Ok, so I know I can't be the only one who dreams about just for ONCE saying what's really going through her mind! I love my job, and I do it for the love of my residents, and I always give 100% to make sure they are safe, happy, and cared for. However, I am also extremely sarcastic by nature - and sometimes, well lots of times, I think one thing - but of course say and act completely polite and professional!
Let's see what we all are really thinking in those times of complete stress and chaos we all know too well! I'll start....
To the A&Ax3 perfectly coherent pt who is mean and obnoxious and thinks that he is at the Ritz not a nursing home, and thinks every CNA is his personal assistant / slave::angryfire
DO NOT under any circumstances hit your call light for me to come and pick up your breakfast/lunch/dinner tray - the NANOsecond you finish eating!!!! REALLY! You KNOW that at some point during the 20 other times you call me in there, that I will pick it up on my way out!!!! This drives me absolutely up the wall. Same goes for your urinal (with all 5 cc's of output)!
Stop calling the poor confused residents filthy names. Just because you choose to sit in the hallway all day long doesn't make you the hall monitor! Just because they aimlessly walk or wheel around doesn't mean they are stupid. They are confused. Telling them to get the hell away from you and go back to where "they belong" is nasty and uncalled for. I sometimes secretly hope you will become exactly like them. Soon.
When you ask for an appointment at the barbershop at 8:50 am and they don't open until 9 am, don't hit your call button at 8:55 and ask if I got you a 9 am appointment! I know this may come as a shock to you - but you are not the center of the universe!! You will probably get scheduled sometime later that day, or - GASP - maybe even the next day!
To those wonderful family members we all love so much:
Just because you have an internet connection and access to WebMD, doesn't make you a medical professional. Why the Docs and DON's entertain your completely idiotic and unfounded requests - I will never know. Do you know how hard it is to keep residents properly hydrated? Yet you insist your loved one is over hydrated, and insist he only have one glass of water at every meal. AND you come in during meals and pull a bottle of sea salt out of your purse and dump handfuls onto his food. Hmmmm. OK!
You haven't been to visit grandma in over a year. Grandma is completely contracted, hoyer lift, check and change, with aphasia. When you come and tell me that she told you she has to go to the bathroom and you want me to "take her to the restroom", I am not sure whether I want to giggle or slap you.
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Keep em coming! Just some healthy venting! Thanks a ton!
To the male resident on my hall...MY NAME IS NOT HONEY!!! I don't like being called honey, please ask me what my name is. And get over your little drama with the nurse just because she had to leave during your shift. You know how riduclous you look going over the entire home loooking for someone to do your blood sugar?
To my boss: You need to add more help, especially down my hall. There's 22 full rooms and 1 of me and its so easy for me to get behind my work and not pass ice to the rest of the facility. Also, you should really watch who put down my hall, some of these people do not belong in assisted living.
To the people who edited my get up list- take the stand up lift person off my list, it takes forever to do her!
To residents (some, not all): YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF. Please stop trying to monopolize all of my time with your petty cra*!!!!
To management: We would really like to follow the infection control standards, we really would! Please tell us how to do this when we are denied all the tools in which to do so!!!!
To aides who feel its OK to vent about coworkers to certain residents, or actively attempt to sow discontent among residents towards aides they want fired. Be aware of the laws of unintended consequences.
It costs money to hire and orient people, so when one or two aides continually undermine new employees to the point they quit or get fired, eventually management may just determine that it would be a lot cheaper to get rid of the aides who've been causing all this discontent. No one is irreplacable.
To aides who feel its OK to vent about coworkers to certain residents, or actively attempt to sow discontent among residents towards aides they want fired. Be aware of the laws of unintended consequences.
I hate to say it and it's going to sound bad but I sort of do this, not to the ones who know but to the ones who aren't really all there, the ones who can't remember and the ones who can't hear. I don't say anything bad like so and so did this, just that I'm frustrated and I'm tired and stressed out. I like to talk about my day with them and stuff. I don't have to worry about them complaining or making unbelievable demands or gossiping.
Every week I have a new kid or change my citizenship to a new country, just to keep things fresh.
LOL. I've found that, when working with disabled kids, things like "*other aide* eats her boogers!!" are a big hit. And yeah, when I used to work in a dementia unit, and I'd have the same residents ask me about my life daily, I'd make up all kinds of creative details. :)
To the the nurse who called me on the company cell to let me know that room 214 & 216 needed ice and water, thanks. I appreciate your teamwork...*rolls eyes*. I was in the middle of bathing a patient and had 4 call lights going off. You should be rewarded for your outstanding teamwork.:icon_roll
To the the nurse who called me on the company cell to let me know that room 214 & 216 needed ice and water, thanks. I appreciate your teamwork...*rolls eyes*. I was in the middle of bathing a patient and had 4 call lights going off. You should be rewarded for your outstanding teamwork.:icon_roll
I so wish I could say in these instances "Are your arms and legs broken?". I know that nurses have med passes (among other things) to do, but a nice chunk of our nurses spend 1/4 of the shift behind the nurses' station NOT charting.
Azure1213
28 Posts
To the male resident on my hall...MY NAME IS NOT HONEY!!! I don't like being called honey, please ask me what my name is. And get over your little drama with the nurse just because she had to leave during your shift. You know how riduclous you look going over the entire home loooking for someone to do your blood sugar?
To my boss: You need to add more help, especially down my hall. There's 22 full rooms and 1 of me and its so easy for me to get behind my work and not pass ice to the rest of the facility. Also, you should really watch who put down my hall, some of these people do not belong in assisted living.
To the people who edited my get up list- take the stand up lift person off my list, it takes forever to do her!