[yousoldtheworld]

To so many people - management, nurses, other aides, residents....I'd simply just like to be able to say "NO."

That's it, just no.

[vampcna]

To the lazy lvn who's been charting for three

hours while I've been sweating my butt off. If

you see a call light, here's an idea ANSWER IT

Otherwise wait until I can get to it. Mr. So n so

can wait five minutes to complain about all the

lights being on in the hallway.

[Poi Dog]

Why don't you just own up to the fact that you did not relay pertinent patient information?

[GHGoonette, BSN, RN]

Ooops, wrong thread

[Poi Dog]

Whose butt did you kiss to get you where you are now?

[Mikey31079]

what i actually did say this morning to someone who has been tormenting me since i started:

this....woman...thinks it's okay to constantly accuse me of leaving my residents in a mess every. single. time. she comes in for her shift because she thinks she's miss perfect.

before she can get the first sentence out i stopped her with this: "oh hell no! you do not get to do this to me anymore. i am not in the mood and i refuse to put up with your crap anymore!" (yes, i was holding back because the nurse was right there lol.)

trust and believe, i felt great afterwards!

[mermcm83]

Ba ha aha ahhaaa! you guys are hilarious...Im gonna pass out! So true about everything. I love my job, my residents, but sometimes I have to hide in the pantry and get a grip before I throw a urinal full to capacity down the hall and run out.....